


Hands of Time and Fate

by DarkDevilsAdvocate



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, Character death in the first chapter, F/M, Family Fluff, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Fluff and Angst, Grandma Rhea, I Don't Know Anymore, Overly Protective Dimitri, Post-Canon, Post-Time Skip, Romance, Slight Spoilers for Golden Deer, Time Travel, humor?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-13 04:50:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 63,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21488632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkDevilsAdvocate/pseuds/DarkDevilsAdvocate
Summary: Dimitri's life kept being taken but Byleth was determined to keep him alive. She couldn't let him die, WOULDN'T let him die. Somehow her determination to save him caused something that should not be possible. She turned back time to the day she was reunited with the Blue Lions.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 90
Kudos: 326





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is originally posted on Fanfiction.net and a reviewer suggested posting it here so... Here it is!
> 
> This chapter was something my brain insisted on. Any chapter after this is something that I had to actually think about and put together because my brain is a douche. It forced this in my mind and then basically went "That's it. I don't care about anything after that." Still, I hope you all enjoy.
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate

Fhirdiad was always a little cool with the northern winds but the city was even colder during the winter month of the Guardian Moon; especially during the nights. The season had spilled thick snow haphazardly across on the roofs and ramparts of the city, piling up against buildings and encouraging people to stay indoors. The stone of the kingdom castle carried a chill readily but Byleth remained warm in bed, snuggled up against her husband under several fur-lined blankets. They were just enjoying the few moments they had with each other when they weren't busy between her duties as the Archbishop and his as the King of a unified country.

"The anniversary of Jeralt's death is coming up." Dimitri brought up in a somber tone, his hand running up and down Byleth's upper arm as they huddled against each other against the cold; each enjoying the warmth the other provided. "Are you going to return to the monestary?"

Byleth sighed and turned in Dimitri's arms until she was resting half on his chest, looking up at his face though she could hardly make it's outline in the dark. It was an old hurt but Dimitri was careful when it came to Byleth's wounds, both physical and emotional and she loved him for it. She gave him a gentle kiss to his bare chest before answering.

"I was thinking about it. I have been trying to visit his grave every year... I doubt you would want to come with me?"

"I could if I rearrange some things. I should be able to get a few days off."

"Good. I'm expecting you to use your great manly charm to keep me from becoming too depressed." Byleth's tone took on a teasing lilt as she smiled and leaned up to kiss him, laughing when Dimitri twisted so that he could flip her onto the bed, holding himself over her with a chuckle of his own.

"I think I can may-."

"Dimitri?" Byleth asked when Dimitri cut himself off as an odd surprised look came over his face. He coughed and she felt something warm and wet splatter across her face.

"By...leth..." He ground out before collapsing on her, pinning her with his greater weight. Byleth's arms automatically went around him and she felt something sticking out of his back, cutting the tip of her finger on a sharpened edge. Her breath came quickly and if her heart could beat she knew that it would be going a mile a minute; pounding against her ribs painfully.

"Damn. Missed." A menacing voice came out of the dark and she felt a presence approaching.

_No, This isn't right. This can't be. An assassin? Why? No. No. That meant that Dimitri was... That he was..._

"No. No no no no no! NO!" Power pulsed through Byleth and she felt the jerk of time changing around her. Everything reasserted itself to a minute earlier with Byleth half-laying on her living husband again.

"I could if I rearrange some things. I should be able to get a few days off."

"Someone's in the room." She hissed and Dimitri quickly moved to grab his lance, Areadbhar, that he kept nearby the bed just as she kept her sword on the other side. They both agreed that they wanted to be close to their weapons; just in case. He hadn't even hesitated at her words, he trusted her so. It was one of the reasons she loved him.

She heard the quiet sound of steel sliding through skin, chipping bone, and she watched in horror as the shadowed form that was Dimitri fall limp.

"Naughty, Naughty." The assassin's voice echoed in the dark. She could hear his mocking voice, feel him getting closer, knew that she was going to be next but she couldn't care. She was grabbing at Dimitri's body that was slowly sliding off the bed under it's own weight.

"No! No! NO!" Power coursed through her veins and again she felt the jerking motion of time rewinding.

"I could if I rearrange some things. I should be able to get a few days off."

Byleth glanced around before she rolled out of Dimitri's grasp and reached for her Sword of the Creator, ignoring the confused sound Dimitri made at her movements. She felt the slice of steel as the assassin's weapon dug into her shoulder but she ignored the feel of it as she twisted to slice out at the unknown man, forcing him back. Byleth's wound wept freely when he pulled his weapon from her as he dodged her attack. Her husband must have seen something she couldn't because she heard him shout her name and then he was in front of her, the assassin's weapon digging into his unprotected chest.

Again she rewound time. Again she tried a different method to fight of the assassin. Again Dimitri took the hit. Again, again, again.

Each time Dimitri died in her place. Each time she turned back time. Each time she tried to stop the death of her love.

She recalled Sothis gently telling her that some deaths were just meant to be after Jeralt's passing but Byleth wouldn't allow that to happen. She _couldn't_ let that happen.

So she rewound time again and again.

"I could if I rearrange some things. I should be able to get-." Byleth didn't even let him finish as she leapt desperately for her sword, unleashing it's power in a flash of crimson, and swung wildly. Her sword, as a whip, lashed out into the darkness. She heard Dimitri's cry of surprise at her sudden movements but knew that he would remain put as she thrashed about, listening to the sound of her whip-blade sparking against stone walls, splintering the wood of the wardrobe, ripping the paintings, shattering of a vase. Byleth was destroying their room but she didn't care. She heard someone outside the room shout something, she must have been making alot of noise for so late at night, and the door opened to the sound of that same person yelping as they dodged her wild swings.

After the muscles in her arm burned from the constant movement and her breathing was harsh, like she had run for miles, she slowed to a stop. She must have been a sight; sword in hand as she stared wildly into the dark that was only pierced by the flickering candlelight from the hall. Someone, Dedue she belatedly realized, entered the room now that the danger of being a victim to her sword had ended and he moved quickly to the bed to see if his King was still alright and alive. Byleth ignored their conversation, trusting in herself not to hit her beloved husband, and saw the motionless body of the assassin on the floor; a puddle of blood quickly growing under him.

"Byleth?" She heard someone call as she crossed the room to the supposedly dead body. Sorrow and despair from her constant failures to save Dimitri's life welled up, transformed into unrelenting rage, and she stabbed down at the body. Again and again. She screamed in frustrated fury so she wouldn't drown in the emotion within her, only stopping when Dimitri came to her; pulling her into his arms as he breathed soothing words to her while rubbing her back and petting her hair.

Byleth's rapid panting slowly turned to sobs as the many varied deaths she witnessed of her husband returned. She dropped her sword in a clatter and clung to him as she released all of her misery in a flood of tears.

He was here. He was alive. She had done it. She had _saved him_.

A flash of purple light appeared out of the corner of her eye and she heard both Dimitri and Dedue shout something but she was focused on was the words of the stranger that had appeared. They were quiet but somehow menacing.

"Disappointing."

"Byleth!" Dimitri screamed and he jerked her sideways, stepping into the spot where she had just been standing. She stared up at him as his eye looked down at her and his mouth moved as if he was saying something but no sound came out. A trickle of blood slipped from between his lips, dripping on her face and she watched in horror as the light of life fled his gaze. Why was the wet blood on her face so warm while Dimitri was growing so cold?

"Your Grace!" She heard Dedue shout but his voice sounded quiet and far away as she fell to her knees when Dimitri's dead weight dragged her down. She had thought she had no more tears to give, having cried herself empty earlier, but her vision blurred until she couldn't see Dimitri's paling face anymore.

Why? Why? She had killed the assassin! She had _saved him!_ Why was Dimitri still dead?! Why?!

"No. No. No. NO. NO. NO! NO! _NO!_ **_NO!_**"

Power pulsed through her, pushing outward in a violent wave. She could hear the two men still alive in the room say something but she couldn't understand them over the rushing roar of sound in her ears. Byleth could feel something different about this power as it swirled around her like storm and then her vision went dark.

* * *

"Hey! A-are you awake?"

Byleth came to on a riverbank, hair and clothes clinging to her skin in their wet state, and a stranger standing over her with a concerned expression. The man quickly moved to her side and helped her up when he noticed her trying to stand. Byleth took a few moments to gain her bearing; casting a quick glance around.

"Where am I?"

"We're in a village at the base of the monastery. What are you doing in a place like this? I honestly didn't expect to find someone floating away down the river..."

Something wasn't right. She was obviously no longer in the bedroom she shared with Dimitri in Fhirdiad and though this man was a stranger his words and face held a familiarity that Byleth couldn't quite place.

"Garreg Mach is upstream of here, but that place was abandoned." The man continued, oblivious to Byleth's confusion.

"What do you mean?" Garreg Mach? She couldn't have been that close. She had been in Faerghus for a while. Even if she had managed to push her abilities to their furthest and drained herself to the point of near death she would only have been able to go back a day, maybe two, not far enough to put her in a time near the monastery.

"You don't know? The Church of Seiros isn't there anymore." No. That couldn't be right. She was the Archbishop and, though the Church had changed under the reforms that she had implemented with the help of the others, it was still very much around. There was only one other explanation but there was no way she could be where and when she was beginning to think she was. "Though there have been some folks still living there in the five years since... Well, you know. Anyway, I've heard some thieves have been spotted around those parts these days."

Five years? It couldn't be that time. No, that was _impossible_. She didn't have the power to do something like this. She had just wanted to save Dimitri. There was no way she could have pushed herself back so far. Even if she_ could,_ there was no way she could do so after the many resets she had gone through previously, trying to keep Dimitri alive.

"What year is it?"

"Um, are you feeling all right? You didn't hit your head or anything, did you? It's the Ethereal Moon of the year 1185. It's been nearly five years since the moastery fell. Tomorrow was supposed to be the millennium festival, but who's got time to think about things like that?"

"The millennium festival..."

Byleth could feel the breath leave her like she had been struck hard as she tried to wrap her mind around what had happened. Somehow, in some impossible chance, she had forced herself back to after she had woken up in the midst of the war. It couldn't be possible but here she was. She had somehow turned back the hands of time several _years_. Garreg Mach would be in ruins and everyone would be at war.

"Uh, yeah, that's what I said. But with the war and the Archbishop still missing and all... I doubt there's a soul to be found who has enough blessings worth counting." The stranger man answered; oblivious to the fact that she was no longer listening. Byleth turned in the direction of the monastery. She already knew the way. She had been on this path before.

"Hey! Slow down, will ya? Where do you think you're going?"

"The monastery."

"Are you crazy?! I told ya! They say thieves are running amok up there, and there's plenty of other dangers too. I heard a rumor that Imperial troops went up there to investigate and got slaughtered. Every last one! Come on, I promise I won't say you're a coward. Just forget about going anywhere near the monastery." The villager exclaimed, trying to keep her from walking to what he thought was certain death. She knew that he was only worried about her, not knowing who she was, but she couldn't _not_ go. Byleth shook her head. She knew she had to go. Otherwise everything would be lost. The future that was hers would be lost.

"You just remember I tried to stop you, got it? It's not on my conscience if you wind up dead!"

"No need to worry about me." She knew what she was going to find. She knew she would be able to take any bandits that came at her but she also knew that she wouldn't be fighting those bandits alone. Still she didn't relish what, or who rather, she was going to find. Byleth didn't want to see him like that again but knew that she would have to. She couldn't leave him to wallow in his own madness. She _would_ save him.


	2. Chapter 2

Byleth walked up the stairs slowly, stepping over the dead bodies of countless imperial soldiers, numb to the visceral images surrounding her. Her steps were heavy as she tried not to think about what she would find at the top of the stairs. She wasn't going to stop. Even if she had to deal with his hatred and his cold attitude she would find some way to save him. She would save him from himself and she would save him from all their enemies.

She stepped into the dawning light of the new day. Predictably she found him leaning against the far wall, hiding in shadow. She moved closer to him and he looked up, watching her progress until she stopped before him, reaching her hand out to him, despite knowing that he would only turn away from her.

"I should've known... that one day... you would be haunting me as well. You... What must I do to be rid of you?" He asked as he pushed off the wall to stand to his full height. She remembered being surprised at how much taller he had grown, towering over her, but now she had grown so used to his height, to how her body fit perfectly against his that it no longer intimidated her. "I will kill that woman, I swear it. Do not look at me with scorn in your eyes!"

Byleth had been so confused by his words last time she had stood here and had asked him what he was talking about. She didn't need to this time. She knew of the madness, of the voices that whispered in his ears, of the specters that haunted him.

"Everything will be OK." She told him; desperately wanting to pull him to her, to hold him and soothe his worries like he had done for her before. Or perhaps it should be like he would do in the future? It was too confusing. Byleth had never turned back time so far before. She had never dealt with the consequences of changing a future she had seen beyond a few seconds.

She stepped closer to him but paused, forcing herself to remember that this Dimitri was not_ her_ Dimitri. Not yet. He wouldn't welcome her unwanted touch. At best he would push her away and at worse she would have a lance through her stomach. Instead she looked up at his surprised expression with a sad one of her own.

"You... It can't be? You're alive?! Hmph. If that is the case...That can only mean you are another Imperial spy. Did you come here to kill me?" Of course he would think like that. The only people he had dealt with the past several years had been people trying to take his life. Any trust he used to have was shattered and she knew that she would be spending the next few months piecing it back together so that he could return to being a virtuous man. His suspicion was understandable. It was the only thing he could think of for her continued survival. "Answer the question."

"Of course not." Byleth would never want to hurt him but knew that she wouldn't have his trust for many months more. Dimitri scoffed and walked past her as if to leave her there, pausing for a moment when she spoke.

"I'm glad you're safe."

"Am I?"

He didn't say anything else as he went down the stairs, leaving Byleth to follow him towards the cathedral. He stopped, his back still to her, and waited. They both stood there in silence as she tried to think of what to say to break the silence. She knew what she had asked last time, about the five years they had been apart, about how he had said he had been essentially dead, and her asking about why he would say such things. She didn't need to ask those now. She knew the answers already.

"I'm sorry." She apologized. She didn't know what else to say. She felt like she had to say sorry for all the time that she was gone, for everything that he had been through, for not being able to save him, then and now.

"Why?" Dimitri asked but spoke again before she could explain. "It doesn't matter. There are more important matters at hand..."

"Rats."

"Yes. Filthy rats. Everywhere. And traces of those who were here long ago. And thieves, crawling from the woodwork, attracted by the promise of treasure." Dimitri gave a humorless laugh as he mused about the change of the world due to the monastery.

"Heh... Since the monastery fell, order in the area fell right along with it. You must have seen the state of the town near Garreg Mach on your way here. Vile Thieves run rampant. They pillage and loot to their hearts' content.

"I must kill them. Every last one. It's time to hunt down their nest."

"They're just trying to survive too. We don't have to kill them to stop them." Byleth pleaded despite knowing that he wouldn't listen to her words. As he was now Dimitri thought blood could only be answered by blood.

"They must die. Someone must put a stop to this cycle of the strong trampling the weak. Or do you condone their actions? Do you believe that the pillaging and slaughtering those rats live for is justified?! It is reprehensible, and they must be put down! I intend to give them a taste of the pain they have inflicted on others. Even if it means becoming a rat myself. I swore to at least do that much... I will not let them down..."

Byleth stared at him sadly, know everything he said he really believed. Hearing the words again she could still see the Dimitri knew, the idealist that wanted to make a world a better place for those that couldn't do it for themselves, but his tone of voice and his aggression hurt her deeply. She may have been able to handle it better if he wasn't so hostile towards her and the allies that she knew would be arriving soon. The whole conversation that had taken place in the chapel, Dimitri hadn't turned to her once.

Byleth sighed and followed the man that was no longer her husband out of the chapel and towards where the bandits made camp. Despite Dimitri refusing to look at her, she was determined not to leave him alone. Byleth knew he would rush right into the middle of the enemy encampment and he needed someone to watch his back at the very least.

* * *

"Why are you here?" Dimitri asked in a flat tone. The others had arrived, just as Byleth knew they would, and had helped them clear out the bandits but despite that Dimitri didn't welcome them warmly. Byleth didn't know if it was because her younger body hadn't adapted to having emotions or if she was just growing desensitized to his attitude, but Dimitri's maddened hostility didn't bother her as much as it had when she had first arrived. She felt numb to it all and it was probably reflected by her expressionless face.

"Did you forget? We all made a promise on this very day five years ago." Ashe replied with a frown. Mercedes followed his statement with a smile.

"Dimitri, weren't you the one who asked that we all meet up here?"

"Don't be silly! Of course you remember our promise. That's why you and the professor are here, right?"

"Your Highness... I have been following news of your whereabouts for a while now. I am relieved to have finally found you." Gilbert bowed, his tone a relieved one at finding his monarch safe and sound.

"Do not call me that. I am not a prince, but a walking corpse." Dimitri snapped and Byleth wanted to sigh again at his words, the numbness spreading through her chest slowly at his self-deprecation. Was there anything she could say to help him? She didn't know but she had to try. She would try and keep trying until he realized that this was not the way to atone for his survivor's guilt.

"You are very much alive because you are here, now, with us." Byleth told him with feeling, reaching out to touch his arm, trying not to feel hurt when he pulled away from her before she could touch him. Instead she let her hand fall to her side. Gilbert nodded in agreement with the professor's words.

"I can see with my own eyes that you are alive, Your Highness. But the jail cells in Fhirdiad are as solid as they come. How did you manage to..."

"Dedue." Dimitri answered, sorrow taking over the aggressive expression he had been wearing since they had met again. "He's dead. He died in my place."

"No." Byleth breathed before stopping the words that wanted to follow. She knew he wasn't dead. She knew that he would escape with the help of the Duscar soldiers they had saved before. She knew that he would reunite with them once again, but no one else would understand. Luckily the others took it as her being in shock at the supposed death of one of her students. The others looked at both her and Dimitri with pitied sorrow.

"I see. We will be sure to honor his loyalty, Your Highness." Gilbert said, giving his condolences before moving onto important political matters. "As for the state of the Kingdom, the lords from the western regions have declared their fealty to the Empire, starting with House Rowe. Cornelia's band of traitors now refers to the Kingdom territory as the Faerghus Dukedom. They've made Fhirdiad their stronghold as they continue to invade the eastern region."

"There are still some that are loyal to the kingdom." Byleth glanced to Felix and Sylvain. Both of their houses along with a few others would come to their aid if only Dimitri would call for it. Felix's father would even give up his life for Dimitri and the kingdom.

"Yeah, like mine and Felix's that remain stubbornly opposed." Sylvain agreed.

"Your Highness. Please allow us to take up arms at your side once more. What we need more than anything isn't soldiers, money, or supplies. We need the legitimate heir of Faerghus to overthrow the Empire and reclaim the Kingdom! Such is your duty. It is yours alone to bear and well worth fighting for. Only you can gather our troops and lead us back into the light."

"You're still needed, Dimitri." Byleth replied, waving a hand towards Gilbert and the speech he had just given, feeling a sense of Deja vu at her own words.

"I see." Dimitri began slowly. "So, you all agree that we must fight back. And you see how that woman... how the Empire cannot be forgiven. That we must wipe them all out until not a single one of them remains..."

"Wipe them all out? Umm, I don't think any of us here are suggesting anything that extreme..." Annette reasoned, looking to the others for their thoughts. They all silently agreed with her and Gilbert sighed at the extreme measures that Dimitri was willing to go towards his vengeance.

"Professor... There is something I would like to ask you. Please, join me inside the monastery." Byleth nodded and followed Gilbert inside, leaving the others to catch up with each other and what they had been doing the past five years. She knew she wasn't missing anything because she already knew what they had been up to, just as she knew what Gilbert was going to ask; about where she had been since the attack on the monastery. She would tell him exactly what she did last time she had lived through all this.

Gilbert explained what had happened to the kingdom; about how Cornelia had sentenced Dimitri to death for the death of his uncle, about how some people still had hope because the body had been concealed, about how rumors had popped up of platoons of imperial soldiers being killed brutally, and about how he had followed those rumors until he had found Dimitri. Byleth stayed silent as she listened politely. Gilbert thought that she had been asleep the past five years so of course he would want to make sure she was caught up on the turmoil that was plaguing the continent.

Byleth stayed silent through the whole conversation. She didn't need to prompt him to continue and she didn't have any questions to ask since she already had knowledge of all this.

"I fear his deep hatred, and the weight of his solitude, have consumed him for far too long... We must bring him back from the edge on which he stands. To that end, I must speak with His Highness. I imagine it will not be a quick or easy conversation. I pray that he is of mind to speak of such things. I am certain that my words will... Never mind. What must be done must be done."

"I will help in any way I can." Byleth promised, knowing full well that a single conversation wouldn't be enough to pull Dimitri back from that precipice. It would take months of continued support and a sacrifice...

She didn't want to think about that right now.

"Thank you. I would wager that you are weary after the day's events. Perhaps you should take this opportunity to get some rest."

Byleth nodded and left to head back to her room, taking her time to study the monastery as she followed the well-worn path to her dorm. There were so many memories here, both past and future, and seeing the monastery falling apart and full of holes had always been hard.

She paused when she noticed black, blue, and blonde down the path, watching Dimitri stalk along like the predator he was. He must have felt her eyes upon her because he stopped, turned, and their gazes met. She gave him a small smile which fell away when his stare hardened into a glare and he turned away from her. Her hands clasped together over where her heart sat unbeating as she followed him with her eyes until he was out of sight. The Ethereal moon was cold but without Dimitri's warmth at her side the wind felt even colder, cutting through to her bone, and her memories of their time together were mere embers to the reality she was currently living in.

She would save him. She just had to believe in that. _She would save him_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the first chapter that wasn't just given to me by my stupid brain.
> 
> The events will follow the Blue Lion route for a bit but there will be changes to some conversations due to the nature of the story. Right now, the changes will be small but as the story goes on the changes will get larger and larger until Byleth doesn't know what will happen.
> 
> If a conversation comes across as OOC, let me know and how it would fit the character better. I want to keep as true to these characters as possible. Enjoy.
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate


	3. Chapter 3

Dimitri stayed in the chapel, away from the others, as he stared at the rubble that perfectly represented his life while the voices of the dead roared in his ears. He would always know when she would approach; he could feel it as one felt a chill walk up their spine. She never said anything and never seemed to flinch away from him even when he scowled at her and told her to leave him alone or to go away. The first time she had approached him she had grabbed his wrist without explaination and he had yanked away but his strong and stubborn professor simply grabbed at him again and shoved something into his hand before he could retaliate, glared up at him, then turned and walked away. All without a word. When his mind had become aware enough to turn away from the retreating professor to look at whatever she had shoved at him, he was surprised to see half a loaf of bread gripped in his gloved hand.

Every day she found a couple minutes to stop by and force some kind of food on him; bread, fruit, tarts and puffs, handful of nuts, sandwiches and wraps. Everyday a different food. Everyday without a word spoken. Even when he tried to push her away or turn and stalk out of the chapel, Byleth would just chase him down and force the food into his hands. He couldn't figure out what she had planned; why she would insist on coming to him and feeding him every day no matter how busy she got. He eventually just stopped trying, waiting for her to come to him, to take the food she offered, and watch her as she walked away without saying anything to him.

He noticed after two weeks of this that the voices didn't seem as loud when she was around...

* * *

"You've been busy, Professor." Sylvain called to pause Byleth long enough until he could make it to her side, one brow raised in an knowing expression as he looked at the root she held in her hand. Byleth had been making contact with the few merchants that had arrived after the Knights of Seiros had returned along with the other staff members. She had been talking extensively with Manuela while she formed a plan for the future battles they faced. She was racing against the clock until the end of the month and she felt like she was running out of time. "That's a powerful paralytic. Makes one wonder what it'll be used for."

"Sylvain..." She had been careful not to spill anything that could change the future she remembered but there was only so much she could do on her own. She needed people she could trust to put her plans into action and it couldn't just be any knight or priest. Any of them could be a spy and she couldn't risk that.

Dimitri must really be getting to her with his paranoia.

"Sylvain, I need you to do something for me." She told him seriously; glancing around to make sure that there was no one else that could overhear what she was about to tell him. "You must keep it an upmost secret."

"You're starting to scare me Professor. You sure you haven't caught whatever changed Dimitri?" Sylvain joked though his expression was serious. He seemed to catch on to her nervousness, as odd as it was to see that from their professor, and he leaned in a little while lowering his voice into a conspiratorial whisper. "What do you need?"

"Whatever I say, I need you to trust me and don't ask questions. There's a lot I can't tell you. Just... please." She sighed heavily, looked Sylvain in the eyes and explained what she needed of him.

* * *

It was bad today. Dimitri had tried to ignore them, to hold out, but their eyes drilled into him as he grew deaf over the roar of blood in his ears, unable to hear his own ragged breathing. Scorn and hatred burned along his skin as their voices screamed in his head until he couldn't turn a blind eye any more.

"You're wrong." He denied desperately as clawing accusations echoed around him. "It's not like that, Glenn. I swear it. Any love I once had for my stepsister... has been tossed aside. Only hatred remains. If I could tear that woman to shred right this very moment, I would. I don't care if she's the emperor. It's no different than killing anyone else. So I beg you... all of you... Do not worry about my resolve."

Their voices became quieter but they still stood there, almost as solid as a living person, with glaring eyes. Dimitri was acutely aware of their stares burrowing into him as they leered at him with disappointment.

"Please, Father... And you too, Stepmother... Do not gaze at me with that look in your eyes... I will bring you her head soon. And when I do, you may finally rest in peace. I know it... Yes, I know it..."

"Snap out of it, Dimitri." Byleth called, reaching out to touch him only to drop her hand when he spoke. She hid her flinch at the growl in his voice.

"What do you want?" She didn't know exactly what he was going through. She only had an idea from what he had told her, but it was enough to paint the picture. She didn't think she could deafen him to the voices of the dead but she would try everything to get him focused on the living.

"I wanted to check on you." Byleth told him truthfully, grasping her hands over her heart in a physical attempt to hold back the emotions and words that whirled around inside her, waiting to be freed. She had never been much of a secretive person, telling everything to first her father and then her husband. Holding everything back like this, carrying the weight of the future on her shoulders, sometimes it felt like too much, like she would break under it all. Sometimes she just wanted to confess everything but she couldn't. This was her burden.

"I see." Was all Dimitri said in reply to her concern. He turned the conversation towards the war, instead. "We should make haste and prepare to move out at once. I must kill her as soon as possible..."

"That won't stop them."

"What do you know?" Dimitri scowled, finally turning to face her, his voice deepening with his anger. "If I must, I will go by myself."

"Dimitri-."

"Pardon the interruption. We must prepare a counterattack at once." Gilbert came in, stopping whatever Byleth was about to say. "The Imperial army has caught wind of our position. It would seem they were patrolling this place, after all."

"The Imperial army, is it? Well, well. Hehehe..."

"Your Highness... I ask that you please refrain from reckless behavior in battle." Gilbert asked but Dimitri didn't seem to be paying him much mind, already lost into thoughts of revenge. Byleth thought she did well hiding the shiver that ran through her at Dimitri's sadistic laugh. What bothered her wasn't that she felt a slight fear at the sound... it was that it had attracted her. If she hadn't been so keenly aware of Dimitri's current disdain for her, and that they were currently in the chapel of the monastery, she might have done something regrettable.

"I'll go make sure the others are prepared." She told the two men before turning and fleeing from her own body's reactions to the man that both was and wasn't her husband.

Only in the quiet of her own mind did she admit that she missed his touch.

* * *

The battle was over and Byleth was tired from keeping enemies off of Dimitri's back while giving the orders that would keep the others alive but she knew she wasn't done yet. She waved to Sylvain and Felix and approached where Dimitri stood with the captured enemy commander who was begging for his life.

"A beast of your depravity, prattling on about family? How amusing."

"As though you could understand... such a thing as love... You heartless monster!" The general scowled at Dimitri's condescending tone.

"You are a monster too, general. You have just yet to realize it. A monster who thinks he's a man... despicable. As a general, you must have killed countless souls without a shred of mercy. Do you still remember the sound of them begging, just as you're begging now? Or, now that your life is at its end, will you hold to the lie that your hands are not stained red with blood?"

"This... this is war. I did what I had to for the Empire... for the people... for my family!"

"So, you are piling up corpses for the people and for your family. And I am doing the same for the salvation of the dead... After all is said and done, we are both murderers. Both stained. Both monsters." Byleth heard Sylvain curse under his breath at her side as they listened to Dimitri's rant. It was then that she realized that though they had an idea of Dimitri's madness, that they had never seen it like _this_. Even during the last timeline she lived through, they hadn't been close enough to hear him threatening this man like that.

"You're wrong!"

"Am I? I can smell the rotting flesh upon your hands even now, General."

"Enough! That's enough!"

"I won't kill you right away, my fellow monster. Unless you object to watching your friends die. One... by... one. If so, I will do you the service of removing your eyes first so that-." Byleth was finally close enough to slip the dagger she normally carried at her waist out of it's holster and in between the plates of the general's armor. As his body stiffened and he fell to his side, he managed to ground out an apology to someone named Fleche and Byleth knew she had made the right decision.

"What's the meaning of this?" Dimitri demanded as he glared at Byleth, ignoring how Sylvain and Felix grabbed the still body of the general and dragged it away. Byleth and Dimitri stared at each other while she seriously considered running away from him and the dark look he leveled on her. No, she would stand her ground. She would not have anyone think her a coward, especially this man. She took a deep breath and answered honestly.

"I miss the Dimitri I knew."

"The Dimitri you once knew is dead. All that remains is the repulsive, blood-stained monster you see before you." He told her as he looked down at her. "If you do not approve of what I have become, then kill me. If you insist that you cannot then-."

"NO!" Byleth shouted, interrupting his rant and gaining the glances of the others as she returned his scowl with one of her own. They had never heard her raise her voice to any of the students before and though they were curious, they knew better than to get involved. All of them quickly found other things to distract themselves with... far away from Dimitri and Byleth. "I miss MY Dimitri! I miss my _husband_! I miss the man that worked hard to make sure the people of his kingdom were taken care of! I miss the man that would greet everyone he passed, even if it was just a 'hello' and a nod! I miss the man that would take long rides with me so we could just talk! I miss the man that would simply hold me when I would have nightmares!"

Byleth had had enough of tears and yet they came anyway as she confessed her heart. She shouted in her head for her to shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP! but her mouth wouldn't listen and she spilled her guts of all the pain she had been carrying the past month. Dimitri only stared at her in shock, listening to her words.

"What are you saying?" He asked, his voice oddly quiet. Suddenly something seemed to click in his head and he moved a step closer, somehow managing to make it feel menacing. Byleth rubbed at her eyes as she continued. She had already ruined this, whatever future they had, she might as well keep going.

"I know you think you're a monster but you'll become a good man and a better king. I _know_ you will but I'm afraid. I will have to let him die for that to happen and I don't know if I have the strength for that. It's the best outcome, I _know._ A little bit of pain to save so many others from the _same_ pain but can I really let him just die without trying _anything_?"

"Who?" Dimitri grabbed Byleth's upper arms in a crushing grip, ignoring how she flinched at his touch, shaking her a bit when she remained quiet. "Who!?"

"No. You _will _become you who need to become. Even if it means you will never be mine." She told him before pushing his arms off of her, looking up at him once more then turning to walk away from him. She left him there in a dumbfounded state with more questions than answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, for some reason I thought this happened a little later than it does.
> 
> It kind of throws off the timeline I had in my head but whatever. I'll make do.
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate.


	4. Chapter 4

She was avoiding him.

And that fact irritated him.

Dimitri stalked through the monastery looking for signs of his professor, calling out to and giving chase when he caught sight of her but she always managed to evade him, seeming to know the monastery better than he did and he had to wonder if it was in relation to whatever she had said after the last attack. Her smaller frame and less restrictive armor allowed her to slip in between holes and cracks that were being still being repaired, giving her the chance to escape him time and time again.

He understood the irony of his actions; now he had told her to 'leave him alone' and to 'go away' so many times when she had approached him that now that she _was_ leaving him alone, running away more precisely, he was chasing her down. Dimitri wanted answers and he had lost a lot of his patience over the 5 years since the war had begun. He hung outside the lectures throughout the week on the off-chance he could corner her but Byleth simply disappeared in the crowd of exiting students. It had gotten to the point that he had even checked where he knew she would be, her room at night, but even then she had managed to slip away from him.

This time, though, he would catch her. She had always been diligent; arriving early to lectures and meetings and even if she came with others, he would wait to catch her alone afterwards. This was a conversation he felt that they needed to have and it was one he felt was probably best held alone; between only them.

* * *

Byleth entered the meeting room with Annette and Mercedes, the two talking about tea parties and sweets while she listened in quietly. She had purposely made sure she was with someone else when she came to the meeting room because she figured that if she had been alone Dimitri would have taken the chance to ask her questions that she didn't want to answer. From the dark look he leveled on her, she had guessed correctly.

She felt torn; she was pleased he thought her credible enough that he didn't just write her words off as the ramblings of a crazy person but she was also upset that he was so doggedly determined to get answers to the little bit she had let slip.

Once everyone had arrived Gilbert began the war meeting.

"We managed to repel the Imperial army, but we remain divided on our next course of action. I anticipate a second and third wave of attack... With our current forces, we'll have our hands full just defending."

"It's a miracle we managed to repel the Imperial army with the few units and resources we do have." Sylvain piped in. Byleth slowly tuned out the rest of their words as she fell into a sleepy daze. The past week had been a bit harder than she had imagined it would be with her basically playing hide and seek with Dimitri. She was probably in better shape now than she had been in the rest of her life, never having run so much. Even battles only lasted a couple hours on the long side and even then had down time. Dimitri had proven why he made such a good ruler in her past, his future, with his unwillingness to admit defeat.

Already she was unable to use her room since she had woken to Dimitri standing over her in the middle of the night earlier that week. She had screamed, lashed out, and managed to run away while he was doubled over in more surprise than pain. A daylight inspection had proved that he had just pulled on the door with his monstrous strength until the wood had splintered around the lock. Even after being replaced twice more, the door was broken, showing that Dimitri had come back to see if she had returned. It had gotten to the point that the monastery staff no longer changed her door out, leaving it in it's severed state.

Because he had literally _broken in to her room._

Her sleep schedule had become one of naps throughout the day and night in a variety of hiding places. Byleth had learned of plenty of hiding spots when she was still Archbishop and even more during this past week, allowing her to take short naps before some internal sense would wake her and she would switch places. It wouldn't do to let Dimitri find her in one of her hiding places and make that place forever unusable; much like her room.

She had scared poor Mercedes when she had found Byleth asleep under her bed at one point.

When she wasn't napping or catching her breath from running from Dimitri's determination, she thought about what her confession would mean for the future. She knew that he loved her in her future but the Dimitri now? How could she know? She didn't know exactly when _her_ Dimitri had started loving her. As far as she knew, he had developed those feelings during the war and now she had ruined it all because she couldn't keep her own mouth shut. Still... perhaps this was better.

Over the past week Byleth had used the moments alone to contemplate her past and future; gently going over the memories of that night, as fragile as they were, and she came to the realization that most of Dimitri's deaths had been because he had stepped in the way of the attack meant for _her_. She could only hope that if this Dimitri would never be hers it meant that he would at least be safe.

She just needed to get him out of this need for vengeance.

"Professor... Whatever you decide, we shall follow." Byleth glanced up quickly at Seteth's voice calling her title and she looked at all the others that were staring at her. She hadn't been paying attention to the conversation but she had heard it already. She took a moment to steel herself before finally meeting Dimitri's gaze with her own.

"We should go take back to Fhirdiad."

"You were entrusted with leading the church. One would think the logical step is to march to Enbarr. If Lady Rhea is being held prisoner in the Empire, we don't have time to waste taking back Fhirdiad. Can you deny it?"

"And you have a responsibility to the people of Faerghus, living _and_ dead, but you're leaving them to Cornelia's hands!"

"If we take Enbarr then the war ends!" Dimitri snapped back and the others could only watch as the two that they were looking towards for leadership glared at each other. The contest of wills may have continued if Gilbert hadn't coughed and brought everyone's attention to himself.

"Either way, we are in need of numbers. It is essential that we secure backup."

"You have already sent a letter to Rodrigue?" Byleth asked, finally turning her eyes away from Dimitri to look at the knight who gave a nod in answer and she turned away from the group. "We'll wait until he sends a reply. He'll lend us the troops we need."

Byleth paused and glanced to Dimitri again with the knowledge that despite her objections they would move towards Enbarr anyway.

"Then we can march on the Empire." She saw the brief surprise on his face before she turned away from him and headed towards the door, pausing once more to look back at them. Without a second thought she focused on the future king, stuck her tongue out at him, turned, and fled out the door.

"Professor!" Dimitri shouted, the first to recover from the shock at her immature gesture, and pushed forward to run after her. The others heard his heavy footsteps fading in the distance while silence hung heavy over their heads. Felix was the one to break it.

"What is going on with them?"

"I think it's cute." Mercedes replied with a smile, gaining incredulous stares from the others. "Have you noticed? As long as he's focused on her, he's not as focused on death and revenge."

"You're right. He has been... nicer." Ashe added as he thought back to an encounter he had had earlier that week.

** _ Ashe was walking through the reception hall towards the stairs so he could visit the library as Dimitri rushed passed him only to pause and backtrack so he could ask if he had seen the professor._ **

** _"Y-yeah, I think I saw her at the dining hall." He answered, keeping his gaze on the future king as he waved towards where he had just come from._ **

** _"Thanks." Dimitri turned and ran towards where Ashe had pointed, leaving him standing there in surprise. A word of gratitude was not what he had expected from someone who had already told them all that he would sacrifice them all for his vengeance._ **

"Do you think this is all her plan?" Sylvain asked, looking to the others who gave varying answers along the line of 'I don't know'.

* * *

_What am I DOING?!_

Byleth gasped as she ran, thinking about what she had just done. When she had looked at Dimitri in that meeting room she had wanted to tweak his proverbial tail feathers but sticking her tongue out at him? Like a _child_? Whatever had possessed her?!

She could hear Dimitri behind her, following her through the reception hall and the entrance hall, dodging people and pillars. Out the front doors where Byleth gave the guard a wave of her hand as she turned and ran up the dormitory path. Dimitri stayed on her heels the whole way.

She took corners sharply and slipped through holes in the hopes of losing him but his constant search through the week had given him a good layout of the monastery and the tricks that worked earlier now only slowed him down a little. It would only be a few moments before he was behind her again. For what felt like an hour they ran in a game of cat and mouse.

Desperate she sprinted up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and dashed down the hall. Somewhere in her head she knew she was running into a dead-end. There were only two options left; find a place to hide or figure out a way to get around him so she could get back downstairs.

Hide. Where could she hide? It would have to be a place with a lot of stuff. Maybe the infirmary? No. Hanneman's office? No. No. Hiding wasn't an option. Dimitri would tear every room apart to find her. He hadn't been chasing her for a week just to give up now.

She would have to feint. The meeting room would be best for that. She could keep the table between them, leading him further into the room, and make a break for the door.

Byleth had just made it to the meeting room when something grabbed her coat, causing her to lose her footing and fall backwards. She had closed her eyes in anticipation of the impact that never came and when she looked up she saw Dimitri glaring down from above her as he held her in a dancer's dip. She clung to him on the off-chance that he decided to just let her go so that she wouldn't just slam into the ground.

"Finally, I caught you." Dimitri uttered after a few moments of them both catching their breath. "Now, Answer me. What were you talking about? What did you mean husband? _Who_ is going to die?"

"I can't tell you that. It could change things and I can't allow that to happen."

"You make it sound like you can see the future."

"I can't... I can't _see_ the future but I..."

"Good, you're both here." Gilbert interrupted, pausing in the doorway as he took in the sight of Dimitri holding Byleth as he bent her backwards until she was almost parallel with the floor while both turned their gazes away from the other and towards the knight. He hesitated a moment, unsure if he wanted to continue after seeing something like that, but the importance of the matter pushed him forward, pulling out the letter that had just arrived.

"What is it?" Dimitri demanded as he straightened up, pulling his professor up with him and dragging her along as he moved to inspect the letter, keeping a grip on Byleth's upper arm so she couldn't escape. He eventually let her go to take the letter that was offered.

"We received word from Rodrigue." The knight replied, watching as Dimitri skimmed the letter while the professor sighed. Byleth didn't need to look it over, she knew what it said, and she nearly groaned at what it meant.

They would be heading to Ailell.


	5. Chapter 5

The heat was oppressive.

It was hot and sweaty and they were all miserable. Even Byleth who had been all over Fodlan was almost panting as they marched through the blistering heat. The only one that didn't show any signs of discomfort was Dimitri and Byleth wondered how he was so collected considering that he wore heavy black armor and a thick cloak about his shoulders.

Everyone gave verbal complaints as they finally arrived at the location that they were supposed to meet Rodrigue. Byleth kept her eyes on the horizon where she knew the traitorous army would show up, tuning out the others until she heard Gilbert call to her.

"Professor, be honest. How are you holding up?"

"It's hotter than I remember." She answered without thinking, glancing to them. Byleth figured it was fine to be honest in this. As long as she didn't get too specific then they would all assume it would be when she was a mercenary.

"You've been here before?"

"Once before." She told them, trying not to flinch away from the weight of Dimitri's gaze on her. After Rodrigue's letter had arrived Dimitri hadn't been as persistent in his pursuit of her. He hadn't _completely_ stopped but now it was only if they both managed to be alone together that he would try and corner her, leaving her be as soon as she fled into a place with other people.

Strangely, Byleth missed the attention.

"So you must know the story about this place."

"How it was born of the goddess's rage; That everything in the surrounding area had been burnt to ash by a light from the heavens."

"Yes. That legend fueled belief in a place of torment between our world and the next... where one's sins are purified in the cleansing flames."

"Nonsense. Sins are not so easily washed away." Dimitri growled, gaining everyone's attention.

"Indeed... And there are no accounts of such a place in scripture. Yet those who cannot face their own sins have no choice but to cling to the idea." Gilbert replied and Dimitri fell silent at the implication. Byleth looked up at the ridge that surrounded them and saw the battalion that had been deployed to stop them meeting up with Rodrigue's reinforcements.

"Get ready!" She shouted as she pulled her weapon free with one hand while the other pointed up at the enemies that had appeared to bring the other's attention towards them. "House Rowe's soldiers!"

Their gazes followed her pointing to see the soldier that had gathered along the ridge and followed her lead by pulling their own weapons out.

"There must have been a spy." Gilbert despaired then turned his gaze to Dimitri to see what he would order. "Shall we meet them in battle or wait for Rodrigue to arrive?"

"There is only one option. How kind of them to save us the trouble of killing them later."

"They're led by the Gray Lion. We won't be able to talk our way out of this." Byleth agreed, looking to the others as she shouted out the order. "Prepare for the attack!"

* * *

The battle had been miserable with the heat but even with their lesser troops they had proved to be the superior fighters. Rodrigue and his troops had arrived mid-battle and the tide turned with ease. Dimitri glanced around to gain an idea on where all his 'allies' were located and noticed that his professor was mere feet away.

Dimitri had backed off after Byleth had refused to give him any answers but that hadn't stopped him from watching her; the more he saw the more he was convinced that she knew _something_. For someone who had been asleep for the past 5 years, and had been in basic isolation from society before that, she seemed to know a lot about the people in this war. He had also noticed how Byleth had been scanning the ridge before the Imperial aligned soldiers had arrived.

It was frustrating because it felt like pieces of a puzzle were slowly being put into place but he was still missing something essential to put it all together. He just couldn't see the bigger picture that surrounded her. Not yet.

"You can't _see_ the future..." He murmured, watching as her gaze snapped to him with a wide-eyed stare. That was another change. The subtleties of expression she didn't have before was pronounced and it allowed him to see the surprise that covered her face now. He had noticed that she had started to show some emotional expressions on her face before she had disappeared five years ago but now her face had become so much easier to read. More so than it should have been for someone that had been asleep.

If he wasn't so sure about her integrity, it would have been easy to believe that she had been awake and alive the passed five years and it would not have been much of a stretch to believe her an imperial spy.

He wanted to question her further. He wanted to force her to tell him the things he wanted to know. He wanted to corner her and keep her from escaping him until her secrets became his. He wouldn't, though, because he knew that nothing would come from such things. She could be surprisingly stubborn when she wanted to be. Dimitri and Byleth turned their stares away from each other and towards Rodrigue as he approached them with a smile.

"It's been too long, Your Highness. But try and temper your joy, will you? This is a war, after all."

"To say such a thing at a time like this. You have not changed a bit." Dimitri sighed, glancing at Byleth when she gave a stifled laugh.

"Don't let looks deceive you. I've had a rough go of it ever since I crossed blades with those traitors in Fhirdiad. When I heard you'd been executed, I rushed there as fast as I could, blind with fury. When I got there, I was fed some garbage about not being able to see your body. The next thing I knew, I was gripping my blade and..." Rodrigue paused, took a moment to breathe, and gave a nod to Gilbert when he changed his focus to the knight.

"Gilbert, you have done well to locate His Highness. I am truly grateful." His gaze moved over to Byleth next as he gave her a gentle smile. "And you... I have you to thank, as well."

"I didn't do much. We were just fortunate."

"Still, I will repay you for this someday, I swear it."

"You don't need to." Byleth shrugged off his gratitude, turning her eyes to Felix and Rodrigue followed her gaze, speaking to his son next.

"And you, Felix... You have also done well to bring His Highness here."

Felix gave a scoff but fell silent and Rodrigue turned the conversation away from gratitude and towards the war, finally asking to fight by their side which Felix objected to. He was the only one, though, and Rodrigue followed them with his troops back to Garrag Mach.

* * *

Byleth laid in bed, watching her broken door swing in the evening wind. She had finally convinced the monastery staff that Dimitri wasn't chasing her anymore and that he wouldn't be breaking into her room either. They would be replacing it again tomorrow. It didn't help with the cool night right now, though.

Gilbert, Rodrigue, Dimitri, and Byleth had all decided that they would head east towards the Great Bridge of Myrddin. It wasn't a bad idea and it would lead to something good, if things followed the same path as the last time she had lived through this.

Byleth sat up with a sigh and then stood. She wasn't going to be getting any sleep at this rate so she might as well walk around the monastery and maybe she would meet Rodrigue again. She remembered meeting him last time but she couldn't really recall what they had talked about. Had it been all that important then if she couldn't remember? Or had it simply been overshadowed by all the other events that came before and after?

She found herself in the cathedral, looking at the rubble that had collapsed over the alter. The gentle footfalls that approached her made her aware of his presence before he spoke.

"Even though it's in ruins, in some strange way, this monastery never truly changes, does it?" He asked and she turned her attention to him, letting him continue in the silence that followed his rhetorical question.

"I studied at the Officers Academy when I was young. Those memories come rushing back whenever I return. What are you doing here at this hour, anyway?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"It's the same for me. Perhaps you'll allow me to join you..." He asked, giving a soft smile at her nod. "Much appreciated."

A comfortable silence followed them as they walked through the monastery. Byleth never had a problem with silence. She had learned while she was a mercenary that silence was sometimes essential; to set up an ambush, to keep from walking into an ambush, while scouting, and sometimes just to think.

The best place she found back when she was still running from Dimitri had been the Sacred Tomb. She knew no one else would risk going down there. She found the silence there thick and comforting, like a warm blanket that surrounded her, and she had once thought she had heard Sothis laughing at her. That or it was her own mind breaking from the stress of going back in time and living through the war a second time, losing everything she had once gained.

_You know you cannot change the path of fate by rewinding the hands of time... But I will enjoy watching you try. You have done the impossible before..._

She was alone again when she had opened her eyes and looked around. It could have very well been her own mind giving her an auditory hallucination.

Rodrigue interrupted her introspection with talk about his eldest son, Glenn. Byleth had never met him but from what she had heard from Dimitri and Felix, he seemed to have been an honorable man and a good friend and brother.

"No matter how much you grieve, the dead will never return. No magic in the world can bring them back. That's why their memory clings to the living like a curse. The more they were loved, the tighter their hold, and the more suffering they cause..." Rodrigue spoke softly. He was trying to make a point that Byleth was already aware of. Why Dimitri seemed so determined to make himself into the weapon of vengeance that he thought the dead needed. "I fear I am not a strong enough man to scold His Highness for his foolishness."

"Someone must. I have been trying but..."

"You have been doing better than I... As adults, it is our responsibility to scold him and help him find his way again. I come off as so self-important, but really... I'm just a failure of a man."

Silence spread between them again as Rodrigue fell into thought. Byleth waited for him to make his decision and focus on her again.

"Professor... I entrust the young prince, and the future of Faerghus, to you."

"You sound like you're going off to die." She told him with a sad smile, causing him to laugh.

"I suppose that was a dramatic way of putting it. My apologies. You know, I have no intention of insisting that you take back Fherdiad. All I ask is that you continue to rein in Dimitri's manic desire for revenge."

Byleth opened her mouth to speak but shut it with a clack of teeth when Rodrigue continued speaking about the plan to head towards the bridge, finishing it with a question of if she was afraid.

Byleth hesitated. She was afraid but not for the reasons he may think. She feared the future, of the death that she may have to let happen, of what it could mean for the relationship that was already strained between her and Dimitri. She had her own decision to make here. Dimitri would become a good and honorable king that would bring happiness to all his subjects but a sacrifice had to be made.

Could that sacrifice be her own?

"Are you?"

"A little, yes. Such is the nature of war." He admitted with a nod.

"Perhaps that can be mitigated... a little, at least." Byleth spoke with intent. She had made her decision and she was determined to surprise Sothis. She would change fate.


	6. Chapter 6

They were still on the outskirts of the bridge, waiting for Intel before they attacked. Gilbert had found Byleth and brought her along as he approached Dimitri.

"The scouts have returned. As expected, there are quite a few Imperial soldiers stationed there." He said without preamble and Dimitri gave a sharp exhale of breath that wasn't quite like a laugh.

"I see. So, the enemy has prepared for our arrival... It matters not. I will kill them all, whether they are one or one hundred." Byleth frowned at Dimitri's words. She had thought he had been getting better, away from his viciousness, but then he would say something like this and she would be reminded of his terrible blood-lust and how little she had been able to help thus far.

"Don't say that."

"What would you do, if you saw the people who stole everything from you? If you saw them right before you eyes, living carefree lives and feeling no guilt. Would you feel nothing? Do nothing?" Dimitri ranted, his voice gaining a growl in his anger, and Byleth flinched. She knew what he would bring up next and she didn't really want to hear it. "Five years ago... Did you not deem the woman who killed Jeralt to be unforgivable? I am most certain that you did. You couldn't let her get away with her crime, so you took up your sword in pursuit."

"I didn't drag innocent people into it!"

"Innocent?" Dimitr scoffed, tilting his head back as he looked down at her with a mocking smile. "There are no _innocents _here. Even you have blood on your hands. We are very much the same, you and I."

"You're wasting your time." Felix spoke as he came up to them. He had heard what had been said and he didn't agree. He didn't agree with a lot Dimitri said. "There's nothing to be gained from exchanging words with a boar that has lost it's mind."

"Felix..." Gilbert spoke in a warning tone but Felix predictably ignored him.

"This is _war_. Every last one of us has lost someone we care for. But we all choose to suppress our anger and grief and go right on living. Do you know why?"

Gilbert and Dimitri remained silent and Felix's gaze focused on Byleth. He wanted an answer and she knew that she would have to give it since neither of the other two seemed inclined to.

"Because it doesn't help anyone. The focus should be on the living."

"That's right. All the boar is accomplishing is stacking up more corpses."

"Tell me, Felix... If the dead are beyond reach, is it not also pointless to mourn or even bury those who are lost?" Dimitri asked, causing Felix to scoff.

"Ha. That mind of yours. I'm done here."

"Dimitri." Byleth interrupted before Felix could bring up that it wasn't for Dimitri that everyone was here. That it was mostly apposing the Empire or siding with the church that gave them their troops. There was something fundamentally wrong with what Dimitri had asked that she felt she needed to correct before Felix could side-track her. "Those rights are as much for the living as they are for the dead."

The others fell silent as they all turned their gaze on her to listen to what she had to say.

"It gives us a chance to come to terms with our grief and the fact that the people we love will no longer walk beside us, that they are gone, that we will no longer be able to see or talk to them ever again. If you don't allow yourself to grieve all that pain, all that sorrow, it just builds inside you until there's no room for anything else."

Byleth blinked and looked up at the men who were all staring at her. She hadn't meant to become sentimental nor preachy in her speech but she was sure that was probably how it came across. She knew these feelings well. After her return to the past, the few days after meeting up with the others and driving out the bandits, she had allowed herself to cry, to scream into her pillow yet she still carried the painful weight of her husband's repeated death on her heart.

"My apologies. I didn't mean to get sanctimonious." Byleth shook her head and focused her gaze on Dimitri who was the only one that would know that it wasn't Jeralt's death she had been speaking about. She took a step further and gave him a soft smile. "What I had really wanted to say was that you should be prepared."

"Is this when-?" Dimitri's eyes widened and he held an expression of mild panic as he looked towards the others, wondering which one it was that was supposed to die. Byleth watched his alarm and her smile widened. It was good to know that despite his lust for vengeance he didn't truly want the death of any of his comrades.

"No." She said with a soft laugh, bringing his gaze back to her and ignoring the confused ones of Gilbert and Felix. "Quite the opposite, in fact."

Rodrigue's steps hesitated at the sight of a Byleth smiling at three confused men. He gained their attention when he cleared his throat.

"Our troops are ready whenever you are, Your Highness."

"Shall we then?" The professor asked as she moved to walk by Rodrigue, pausing to give his shoulder a pat and frowned at him. "Rodrigue!"

"Next time, I swear." He told her with a soft laugh, confusing the other three men even more. When questioning eyes met his, he gave a wave of his hand, signaling that he wouldn't explain right then. After all, they had a battle to participate in.

* * *

Byleth followed Dimitri towards an armored knight, his spear coming up to stab forward with a frenzied smile without regard for the other knight that came towards his side, axe at the ready.

"Your Highness!" A shout drew Dimitri's attention as the axe that was swinging for his head was intercepted by another. White hair contrasted against the dark skin of the newcomer that stood between the future king on his impending death.

"D-dedue? You're alive? How?"

"Pay attention!" Byleth shouted as she leapt forward and engaged the enemy Dimitri had forgotten in his shock at finding out that his friend and retainer was still alive. Her sword slipped through the enemies' heavy armor and took his life. "You can ask him about it after the battle is over!"

"She's correct, Your Highness."

"R-right." Dimitri turned back to the focus on the fight to take the bridge. It felt like hours, battles always did, but only took minutes. When most of the Imperial troops were either dead or were retreating Byleth approached Dimitri who was staring hard at the still bodies that surrounded him.

"Idiots. Embracing death for the sake of that woman. Truly foolish..."

"What troubles you?" Byleth asked, watching the expression on his face carefully. He felt concern but he didn't know why. He didn't want to regret killing those who followed Edelgard; they were fools and beasts to him. They had to be or else he would start to feel guilty for their deaths.

"I... I don't know."

"Cheer yourself. Some good has come from today." Byleth smiled, following Dimitri's gaze to where Dedue stood, speaking with Annette and Ashe.

"Right." He gave a nod and moved towards his friend and retainer so that he could question him about how he had managed to survive. Byleth let her eyes wander, trying to see when that woman would show. She was distracted from her search by Rodrigue coming up to her and clearing his throat.

"We should head back to Garrag Mach to discuss our next course of action." She nodded and moved with him to retrieve Dimitri and the others. They were headed back, leaving behind a couple battalions to keep the bridge under their control in case the Empire tried to attack and keep it back.

"Please! I need to join you, no matter the cost!"

"I'm sorry, but my hands are tied..."

Byleth's steps faltered and she fell behind as Rodrigue stepped forward with a scowl for the poor knight that had been trying desperately to turn the girl away.

"By the goddess! What's with all the commotion?" He asked, stepping into the conversation with ease. None of the others seemed to have noticed the girl's shocked expression when her eyes fell on Dimitri standing at Byleth's side. The only reason the professor had was because she had been focused on this girl, recognizing her for the role she would play. "What is this girl doing here? This is an army, not an orphanage."

"I believe she's from a nearby village. She keeps insisting that she needs to join our ranks." The knight answered.

"And you thought we could use a child on the front lines? Hurry up and take her back to her parents."

"My family is gone. I don't have anywhere else to go. Please! I can use magic and I can fight! I can cook, do laundry, anything!" The girl interrupted, a desperate tone raising her voice.

"I'm sure there are plenty of more suitable places to find work. Why are you so fixated on this army, young lady?"

"I need... to get revenge. I must strike down the one who murdered my big brother!" Byleth flinched at the girl's words. This girl's brother had been the general that had marched troops against them at the monastery; the family resemblance was striking. Though she blamed Dimitri, and may have been right to had the professor not stepped in, it had been Byleth that had gotten the final blow.

"Your Highness... What should we do?"

"Let her do as she pleases." Dimitri dismissed, turning his gaze away from her. Byleth wondered if he saw the similarity between her and the General he had threatened to torture? Did he have in inkling on who she wanted revenge on? Or did he just want to indulge her because he was on his own quest for vengeance? That he understood her desire?

"Thank you... very much."

Byleth swallowed thickly at the underlying menace the girl's words held. That fateful event was coming up all too soon and she was not looking forward to it.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been very careful about writing battles mostly because I can't write them very well but also because I wanted to prevent writing about having to fight students from other houses that some people may have recruited.
> 
> This chapter will change that.
> 
> I didn't realize what would happen if I didn't recruit the other students my first play through and I just wanted to SAVE someone.
> 
> Also, I figured with magic being flung about, that healing magic must be pretty effective if no one ends up with permanent disfigurements.
> 
> As always, Enjoy.
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate

"We don't _need_ that many people set up to heal." Gilbert sighed. They stood over a map that Byleth had made of Gronder field that was marked to show where she remembered the Imperial troops and the alliance soldiers would be set up. She had even made suggestions as to potential tactics. Gilbert and Rodrigue had agreed with everything except one part. They had been trying to convince Byleth for the past few hours that they did not need so many people in support roles. Seteth and Dimitri stood aside and silently watched the argument unfold.

Dimitri found it all fairly amusing that this petite woman was standing up to two men who were used to having a lot more authority and respect than she was currently giving them. He was careful to hide that mirth, though.

"It's important that we have that much support." Byleth replied back sharply. She had given the suggestion that they set up Manuela, Mercedes, Flayn and anyone else that were strong in the healing arts to be medics for the battle and her plan even had others, like Annette, to be back-up healers.

"You're crippling our attacking force with this set up!" Rodrigue put in with a slam of his hand on the table and the map that lay on it. The constant circles they had been arguing in had frayed his patience to the point that courtesy was no longer of importance. "We're going to be going against the Imperial army and, from what you said, the alliance may show up as well!"

"Claude won't attack right away. He'll hold back and see how everything goes."

"That doesn't change the fact that we will potentially be facing not one but _two_ armies. This won't be a child's mock battle. There will be _consequences_."

"I _know_ that! That's why this is important!"

"Seteth! Your Highness! Could either of you talk some sense into her?" Rodrigue pleaded but Seteth hesitated. He wasn't sure how he felt about Flayn not only being on the battlefield but doing so in such a vulnerable position. On the other hand, _because_ she would be a healer that meant she would not be on the front lines and would be protected by other units. Seteth could definitely see where Gilbert and Rodrigue were coming from and both were experienced and well-respected but he also felt that there was more to Byleth's plan than she was letting on. Her days as a mercenary helped to lend her words credence. All those points made it hard to support either side.

Dimitri spoke up before Seteth could come to a decision.

"We'll follow the Professor's plan."

"Your Highness-." Rodrigue began only to be cut off by Dimitri reiterating his words with look that bordered on a glare, much to the surprise of the others in the room. They all knew that he had much respect for his father figure he had known his whole life so the fact that he sided so forcefully against him for a professor he had known a little more than a year was telling.

"We will follow the Professor's plan."

"As you command, Your Highness." Rodrigue gave in with a bow, Gilbert following suit. Byleth gave Dimitri a grateful smile for his assistance. She had been surprised by his support since he still hadn't gone through his reformation yet; he hadn't fully changed into the man she knew he could be. It had been a welcomed surprise, though, and it gave her hope.

Dimitri for his part had been watching Byleth and had long since come to the conclusion that she seemed to know more than she should; she had known that Dedue would arrive at the bridge, after all, and he had to trust that she knew what would happen here so he would indulge her whims until she proved herself unreliable.

* * *

Three armies stood on the field of Gronder, facing each other. The Imperial army had already set up on the meadow with a large wooden structure and a ballista mounted at the top manned by a very frightened Bernadetta.

Byleth stared up at her with a determined expression, refusing to let the others see how scared she was. When Dimitri gave the order to 'kill every last one of them' they rushed forward. Ingrid and Ashe had their orders from Byleth to stay by Dimitri's side. His thirst for vengeance would force him to rush at Edelgard and he would need cooler heads to protect his flank. Normally that was Byleth's job, reigning in the future king's recklessness, but she had another goal this time.

Wood creaked under her boots as she rushed up the structure towards Bernadetta who blinked at the resolute professor coming towards her. She quickly focused the balista towards Byleth, pausing her in her steps.

"P-professor?" She called as if to make sure what she was seeing was real. Byleth had come to a halt several feet from the shy girl, casting a quick glance around to check to state of the battle so far. As predicted Dimitri and the others were fighting with the Imperial army while the Alliance sat back; waiting to see how the tides would turn.

"Bernadetta, Come with me." Byleth petitioned holding her hand out towards the girl, frowning when she shrunk further away at the move. "We have to get off this structure."

"N-no, I can't. I have... I have to stay here. This is where I can help Edelgard the most."

"Up here in the middle of this wide field where everyone could see you?" Byleth asked. She didn't want to prey on the shy girl's fears but she was desperate and quickly running out of time. The Kingdom army was making head-way faster than she thought possible with about half their troops as support classes. "Why not come with me to the forest where there's a nice canopy of leaves and walls of trunks."

"I-I can't... I can't. I was ordered..." Bernadetta looked like she was about to cry and it broke Byleth's heart but this was _important_. She had to get Bernadetta off this potential bonfire before Dimitri and the others got passed Hubert and close to Edelgard. She didn't think she could live through the horror again.

She had had nightmares for years of Bernadetta's screams while her skin burned and popped; her eyes ran like tears as they melted and her flesh darkened until it just flaked away.

Never again. Never again would Byleth let that happen.

"Come with me, Bernadetta." Byleth pleaded desperately. "If you don't want to, that's fine. Just turn around and return to the Empire. It doesn't matter, we'll do whatever you want, but we _have_ to get off this structure."

"I was ordered to stay here... I have to stay here." Bernadetta replied with a shake of her head but her expression told Byleth that she wanted to give in, that she wanted to take her hand and leave the whole thing behind, but something was stopping her. Was she that afraid of what would happen to her should she become a deserter?

There was a small sound underneath their feet that was quickly growing into a roar. Byleth gasped and leapt forward to wrap her arms around the frightened girl as the wood groaned and crackled. Fire licked upwards around them, the air heating up rapidly, the edifice starting to bend and break as the lumber burned and blackened.

Byleth kept her arms around Bernadetta who clung to her like the terrified child she was and pulled her along as she raced the growing fire. One of the weakened beams broke under her foot and sent them rolling down the sloping ramp. The blaze surrounded them and only grew in strength with the food from the construct as it began to collapse and Byleth stood, even as the fire blistered her skin, and dragged herself and her student away from the raging flames.

"Professor!" Several people called as she fell upon the grass that felt like needles against her scorched skin, shooting pain from each individual point. Byleth looked towards the person she clung to that was much too still.

"Bernadetta?" She called despite how raw and painful her throat felt. She moved her arm a little to jostle the girl, ignoring the pain it caused herself. Sorrow threatened to drown her as she watched the purple-haired girl's body lay completely still in her arms. She wanted to cry but tears hurt. Breathing hurt. Laying there hurt. Everything _hurt_; especially her heart. Had she failed again? Had she been unable to save her? Did that mean she was unable to save anyone? Would Rodrigue and Dimitri die all the same?

Tears ran down her cheeks despite the sting they left in their wake as they traced trails across her face. Byleth didn't pay much mind to the people that surrounded her.

"Bernadetta..." She croaked, gasping when she felt movement in her embrace.

She was alive. Bernadetta was still alive. She had done it. _She had saved someone_.

Byleth smiled as she the darkness of unconsciousness welcomed her.

* * *

Pain greeted her first as she slowly awoke. Sound came next but it took a lot longer for her brain to interpret the words that were being said.

"She still needs a lot of rest. The burns had been severe but because she had received help so quickly she should make a full recovery." Manuela's voice seemed too loud in the quiet stillness as she explained her patient's condition. Byleth wondered how long she had been out. "But she shouldn't strain herself too quickly. She had blisters all over her body and parts of her clothes had melted to her body. Bernadetta got off lightly with only minor burns. Professor Byleth had protected her with her own body."

"I see." Byleth was surprised to hear Dimitri's voice and even more so when she heard the subtle rustle of cloth as he approached her bedside. She evened her breathing and feigned sleep. She didn't know why she felt such a need but it proved fruitful when she felt the cool touch of Dimitri's fingers brush against her too hot skin of her forehead. It took her a moment to realize that he wasn't wearing his normal gloves.

"Foolish." He spoke softly after a long silence. Since no one answered him or asked him about what he had said, Byleth figured they were alone. "Truly foolish, letting yourself get hurt for another's life... But I suppose your generosity is one of your good points."

She felt his presence hovering over her, as if he was leaning over and she struggled to keep her breathing even. For a moment she thought he might kiss her but then he pulled away and the sound of his steps faded as he retreated. She thought she heard him murmur 'get better quickly' as he walked away but she might have been mistaken.

Without the distraction of Dimitri's company, the pain of her burns came rushing to the forefront. She was keenly aware of the feel of scratchy fabric of the blanket over her or the hardness of the bed she lay on. It hurt. It all hurt. It also felt like heat was spilling from her skin in waves that pulsed with her pain.

Byleth sighed and dealt with the ache. It was a small price to pay for the life of another.

Manuela had said that Byleth had been lucky that the healers had gotten to her fast enough but Dimitri had been there. He had seen how it had drained each one of them to exhaustion as they spent their magic to keep the professor alive and to heal her and Bernadetta's wounds. The only reason she would make a full recovery was because of her foresight to insist on having that many healers, standing up to Rodrigue and Gilbert who both had more experience in life. Byleth had something more, though; She seemed to know the future. The more Dimitri saw the more he was convinced of that.

He didn't know what to feel about his Professor knowing the future. There was still too much he didn't know. She said that she couldn't _see_ the future so how was it that everything she said came true?

His feelings were mixed. He wanted to hate her for keeping so many secrets; for manipulating everyone and everything to go the way she desired.

He had wanted to hate her but when he had heard everyone scream, when he had seen her burning, when he had seen her laying still on that field he knew that it was not hate he felt.


	8. Chapter Eight

"Deaths!" Byleth shouted suddenly, startling Manuela into almost dropping the bottle she was carrying. The physician turned to stare at the woman who had yelled out with a disapproving frown for scaring her half to death and for putting strain on a throat that was still raw from smoke damage.

"What?"

"Were there any deaths?!" Byleth asked with urgency, ignoring how her voice was harsh and her throat painful when she spoke. She had been on a basic diet of soups and laudanum for the pain and was only recently weaned off of it. No longer in a drugged stupor she had woken in surprise to see the familiar surroundings of her room and then panic had settled in. That was when she had screamed out. She now stared at Manuela with her heart in her throat.

"No, You protected Bernadetta, taking most of the damage yourself. She's resting in her room currently." Manuela explained with a sigh as she readjusted her grip on the jar. She had just finished applying it to the professor's wounds, the smell of aloe heavy in the room.

Byleth stared up at the songstress blankly, letting the meaning of her words to sink slowly in.

"No one died?"

"No, everyone's safe." Manuela assured with a smile. "Now you rest here. It'll take at least another week for your wounds to finish healing."

Her attention brought to her wounds Byleth realized that the burned skin that had been blistered and pocked was now a pinkish-red and stung like a harsh sunburn when the cloth of her blanket and chemise, that was working as a hospital gown since her own clothes had been burned or cut off, brushed against the newly healed skin.

What had changed? Why hadn't that village girl attacked Dimitri? If Byleth was remembering correctly Fleche had stabbed him after Gronder field when they had been on their way back to the monastery but if Manuela had thought that she had been talking about Bernadetta then that meant that Dimitri hadn't been attacked nor had Rodrigue died.

That meant there was still time.

Byleth gripped the blanket as she waited while Manuela dallied around the room as she gave instructions; Stay in bed, drink alot of fluids, apply the aloe frequently so the skin stays moist. She was going to wait until the other woman had left and then she would escape her room at the first chance she got. Byleth figured that if and when Manuela found out that she wasn't resting like she was supposed to that the songstress would probably chase her down. She was also sure that the physician wasn't nearly as determined as Dimitri had been when he had given chase some months earlier and so she would be much easier to evade.

The minutes ticked by and Byleth's leg twitched as her impatience grew. She didn't know what had changed to put off the attack on Dimitri but every second stuck in her room was a second that wasn't spent searching for the potential murderer. The door finally clicked close as Manuela stepped out and Byleth waited a few precious minutes to ensure that the physician was well and truly gone before throwing the covers off and slipping out of bed. She stumbled briefly from the stiffness in her body that came with her wounds and laying in bed for who knew how long; a week? Two? More?

She looked for something to wear other than her chemise, finding an old academy uniform to wear instead even though there was no one else that had the uniform on. Not since the Imperial army started the war five years earlier. Her body stung as the cloth settled over the burned skin but she ignored it for the urgency of the task ahead of her.

No one she asked seemed to know where Dimitri had disappeared to and Byleth ran on, through the halls. Her whole body ached from her fresh reddish skin to the muscles that hadn't been stretched properly to her lungs that labored under damage from the smoke she had inhaled. She ignored her pain as she ran, pausing with a gasp when she came across Rodrigue walking in the entrance hall.

"Have you seen Dimitri?" She asked between pants, trying desperately to catch her breath. Normally after such a major injury one would take their time getting back on their feet, adjusting to the movements needed for daily life and then training for battle, but she didn't have time for that. She didn't know how much time she had before the girl decided to do what she didn't on their way back to Garrag Mach but she had to make sure that nothing bad was going to happen.

Last time Dimitri had been stabbed he had just sat there while Fleche had ranted at him without resisting or fighting back, as if he had given up and was waiting for his death. It was only Rodrigue's intervention that had save Dimitri in more ways than one.

"I saw him in the court yard earlier. That girl that joined us a couple months ago, Fleche was her name I believe, asked to speak with him." Rodrigue answered with a small laugh, figuring that the girl was probably going to confess some feelings of affection for the dreary king. His impression changed as soon as he saw the alarmed expression on the professor's face.

"Where?"

"What is it?"

"Where are they?!" Byleth asked again, ignoring how Rodrigue's stance and face were growing concerned and leaping over his question entirely. "Where did they go?!"

"Towards the gazebo but what-." Rodrigue fell silent as Byleth dashed off, leaving him there with his questions, running out towards the Gazebo just as she saw the knife that the girl carried dig into Dimitri's stomach. The shock of it froze Byleth in her spot and stopped her breath in her throat. Memories of that dreadful night replayed in front of her eyes as Dimitri sat on his knees before the laughing woman. It didn't appear that he was going to defend himself this time either.

No. No. She couldn't let this happen. She had to do something! Byleth ran forward with a shout.

"Dimitri!"

"Your Highness!" With longer legs and unburdened by wounds, Rodrigue raced past Byleth and between Dimitri and the knife that was about to take his life. The blade dug through Rodrigue's clothes down to the hilt.

"NO!" Byleth and Dimitri screamed at the same time. Something heavy and hard weighed in her hand and Byleth realized she was holding the Sword of the Creator. When had it gotten there? Had she grabbed it on her way out of her room? She couldn't remember picking it up.

Where was her dagger when she needed it?

Byleth moved forward and slammed the hilt of her sword against the girl's temple and prayed that the girl would be alright as she crumpled to the ground with a groan. She stared at Dimitri holding Rodrigue, begging him not to die, while holding back her own tears.

She failed. She had tried to prevent this and she had failed. She had talked Rodrigue in wearing mail under his clothes that night she had met him in the cathedral, checking that he had it on before each battle by patting him either on the shoulder or on the back, scolding at him whenever she found him without it. She never insist that he wear the armor at the monastery because, other than the initial Imperial attack, there had never been any danger at Garrag Mach. Something had changed, though, and she didn't know what.

"_YOU!_" Byleth was dragged out of her internal rumination by Dimitri's angry voice as he glared up at his professor. He stepped over Rodrigue's motionless body and grabbed her upper arms to keep her from running away as he raged. "You knew this would happen!"

"No, no, it wasn't supposed to be like this!"

"You could have stopped this! Why? Why were you so determined to see death?"

"Why are _YOU?!_" Byleth screamed as everything crashed over her. She was in pain, Dimitri was mad at her and possibly hated her, and she had failed to prevent Rodrigue's death. Her frustration overcame her and she managed to shrug off his grip so she could push at him unsuccessfully. He was solid and unmoving and she felt it was a perfect representation of their whole relationship since she had accidentally thrown herself back in time. Her pushing at Dimitri's current standards and him immobile in his choices. "This is as much you as it is me! You just stood there and let her stab you! This is why your obsession with revenge is no good because you stop caring about yourself even when there are still so many people that care about you!"

Byleth glared up at Dimitri who somehow managed to keep his face fairly even in expression though he stared down at her, letting her yell at him while he remained silent.

"I _knew_ it was coming and I tried to prevent it but I failed! Are you _happy_ now?! I _tried_ and I _failed_! I'm a failure! I couldn't save him then, I couldn't save him now, I couldn't save my father, and I couldn't save you! I can't save anyone! I'm a failure!"

_Don't cry!_ Byleth told herself desperately as her eyes stung and her vision blurred. _Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't CRY!_

"Fated... She said that some deaths were fated... I couldn't believe that because if that was true, if I couldn't save him, then that means that no matter what I did I wouldn't be able to save you... and I can't... I can't just..." Sobs broke her speech and everything in her begged her to run away, to hide the tears that were now flowing in burning streaks across her face. She didn't want to garner sympathy by crying or being pathetic. She had just wanted to explain. She figured he already knew, or had a strong idea, about her powers so she no longer felt like hiding them. She just wanted to let him know that she had tried to prevent Rodrigue's death. She hadn't wanted to ruin Dimitri and Felix's happiness for her own. Dimitri sighed and his hand lifted as if he was reaching for her even as she finished in a harsh undertone. "Knowing the future doesn't always mean you can change it."

"So that's what this is all about." A voice interrupted, startling Dimitri and Byleth into whirling around and staring at a man they both had supposed dead pulling himself into a seated position. "Both of you have been acting strangely lately. I admit I have been curious as to why."

"Y-you're alive?" Dimitri asked in an awed and disbelieving tone. Rodrigue looked up at the two of them as they stared down at him in shock.

"Your professor can be quite insistent." The older man told them with a half-laugh as he moved to the torn cloth so they could see the sparkle of a chainmail shirt. "I just made it a habit to put it on in the morning so I would stop forgetting."

"...nk...ess..." Byleth breathed as she sunk to the ground in relief. "Thank the Goddess. You're alive... Thank the Goddess..."

"I do believe we have alot to talk about, us three." Rodrigue told them as he got to his feet, moving towards the two. It was kind of amazing, really, that they hadn't been interrupted by anyone walking and confused by the yelling between the professor and the future king.

"Dimitri's hurt. He needs to go to the Infirmary." Byleth pointed out as she wiped at her face, getting to her feet stiffly. She had pushed herself physically and emotionally and she was suddenly so tired and sore.

"I'll be fine."

"You were stabbed. You can't just let it be."

"You _both_ need to go see Manuela. You, professor, haven't healed fully yet and have pushed yourself too far. I may have a bruise but I'm otherwise fine." Rodrigue scolded as he moved closer to the two. "We can speak after you both have been looked after."

"Do mind getting Sylvain, then?" Byleth asked much to the surprise of the two men. "We can't just leave her here."

"I had almost forgotten that she was here, honestly." Rodrigue admitted as three pairs of eyes fell to the unconscious woman lying in the grass. "And I was stabbed by her."

"You were _almost_ stabbed. Dimitri _was _stabbed." Byleth pointed out; causing Rodrigue to laugh and Dimitri to give a heavy sigh.

"I will make sure the professor makes it to the infirmary while you retrieve Sylvain. You can meet us in the infirmary and we can speak then." Dimitri ordered before leaning down towards Byleth. She held her hand out, thinking that he was going to pull her to her feet, but instead his arms moved around her back and under her knees as he pulled her up into a princess carry, much to Byleth's embarrassment.

"I-I can walk."

"Doubtful." Was all Dimitri gave to Byleth's weak protest as he strode calmly away with a grown woman in his arms as if he hadn't had a blade in his side minutes earlier. Rodrigue had been quickly forgotten as the professor tried to wiggle free of Dimitri's strong grip with little success.

* * *

"There you are!" Manuela nearly shouted but was then paused by the sight of the red-faced Byleth in the prince's arms, smiling slyly and deciding that she would go easy in her scolding.

Until she learned that Dimitri was also injured.

The two remained silent while the physician yelled at them and patched them up, patting Byleth's pinkly burned skin since _she_ was supposed to be the mature adult.

After a serious reprimand, Rodrigue arrived and took charge of the two, giving Manuela leave to go get a drink. He waited until they were alone to turn to the two young adults.

"Now, let's talk."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, Time for the big talk.
> 
> Originally I didn't mean for Rodrigue to find out about any of this and he wasn't supposed to be a part of this talk but because I had forgotten about when Fleche attacks Dimitri I messed up my own timeline and had to improvise.
> 
> So... Now Rodrigue gets to be in on the secret too. Yay?
> 
> Also, there's some spoilers that you only find out in the other routes so... If you've only done the Blue Lion route; buyer beware?
> 
> Despite my mistake, please enjoy.
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate

"Now, Let's talk." Rodrigue closed the door to the infirmary and moved a chair against it that he sat in to block the entrance way and keep anyone from simply walking in. He crossing his arms as he looked at the two who were sitting next to each other on the other side of the room; his gaze focusing on Byleth since she was the mystery.

"I... I'm not sure where to start." She began as she wrung her hands together.

"How about when you mentioned knowing the future?" The older man prompted with a half-shrug. Dimitri remained silent at Byleth's side but his gaze wasn't on the slim woman sitting beside him but on Rodrigue. Somehow it felt to her that whatever happened he would defend her and that gave her courage, even if it was a self-delusion.

"I don't really _know _the future. I can't _see_ it either. It's just that there are some events that that I roughly know how they will unfold but, just like today, things could change from what I remember."

"From what you remember?"

"She's lived through all this before." Dimitri spoke up, startling Byleth. She whipped her gaze to him but he was still focused on Rodrigue who had a similar look of surprise on his own face.

"You knew?"

"I figured it out." He replied to her question. He hadn't known for sure until she had yelled at him. The last puzzle piece had fallen into place when she had said that just because one knew the future didn't mean that they could change it.

"Please explain what you mean. You've lived through this before?" Rodrigue asked. He hadn't had the opportunity that Dimitri had to look for clues and thus was a lot less able to see the whole picture.

"Well..." Byleth began then hesitated. What could she say? Did she have to explain everything that will happen? Perhaps she should just start with her power? That might be easiest, even though she couldn't really prove it. "I have the ability to turn back the hands of time a few minutes. An hour if I really try but it's draining. I had only normally used it in battle when an enemy made an unexpected move and... and managed to kill someone. I also tried when my father died but... but I couldn't save him. Sothis said-."

"Sothis?" Rodrigue repeated in astonishment, one of his brows raising in silent question.

"Oh, yes... I, uh... This is a really long story."

"We've got time."

"Right..." Byleth looked down at her hands. She had managed to wheedle the whole story from Seteth and Rhea last time and she had told her husband Dimitri but no one else. She knew that _her_ Rhea, Seteth, and Flayn would never abandon her, they thought of her as another part of their family, and Dimitri had assured her that no matter what she was, he would love her.

She didn't know how anyone else would react, though. Would they think her a freak? Would she ruin the little bit of friendship she had managed to cultivate with this Dimitri? Would they keep her secret here with them, behind closed doors? Or would they tell everyone and ensure that she could never have a normal friendship again?

"I... was stillborn." Byleth began with a heavy sigh. Knowing Dimitri's determination, if not Rodrigue's, meant that there was no way she could get out of this without explanation. She didn't need to look up to know that Dimitri had twisted so he could look at her with her confession. "My mother was..."

No, that wasn't something they needed to know. They had no right to the knowledge that her mother wasn't human but instead a creation of Rhea's own making. Nor the fact that her father Jeralt had been given the blood of Seiros after a fatal wound he had received. They only needed to know about _her_.

"My mother wasn't strong enough to survive the birth and, apparently, neither was I. Lady Rhea, given the last wish by my mother to save me, planted the Flame crest in my heart. Somehow that managed to bring me back but not... without consequence. I have no heartbeat." Byleth looked up to Dimitri; meeting his shocked expression with a carefully even one of her own.

"How is that possible?" Rodrigue asked in a soft voice but he didn't expect an answer and none were given. Byleth instead held a hand out towards Dimitri, palm up, and after a brief moment of hesitation he covered it with his own. She slowly drew his hand towards her and pressed his palm flat against the middle of her chest where her heart would lay and they were silent while Dimitri confirmed her statement.

"It's true..." He breathed, his wide eyed-stare meeting her gaze with astonishment. Byleth gave him a sad smile that grew a bit in strength when Dimitri didn't pull his hand from hers and she didn't bother to let it go.

"According to my father's journal I never cried or laughed. Perhaps you remember when I first arrived? How I was so hard to read?" Byleth asked Dimitri and he gave a slight nod to confirm her words for Rodrigue. "I had been like that all my life. I felt emotions but they... weren't like others. They weren't even like how I feel them now. They were... muted. Dull.

"How do I explain? It would be like living off the scent of a meal that everyone else gets to fully taste and enjoy. You get the idea of it but you cannot know how it _really_ tastes until you eat a little for yourself. That was what the emotions I felt were like; a shadow of what the real things were. My whole life was like that until..."

"Until?" Dimitri prompted. Rodrigue realized that they had seemed to have forgotten him but he found that he didn't mind. The tender hand-holding between the two gave him a slight hope for the future and he also figured that Byleth would probably be a lot more forthcoming to Dimitri than she would to others. It was a sense he got from watching the two interact now and previously.

"Until the night I met you and the other house leaders. That was the first time Sothis spoke to me. That was the first time I was able to turn back time."

Silence filled the room as Byleth looked up to Dimitri with a meaningful expression. He frowned as he studied her face, gasping slightly when he understood.

"When you defended Edelgard?"

"Yes." Byleth nodded, giving a slight laugh as she remembered Sothis' scathing lecture. "I was going to be struck down by the bandit after I had leapt between him and Edelgard. Sothis yelled at me for my foolishness and then taught me how to turn back the hands of time. That was the first time."

"You really hear the voice of the Goddess?"

"I did but not anymore. Not since she and I merged."

"When your hair and eye color changed." Dimitri stated, his free hand lifting as if he was going to take a lock of hair between his fingers but stopped half-way, letting his hand drop. Byleth didn't let the slight disappointment she felt show, comforting herself with the fact that he hadn't pulled his other hand from her grip. She figured that she would enjoy the little bit of physical affection she could get now since she was sure that she wouldn't be able to in the future. Whatever feelings that had grown in Dimitri the last time she had lived through this war was certainly differently now, she was certain, so she was determined to enjoy what she could while she could.

"The war came to an end. We had won. I do hope you will understand when I say that I cannot say what will happen after that. I have made too many changes so it's possible that nothing that I remember after the war will come to be. But suffice to say that I was happy. We were all happy."

"Then how are you here now?" Rodrigue asked, startling Byleth who had started to get lost in thoughts of blissful memories. She looked up at him and hesitated, her grip on Dimitri's hand tightening into an vice-like hold. She steadied herself as she readied to reveal personal and traumatic memories. It would be the first time she had really spoken of that night since.

"...Something terrible... Something terrible happened. I tried to stop it. I rewound time so many times... and then... I don't know, I woke up just outside Garrag Mach a few months ago, the same time I woke up last time."

"What happened?" Rodrigue pressed, watching with some fascination as Byleth's expression closed as she withdrew inward. Her reaction drew his curiosity as he wondered what could have been so horrible that she refused to talk about it. He opened his mouth to ask again but was interrupted by Dimitri.

"We should probably leave the conversation there for now. It's getting late and the Professor isn't fully healed yet."

"Of course. Forgive me for keeping you for so long." Rodrigue spoke as he stood and dragged the chair back to it's original spot. He gave the two of them a slight bow and turned to leave them for the night. Dimitri waited until they were alone to voice his suspicions.

"That was the night I died." Byleth sighed and nodded; giving him the answer to his question that had been voiced as a statement. He looked down at the woman who was still sitting at his side, her eyes downcast, and watched her expression darken further when he pulled his hand from hers, only to surprise her by wrapping his arm around her shoulders so he could encourage her to lean against him and use his shoulder as a pillow. "You should rest. You must be tired."

A companionable silence filled the air between them as Byleth's stiffness eased and she settled herself further against him. She felt at peace in his presence but that wasn't unusual. She had always been comfortable in his presence even before their marriage so it wasn't much of a stretch that she should feel the same with his younger self.

Her heart hurt as a thought made it's way into her mind. _If only it would last._

* * *

Dimitri sat stiffly. He heard the soft even breathing that proved Byleth was dozing and he feared that the slightest movement would wake her. She had fallen into slumber so quickly he was almost amazed she hadn't fallen asleep mid-sentence during their talk earlier.

When he had raised enough courage, which he had never thought he had lacked until now, Dimitri shifted so he could first drag the sleeping woman into his lap, waiting a few moments to see if she would wake up. When she stayed asleep he carefully stood with her in his arms, holding his breath when she shifted only to let it out in a soft sigh as Byleth only sunk herself further into his grasp, her head on his shoulder as she buried her face into the side of his throat.

He felt the soft puff of her breaths against his neck and his pulse quickened as the feel of it brought a fire to his blood but he quickly squashed the burn as he strode across the room and out the door; he wouldn't allow himself to fantasize on something that may never happen.

Though holding her in his arms and feeling her warmth certainly made him _want_. Dimitri carried her to her room, settling her in her bed without so much as a whimper from her, and paused at her door to cast one more glance at the sleeping woman. There was much that he had to make up for, his treatment of the professor and his fellow classmates being one of them, but he also felt courage in the thought that whatever may come he would have a reliable ally in the professor.


	10. Chapter 10

Byleth woke to the soothing coolness of the aloe lotion being massaged into the areas where she had been burned. Her eyes found Mercedes humming as she applied the medicine to Byleth's pinkened skin. She paused and smiled at the woman in bed when she noticed that she was awake.

"Oh, Professor! Good morning! I'm surprised to see you awake after all this time."

"Time?" Byleth asked, coughing to get the scratchiness of a long sleep out of her voice.

"Yes, you've been asleep all week."

"A week?!" Byleth shouted and struggled to sit up, stopping when Mercedes pushed her shoulders to force her to lay back down. "Mercedes, what happened while I was out?"

"His Highness Dimitri apologized to everyone and then said we were going to take Fhirdiad." Mercedes answered as she turned back to her task in hand. "Everyone was surprised by his change of heart. He said it was thanks to You and Rodrigue."

"I didn't do anything..." Byleth murmured and focused her gaze on the ceiling of her room. She figured that since Rodrigue hadn't died, she didn't have to intervene to keep Dimitri from riding off to Enbarr in his rage and despair, but she hadn't expected him to overcome his demons on his own. She was proud of him but also a little sad that she had missed his self-improvement.

"I wouldn't say that. You've been extremely encouraging for him." Mercedes replied. She lifted Byleth's arm to inspect the skin. "Professor Manuela has said that you should be able to return to normal activity in a day or two. I've been so surprised. You've been healing really quickly. Your skin had been burnt black and had to be scrubbed off and now-."

Mercedes smiled and poked the pinkish skin of Byleth's arm. She could feel the sensation but there wasn't any pain.

"It doesn't hurt."

"That's great!" Mercedes' grin widened at her professor and finally released her arm, giving a slight giggle as she thought back on the events that had happened after the battle of Gronder field. "Everyone has been so worried about you; Even his highness Dimitri. It was so sweet how he kept hovering while we traveled back to the monastery. Manuela had to chase him out of the infirmary tent a few times."

"Wait, what?" Byleth looked to Mercedes who was giving her a knowing smile. Mercedes had an air about her that made one think her sweet and innocent but she had an uncanny understanding of a person's nature. Her smile was because she thought that Byleth was starting to understand that Dimitri felt more for her than he did the others. Byleth's surprise was _not_ for the reason that Mercedes thought.

_Was that the change?_ Byleth thought as her hands gripped her sheets. The reason Fleche hadn't attacked Dimitri before was because he had been around people, specifically support medics, so she had had to improvise; getting him alone at the monastery. All because Byleth had planned to save Bernadetta. All because she had been hurt. What other changes would occur because of her decisions and actions?

Mercedes studied the professor's expression, seeing something other than what she had expected, and sighed. She had to wonder why it was that the two people involved couldn't see what had been obvious to everyone else for at least a month now. Perhaps it was because they were too close to it? Unable to see the forest for the trees?

"Well, I should get going. Professor Manuela said that you're to stay here for at least one more day. You can return to teaching tomorrow, now that you're awake." Mercedes said as she stood and brushed off her lap. "I'll let everyone know that you're up. We've all been worried."

"Thank you Mercedes."

* * *

Dimitri stood frozen in front of the door, a basket in hand. Shadows lengthened and the sky dyed red and purple with the setting sun.

_Knock. Just knock. _Dimitri told himself. He had been worried when they had realized that the professor wouldn't wake and he wanted to see for himself that she was alright. Seteth and Flayn insisted that she was fine, that she would awaken on her own in due time, but he had still been plagued by worry especially since he had been the last one to have seen her awake after their talk. He felt like he should have noticed something wrong with her; otherwise why else would she have fallen into a coma? A week asleep couldn't be anything _other_ than a coma... right?

There was also another reason he had come. A couple of her words had stuck in his mind since the first month and he felt like he should finally act on it now that he felt better about himself; that he could offer her more than cruelty. Over the past few months the voices that had plagued him for five years had eased. He still heard them but they no longer had the hold over him that they once did. He felt like he could live; that he could be something more than a weapon of revenge for the dead. He wanted to be more than that. He wanted to be more for _her_.

They had argued a lot over the past few months and he worried that that had ruined whatever chances he had. Dimitri knew how easily hearts could change.

He took a deep breath and lifted his hand to knock once he had silently talked up his courage, pausing when the door opened. He stood there, hand raised, and stared at the professor who looked just as surprised as he felt. The silence between them slowly became awkward as it stretched on and Dimitri felt heat rising in his face. It took everything in him not to run away now.

Byleth's eyes fell on the basket and Dimitri realized he had the perfect opening.

"I thought you might be hungry. I brought food." He held the basket up and wondered at how his heart quickened at the dazzling smile she gave. How was it that he never noticed just how bright and beautiful it was?

A quick search through his memories of the past few months revealed to him that the reason was because she had never smiled like that. Not to him. Her smiles had been small, brief, and easily stolen by a harsh word. Another regret. He had been hoarding a lot of regrets lately.

"Thank you. Would you like to come in? We can eat together." Byleth suggested and Dimitri nodded, moving inside when Byleth stepped aside. She moved the little nightstand and the desk chair beside the bed then proceeded to sit on one side of the table while motioning towards the chair on the other for Dimitri to sit. He set the basket down and started pulling out the food he had brought for her. As he arranged it all on the little bed-side table he realized that he had brought a lot more than one person could possibly eat by themselves.

Well, Byleth might be able to. He had seen her eat several lunches in a row, each with different students, and at every party she always managed to really put the food away.

They ate in relative silence that managed to hover near awkward while still somehow being comfortable.

Dimitri was the first to break it.

"If you don't mind... may I ask how many times?" He asked, staring at her with a carefully even expression so she wouldn't guess what he was thinking. He clarified his question at her obvious confusion. "How many times did I die?"

He almost regretted the question as soon as he had asked it. The stricken expression on her face told him that this would not be an easy conversation for either of them.

"I-I don't know." Silence came between them until Byleth sighed and closed her eyes. He was confused by her actions until she started speaking again. "We were in bed for the night in Fhirdiad, just talking. You rolled on top of me."

Something she couldn't quite place told her to open her eyes and she did, the pale green orbs widening at the sight of the blush that painted Dimitri's cheeks. Byleth struggled to restrain her smile. She had forgotten how adorable his bashfulness was.

"We were married. It wasn't that shocking."

"Of course." Dimitri coughed and gave a wave of his hand to motion that Byleth continue. She gave him a small smile and closed her eyes again. It was easier to remember that way. Her smile fled as quickly as it came as she remembered that night.

"You rolled on top of me. Then you died. Stabbed through the back. That was the first time. I rewound time. The second time I let you know that someone was in the room and you began to reach for Areadbhar. You died. I rewound time. I grabbed my sword. A blade hits my shoulder. I swung. They came back. You were there. You died. I rewound time. I tossed the blanket. A blade sliced through it easily. You pushed me out of the way. You died. I rewound time."

Dimitri swallowed thickly as he listened to Byleth list off all the ways he had died. It was tough just hearing it, especially when the emotion of that night, those many deaths, weighed on Byleth and her voice strained with the effort to keep speaking. Even behind closed eyes tears began to form, a few slipping free and racing down her cheek, while her hands were held in a white-knuckle fist that shook with every word.

"I grabbed my sword. I swung. There was a clash. A flash. I couldn't see. You were there. You died. I rewound time. I rolled over you to grab Areadbhar. I blocked the attack. It came again. You leapt on the intruder. A scuffle. The intruder was wounded but you died. I rewound time."

Dimitri noticed the pattern. Each of his deaths had been because he had been protecting Byleth, taking the fatal hit himself to keep her safe. It wasn't funny but he wanted to laugh because that sounded like him; throwing his life away for someone he loved. He remained quiet, though, and listened to Byleth recount the many ways she tried to save him. Her words were gaining a strain as she continued through the difficult sorrow that threatened to drown her. How many times had she said he had died? Seven? Eight?

"I grabbed my sword. I swung. I swung and swung. I couldn't stop. I had to be sure. I couldn't let you die again. I _couldn't_." Her breathing was rapid and her words were halting as she worked to keep the sobs from breaking up her words. "I killed him. I saved you. I killed him and saved you. So why? _Why?_ Why did you die? Why did someone else come and take you away?!"

"Hey, hey, It's over. It's done." Dimitri soothed as he moved from his chair to sit on the bed beside her and pull her into a hug. His touch broke whatever dam had been holding her tears back and she sobbed as she clung to him. He felt awkward, he wasn't very good at dealing with people who were crying, but he knew he couldn't leave her like this. He had been the one to bring it up after all. His own damn curiosity had caused this. He should be used to it, though, since the people he cared about only ever seemed to get hurt around him.

She deserved better.

"I owe you an apology." He murmured after she had cried herself dry and her sobs had quieted to the occasional hiccup. She stayed strangely still as she waited to find out why he felt that he had to say sorry. "I shouldn't have asked."

"No. If anyone should know, It's you. Besides, fair is fair."

"Fair is fair?"

"You've told me about your past; about what happened in Duscur, remember?" Byleth responded as she pulled back enough to grab a napkin and wipe her face with it. She was sure her face was a mess after crying her despair out. She felt better after her purge, though. She had cried during her first month of her return to the past but it had been short and quiet so as not to worry anyone. It hadn't been as satisfying. It didn't release the stress and sorrow that had built up like this.

Dimitri's presence did wonders to help soothe the traumatic wound on her heart.

Byleth looked up at Dimitri, ready to thank him for hearing her out and supporting her in her lancing of the emotional injury, but paused when she realized that she recognized the expression on his face. He was closing himself off; readying to retreat. She knew it from the few times that he had a terrible day that he didn't want to burden her with.

She remembered the day that she had managed to wiggle some time off and gone to Fhirdiad to spend a few days with Dimitri between his reform work. He had returned with the same shuttered look he was bearing now. She had been worried about him then and had pestered him to tell her what had happened causing him to snap and yell at her. The shock they had both felt after had been enough to release him from his inward spiral. He had apologized profusely and explained what had him in such a mood: a building that had been damaged during the war was being repaired but something had gone wrong. Maybe the foundation had been weakened or a wall they didn't know was damaged finally failed but whatever the cause, it had collapsed and trapped almost everyone inside. Many of them had been recovered but others...

Dimitri had told her about how after hours of moving rubble he held the body of a child no older than 10 as he died in his arms.

Byleth was dragged out of her memories at movement by her side and she reacted more on instinct than on actual thought; grabbing Dimitri's arm to keep him there beside her. His gaze fell on her and she knew that she had made the correct decision.

"Why are you leaving?" She asked him. Dimitri didn't reply but she had a good idea as to why. "Tears are not always a bad thing. I needed this release. So don't leave me. Please."

She was surprised by Dimitri's hug, his grip almost crushing, but she didn't complain as she returned it with all her strength. Shared pain was easier to carry and Dimitri had been burdened by his a lot longer than she had been by hers. Byleth didn't know how long they stayed that way but the darkness of the night was thick when they finally pulled apart. She had to stumbled around in the dark briefly to find and light a candle, placing it on the nightstand before returning to her seat next to Dimitri. She so desperately wanted to hold him again but restrained herself. There was a chance that things would change, that he would come to love someone else, and she refused to chain him to her by forcing her feelings on him. She wanted him to have the freedom of choice.

They sat in silence, simply watching the flicker of the candlelight playing on the walls. She felt that the darkness that had overtaken Dimitri earlier had faded so if he moved to leave now she wouldn't stop him. She had just been desperate earlier because she had the feeling that if left on his own he would wallow and drown in his own despair. Just as he helped her, she wanted to help him.

"Professor." Byleth was suddenly aware of just how close they were, her nose almost brushing his when she turned her head to face him. When had he gotten so close? "May I ask something?"

"Of course."

Dimitri's heart thundered against his ribs as he considered his question. Would it be inappropriate? Would he be stepping over a line? The words from that first month that had stuck with him had been repeated again this night. They had been married. That meant she had accepted whatever proposal he had made in that other timeline. Doubt plagued him and he hesitated. It had taken him enough courage already just to knock on her door originally.

"Dimitri?"

"Professor, did you love your husband?"

What? How could he ask that of her? She had just made up her mind to let him live his life and have his feelings grow naturally, even if it was for someone else. It would hurt to see the person she loved most be with someone else but his happiness was much more important than her own. After everything he had been through she figured he deserved whatever joy he could get.

"Deeply." Byleth answered truthfully. She had promised herself on the day that he had proposed in her other life that she would never lie to him and she wasn't going to start now. "I always will. But you don't have to hold yourself to the man I knew. You should find your own happiness without being defined by a future that I remember."

"What do you mean?"

"I have said it before that the choices I made will have an effect on the future we will see. You can cut out your own destiny." She told him with a sad smile. She interpreted the shocked expression on his face from her mimicking the words he had told Edelgard years ago when they were kids, not realizing that he had repeated them to Edelgard in the future that Byleth remembered.

She was wrong.


	11. Chapter 11

Dimitri stared at Byleth in surprise. She admitted to loving him but was determined to let him go and create his own path if that was what made him happy.

She didn't realize that he wanted to walk that path with _her_.

"Did He- _I_\- never explain?" He asked, knowing the answer instantly by the confused look on her face. He figured that his other self, the one that had been her husband, had probably told her that he loved her on such a regular basis that he had never needed to tell her when he had _started_.

"Explain what?"

"Do you remember what my wish was at the Goddess Tower?" The seeming change in topic threw Byleth off. How did their conversation go from cutting one's own fate to the Goddess Tower? Where was he going with this?

It took her a few moments to remember for as long ago it was for Dimitri, it was even longer for her. The first memory that popped up had been the morning he had proposed but she knew that wasn't what he was talking about. It hadn't happened for him yet. When she remembered the words he had said the night after the ball she looked up at him with a confused tilt to her head.

"You wished that there was a world where the strong didn't have to trample on the weak."

"Ah, I was actually thinking about my _other_ wish." Dimitri clarified. Even in the faint candlelight she could see the slight color on his cheeks but she willingly ignored it as she tried to remember what other wish he had made. Had there been one? Why did it have to be so long ago?! She wasn't so old her memory was fading already, right?

Oh.

_OH._

_That_ wish. The wish that they would always be together. The slight blush darkened when he noticed that she finally understood what he was starting to get at. His words came out in a rush that he stumbled over.

"I-It was my way of confessing. But then you didn't _say _anything! So I panicked and-and-."

"And turned it into a joke." She finished with awe. She hadn't been familiar enough with her own emotions to know how she felt about his sudden confession at the time. She hadn't known what to say in response because she had been his professor and Seteth had already talked to her about 'appropriate behavior'; setting a standard for the students. Despite her sudden tenure as a teacher, she knew that starting a relationship with a student did not fall under 'appropriate behavior'. She had meant to turn him down but something in her really didn't want to completely cut him off. If he wanted to he could have pursued her after he graduated, if he didn't find someone else before-hand, but he had said that he was joking before she could voice any of this and she had scolded him gently for an inappropriate joke. If he had pulled the same thing on someone else, someone who had been more sure of her feelings towards him, his words could have seriously wounded.

This was a new development for Byleth. She had always assumed that his feelings for her had grown during the war and they had solidified completely after his proposal; much like her own had. Even when he had been in the academy as her student she had found him adorable and helpful but hadn't had any strong feelings towards him. Of course, she hadn't had _any_ strong feelings at all then.

"Since then? You've liked me since then?" She asked as she held her hands over her heart as if to protect it from the words she dreaded most. She didn't think she could bear it if he said that he was just kidding like he had the last time at the tower. She knew her heart now but she had to be sure of _his_.

"A boyhood crush on teacher." He answered as he looked away from her focused gaze, embarrassed by the admission of his own feelings. It was only because she had said he had been her husband in an alternate timeline and confessed to loving him deeply that had given him the courage to say the words now. Had he always lacked such courage? He didn't know anymore. Maybe he had always been such a coward and letting go, descending into madness, had been an easy escape from the reality of the world.

He didn't want to live like that anymore. Byleth made him want to try. After everything she had been through she was still marching forward, still facing the future, still willing to give up what was precious to her for the happiness of others. She made him want to hope.

He sincerely hoped that she wouldn't turn him down.

"Since then." Byleth repeated and Dimitri's unease increased. He wanted her to say something, _anything_, else. He had wanted her to know how long he had liked her so that she knew that whatever she felt for him would be willingly returned. That she didn't need to hold back. Her silence was as uncomfortable as it had been then but this time he knew he couldn't say it was a joke again. He didn't _want_ to play it off as just a badly timed jest. He wanted her to _know_. He wanted even more desperately for her to say or do _something._

He turned to face her at the feel of her hand on his shoulder and, as if she had read his mind, Byleth leaned up to place a single chaste kiss to his lips. She was stopped from her retreat after the kiss by his hand curling around the back of her neck and pulling her back into another. It was inexpert and a little sloppy but Byleth happily returned the sentiment, wrapping her arms around him in encouragement.

Kiss followed after kiss until they were both breathless. It was undoubtedly late with the flickering of the candle as their only source of light. She knew she needed to distract them both before it got to the point that neither would get much sleep that night. This was technically a new relationship, after all.

"Dimitri, I want to take you somewhere tomorrow." Byleth told him as she slipped from his lap. When had she managed to get there? She couldn't remember, her memories in a hazy fog with pleasurable kisses. She felt Dimitri's grip tighten on her hips as if he didn't want her to leave but he let her go, watching her retreat until she was standing before him.

"Where?" He asked, feeling a slight bit of suspicion when she only smiled at him. He sighed and stood as well, taking a moment to cup her cheek and enjoying the fact that he could do that now without worrying about if she would deny him. "Very well. Shall I meet you in front of your room?"

"How about in the dining hall that way we can eat breakfast before-hand." She suggested as she leaned into his touch. When she pulled away so he could go, it was reluctantly and Dimitri headed towards the door; pausing with his hand on the handle so he could wish Byleth a good night before he slipped outside and disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

"Why the basket?" Dimitri asked Byleth as they walked down a path that was fairly deserted otherwise, shaded against the early afternoon light by monastery walls on either side. He recognized the wicker container as the same one he had brought to her room last night but he didn't mention that part since they were also joined by Dedue who insisted on accompanying them. Dimitri had been a bit hesitant, wondering if he should find something else for his retainer to do, but Byleth had agreed to having Dedue along which told the prince that this wasn't going to be a romantic outing.

"You'll see." Byleth smiled enigmatically. Dimitri had never pegged the professor as someone who liked playing the mysterious role, but then she had never really needed to before since it had been all natural; everything hidden behind a stony mask.

"Oh Professor! Good morning!" Ashe called, standing up from a chair that had been placed next to a wooden door that Dimitri had to assume was locked. The eyes of the grey-haired boy widened when he noticed Dimitri and Dedue behind her. "Your Highness! G-good morning."

"Good morning." He greeted, watching with some confusion as the professor held her hand out towards the younger boy who placed a key ring in it.

"Go get breakfast Ashe. I'll lock up when I'm done and Sylvain arrives."

"Actually, Felix is taking the next shift."

"Is he? Why did they switch?" She asked, getting a shrug in answer. Byleth sighed and unlocked the door as Ashe bowed to Dimitri before retreating the way they had come. She moved inside the room, followed by Dimitri and Dedue. The guys instantly fell into defensive stances when they saw who else was in the room.

"Good morning Professor."

"Good morning Randolph! I'm sorry I haven't been by lately." She told the man as she set down the basket on a little table inside. The enemy general looked up at who else was with the professor and stood from the chair he had been sitting in, the book he had been reading clattered on the ground so he could get into a defensive stance as well.

"What is he doing here?" Two voices called out at the same time, both brimming with hostility, one from Randolph, the other from Dimitri.

Byleth quickly shoved herself between the two men that were glaring at each other, her arms outstretched in both directions to keep them at bay. Her gaze was focused on Dimitri in a glare that was easy to interpret.

_Let me handle this._

Dimitri really didn't want to relax in the presence of someone who had been an enemy some months before hand, an enemy that he had thought had been _killed_, but he stood up out of his stance. He would trust her.

She turned to face Randolph as soon as she saw that Dimitri had relaxed his stance, resting her hands on her hips as she glared at the enemy general.

"General Randolph! That is no way for a guest to act!"

"You've already called me a P.O.W! Why are you calling me a guest now!?" Randolph yelled back petulantly and Dimitri had to sigh at how easy it was for Byleth to get others to sing to her tune. Who else could convince someone who was half-mad into a week long game of hide and seek? Now she had an enemy general acting in a childish temper tantrum.

"Are you saying you haven't been comfortable here?"

"That's not it!"

"I hope Fleche isn't this ungrateful."

"Fleche? Did you say Fleche?" Randolph asked, taking the few steps to close the distance between him and the professor, ignoring how Dimitri and Dedue stiffened at his approach.

"Yes, Did they not-?" Byleth started then stopped with a heavy sigh. No, they wouldn't, would they? Felix wouldn't have been interested in supervising a familial visit, one never knew what you would get with Sylvain, and Ashe would have been willing but seemed like someone that would want to be sure before hand and ask permission. With Byleth out the past week, he wouldn't have had the chance to ask. "Alright, We'll take you to go see your sister."

"Are you sure that's wise?" Dedue asked as he watched the excited enemy with suspicion.

"That's what I have two very capable guards for." She replied with a smile, indicating both him and Dimitri. Without much argument, the three men followed Byleth as she led them to another room, unlocking it with a different key on the ring she had received from Ashe earlier. As soon as the door opened a yell warned Byleth of the attack before it hit.

"Dimitri!" Byleth shouted, drowning out the startled yells of Dedue and Randolph, memories of that night replaying in her head. The prince has moved almost on instinct so that he was between her and the broken wooden chair leg that shattered over his upraised arm. It hadn't done anything but sting a little but the way Byleth had screamed and grabbed onto him, he knew that what had happened wasn't what she had seen.

"I'm alright." He assured, turning to face her only after Randolph entered and placed himself between them and Fleche, talking her down from her aggression.

"I thought you were dead!" The girl's eyes watered at the sight of her brother and she hugged him tightly.

Their reunion was forgotten as Dimitri rested his hands on Byleth's shoulders, feeling her shaking. He felt somewhat guilty but he had no doubt he would have done it again if it meant that she didn't get hurt. Byleth took a deep breath to calm her nerves. Once she had calmed down and could take a moment to think, she realized why she had reacted so strongly. It had been her own fault.

Byleth had been through many battles and had seen countless deaths. She had even witness her own father being murdered before her. It was Dimitri's death that caused her the most pain and it was most likely because she had seen it so many times in so many ways. It was her own fault with her insistence on trying to save him, forcing herself to see his repeated deaths. It had not left a shallow mark.

"Professor, are you alright? I'm here. We're fine. Everything is fine." Dimitri soothed, taking her hand into his and running his thumb over the back of her hand. When her shaking had stopped she gave him a small, grateful smile.

"Thank you. I'm alright now." She told him. Once he was sure that she was indeed well he gave her a narrow-eyed glare.

"So would you care to explain how a man I _saw_ you stab is still alive and a... 'guest' of the monastery?" He asked in a carefully neutral tone.

"Oh, well, you see I had been covering my dagger, the one I always carry on my belt, with a paralytic salve I made from a root."

"Why?"

"Because I remembered that she wanted revenge and I realized it was him when I saw him again. I recognized the family resemblance. I didn't want our people to be the only one that ended with a happy ending... I didn't want you to regret."

Dimitri's grip tightened on her hand, not enough to be painful, but enough that she felt it. His expression was unreadable and for a moment Byleth was worried that she had offended him. Her worries were put at ease when he gave her a subtle smile.

"Only you would consider something like that important." He murmured with a soft chuckle. It looked like he was about to say more but they were interrupted by the door behind them opening.

"Fleche! I found a new tea that I think you'll really like- oh... Hi Professor. Dimitri. Dedue? What are you all doing here?" Sylvain asked as he came to a sudden stop, surprised to see so many people in a room where he had expected one.

"Sylvain! So is this why you changed your guard shift with Felix? So you can play around with our _guest_?" Byleth asked with a smile that was somehow sinister and Sylvain felt that if he didn't answer correctly that there was a good chance that he was going to be in trouble and probably end up with so much extra work.

"What? Of course not! I just wanted to make her feel at home and show that we're not really bad guys." Sylvain said with a smile and a careless shrug. His smile faltered a moment when Randolph moved to be between him and Fleche, glaring at the red-headed man like the protective older brother he was. "Since we're all here, how about we have tea? It's a good icebreaker."

The rest of the visit went by easier, even with the tense atmosphere. Somehow Sylvain managed to lighten everyone's mood with his enthusiasm despite the fact that the enemy general kept his sister away from the flirtatious man any chance he could get, moving between them whenever the teasing man got to close. The hours passed and Sylvain took his leave first, waving enthusiastically to Fleche who returned it with a shy smile and wave of her own while Randolph's glare followed the other man out.

They allowed Randolph and Fleche to say their goodbyes when the young girl surprised Dimitri by approaching him to slip into a bow.

"I'm really really sorry." She apologized, her hands gripping her thighs as she stared hard at the ground. "I'm _so_ very sorry."

Dimitri looked from Fleche to Byleth for some sort of explanation at the sudden change. Even if they had been if not _friendly, _at least amiable to each other the past couple hours, that didn't mean he had expected an apology. They were still enemies, prisoners of war, no matter how Byleth trussed up the term.

"When we defeat the empire you may be the last and only ruling body of all Fodlan. You will be the deciding voice for everything." She told him and he finally understood. Though he accepted that she had only been attacking what she considered an enemy she had, in fact, attempted regicide which was punishable by death.

"That's not necessary. You're for-."

"Don't." Byleth interrupted before Dimitri could finish. "Your words carry a lot of weight. You must give everyone the courtesy of considering them before you speak."

Dimitri contemplated what his professor had to say. She was right. What he said now could affect their lives and how everyone would treat them in the future. He had to remember that they won't be the only ones he will have to judge and he shouldn't just pardon them all without reflecting on the crimes and punishments.

"I understand."

They escorted Randolph back to his designated room and passed the key ring over to Felix who scoffed at the sight of the little party. With the sun setting the two men escorted Byleth back to her dorm. Dimitri returned to his own room considering the day and everything that had happened.

He had a lot to think about; the future, his role, the war, relationships, and the battle coming up soon.

They would soon be taking back Fhirdiad.


	12. Chapter Eleven and a Half

The afternoon was bright and lovely as Annette, Mercedes, and Ashe sat in the cafeteria, greeting Ingrid and Sylvain as they took a seat at the table with them.

"How are you?"

"Pretty good but now Randolph glares at me whenever I have to guard him." Sylvain lamented dramatically, grunting as Ingrid elbowed him sharply in the side.

"That's because you won't stop flirting with his sister."

"I'm not _flirting_! I'm just making sure she feels comfortable and at home!"

"Speaking of flirting, have you seen the Professor and his Highness?" Mercedes interrupted the pending argument smoothly with a small giggle as Annette nodded in agreement.

"Oh, yes! They've been spending a lot of time together lately! Do you think he finally confessed?"

"Do you really think that he likes her like that?" Ashe asked uncertainly. He wasn't as sure about the nature of their relationship as the others seemed to be. It wasn't all that long ago when Dimitri had been growling at everyone to leave him alone. The Professor was good but he had some doubts that she could break through that shell and start a romantic relationship with someone that had been so very closed off.

"It's obvious he has a crush on her." Sylvain answered with a wave of his hand. "But I'm not so sure if he said anything or that she feels the same way towards him."

"He is the type to keep his feelings to himself so as not to trouble others." Ingrid added. They all looked to each other in silence before Annette stood with a slap of the table.

"That's it! We're going to find out if they've gotten anywhere in their relationship!"

"How?" Mercedes tilted her head when she asked, much like a confused puppy.

"We'll look for evidence!"

"We're going to follow them, aren't we?" Ashe sighed heavily, already knowing the answer.

"Yes!"

"Why do you all care about the boar prince's relationship? It's no one's business." Felix asked as he approached the table. He only overheard the last part of the conversation but that had been enough. They acted like it was a tale come to life and he just could not understand the obsession.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to Felix." Sylvain stood, followed by Mercedes, Ashe, and Ingrid. Felix clicked his tongue and strode away from the group that decided that they would look for and follow Dimitri and Byleth.

They found the two walking through the main hall towards the marketplace, talking quietly together. The group of stalkers were a little too far to hear what was being said but they watched carefully for any clues and whispered to each other with each one: a touch to the shoulder, a giggle, each little glance.

"They're _totally_ flirting." Sylvain stated with a grin, literally pointing when Byleth gave a soft laugh and tapped at Dimitri's upper arm.

"They're coming! Hide!" Annette hissed as she pulled Sylvain behind the door where the others hid as Dimitri and Byleth moved up the stairs and towards the stables. Several heads peeked around the corner in time to see the two they were following disappear around the corner on the far end, towards the gazebo. They had to sprint to catch up, taking a few moments so their heavy breathing wouldn't give them away as they slipped around the hedges to watch the two walk past grass and cobblestone through the gate towards the dorm rooms.

"Ooh, racy." The red-haired male murmured, gaining a smack to the back of his head at the implied innuendo.

"Don't be crass." Ingrid scolded as she withdrew her hand after hitting Sylvain, turning her gaze back to their prince and professor. "You keep saying that they're flirting but so far it appears they haven't done more than talk and walk. They haven't held hands or hugged or _anything_."

"Maybe they're just shy?" Ashe suggested to turn their attention away from their squabble and back to their task at hand.

"They're headed back to the rooms. Maybe we'll see definitive proof there." Annette added. She set her expression into a serious one and raced forward towards the gate that separated them from the dorms, the others following her lead.

* * *

"Do you think they've realized yet that we know they're following us?" Byleth asked as they stopped at the base of the steps in front of her door. Her smile widened at the heavy sigh Dimitri gave.

"No otherwise they would have given up already. They won't get what they want if we _know_ they're there."

"It's a shame. I was kind of hoping for a good-bye kiss."

"The one earlier wasn't satisfying enough?" Dimitri grinned as he watched the slight color come to her cheeks. Her emotions were easy to read and came readily to her face. He had thought she was cool before with her stoicism but now, knowing her emotion and seeing them for himself, he thought she was beautiful and bright. He enjoyed watching the shift from one expression to the other and it made him want to tease her more.

"Good _night_, Dimitri." Byleth laughed lightly. She gave him a small wave before moving to enter her room, pausing to glance where the rest of her class lay in waiting, seeing their disappointed gazes. They had expected to find something during their half-day investigation but Byleth and Dimitri weren't ready to give them anything. Their relationship wasn't really defined yet, still in it's infancy, and they were both worried that outside interference would put unnecessary pressure on them while they were still figuring things out.

Dimitri moved down the path towards the dormitory stairs that led to the second floor, pausing when he noticed Felix standing in the way.

"I'll never understand what she sees in you." He commented with a frown and a shrug, glaring up at the prince.

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Gazebo." Felix stated simply, watching Dimitri's eye widen briefly in shock.

"How did you-?" They had thought they had been pretty clever in forcing their group of stalkers to race to catch up after walking through the stables so they could take a few moments at the Gazebo where no one was around to share a private kiss. Neither he nor Byleth had seen any evidence of someone around so how had Felix known?

"Whatever. It's none of my business. Just don't break her heart,_ boar prince_." Felix shrugged again and moved past Dimitri without a backwards glance. Dimitri could only watch him go.

* * *

"It's a shame we couldn't find anything." Annette lamented with a sigh as she stretched her arms across the dining table they had claimed for themselves.

"I don't know. It seems that they were much closer than they were before." Mercedes pointed out as she gave her friend a gentle pat on the shoulder.

"That doesn't mean they're in a relationship though." Ingrid spoke up with a sigh of her own, Ashe and Sylvain nodding in agreement.

"I guess we just have to wait and see."


	13. Chapter Twelve

Byleth walked the stone halls of Fhirdiad castle as she visited memories that had yet to happen at this point. It felt a little weird to know that in this hall Dedue and Gilbert had an animated debate that neither of them remembered or that at that corner that was in one piece currently Felix had taken a chunk of stone from the wall on accident. Missing scorch marks from Annette, a stable hall table that would turn wobbly from Sylvain, a bare wall that had hung the Goddess' symbol gifted by Mercedes. So many memories that had no evidence of existing.

She felt crazy sometimes but having Dimitri and Rodrigue's complete confidences helped. They had gone over the plan for the siege of Fhirdiad where Byleth had pointed out all the defenses of the capital city. Gilbert, Shamir, and Catherine understood that the professor's standing had changed somehow when they made suggestions and _both_ Dimitri and Rodrigue looked to Byleth for her counsel. She knew the knights couldn't understand but that was because she hadn't told them anything. She didn't want anyone else to know beyond the two people she had already told. Rodrigue still cornered her occasionally to ask questions but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle.

Well, there was_ one_ question that she avoided whenever Rodrigue asked. She would make an excuse or say she was busy and slip away from him; running away to put as much space between them as possible. It was whenever he asked if she had used her powers since she had returned to the past.

The truth was that she had_ not_ used her powers since she reunited with the others. Fear kept her from trying. She was afraid that her power wouldn't work when she needed it or that it would slip from under her control and she would wake up on the riverbed again. She had gained so much in such a short time that she didn't think she could go through it all again. Not that it mattered much. She hadn't felt it's warm flow since she had awakened. She didn't know if she had used too much power and needed to recharge, if it lay dormant until a pressing need, or if she had lost it all together. Each possibility brought it's own fears.

"Professor." Byleth looked up, drawn out of her rumination by the sound of Dimitri calling her. It took her a moment to realize that she had followed the path through the castle she had taken numerous times before, ending in front of Dimitri's bedroom. How must it have looked with him standing at the end of the hall and seeing Byleth standing outside his room but he made no mention of the oddity. "Have you grown weary of the festivities?"

"I was going to ask you the same." Just earlier that day they had taken Fhirdiad and the citizens had cheered Dimitri. Unlike last time, Byleth had been able to give him a hug as he cried at the support of his people. He had been so sure that they must have hated him, just as he hated himself, that their ready acceptance of him had been a welcomed surprise. They had a large celebration afterwards which the others were enjoying quite gleefully.

"It's not that I have grown weary... More that I find it difficult to be around everyone at the moment."

There was a moment of silence as Dimitri reflected on where he had just come from. Just as Byleth had left the festivities to wander the castle, Dimitri had left to visit his family. It had been over five years since he had last been able to visit. He finally decided to open up to the woman that had come to be so dear to him.

"I have just returned from visiting the graves of my loved ones. It had been a long while since I left flowers. I was always terribly afraid of going near there... But I could not stay away forever."

He walked closer until he was standing before her; close enough that he could reach out and touch her. He didn't. Not yet. He had something he had to say before he allowed himself to yield to his desires.

"You have taught me something important, Professor."

"Humor?" She asked in a joking tone that caused him to laugh. She had always liked the sound of his laughter; he seemed to understand her dry sense of humor. Of course, he always laughed at Alois' jokes as well so it was hard to say if she was _actually_ funny or not.

"You never let up, do you? No, what I am referring to is far more valuable. How should I put this... Perhaps it is most accurate to say that... You taught me how to live. If you and I had not reunited on that fateful day, I am certain I would have died a fruitless death on the battlefield. I would have foolishly challenged a horde of foes and, in doing so, needlessly sacrificed the lives of my friends and myself."

"I wouldn't have let you."

"I know. I will always be grateful to you for it. Because of you I have returned to my rightful place. I struggle with what to say, when I know well that words are not enough to express my gratitude. You saved me from the darkness... And guided me back to the light. Thank you, Professor. With all that I am, I thank you."

"Are you happy?" Byleth asked, knowing the answer but feeling she should ask anyway. Though there have been significant changes from the last time she had lived through this, feelings were harder to know.

"That... Is a hard question to answer. I still do not believe I deserve happiness. These hands of mine have taken so many lives... Nobles and commoners. Adults and children. Perhaps a day will come when I have finally atones for my sins... But such a day is not possible until after the war is over. But I digress... For tonight, our only focus should be to bask in our victory. After that, we must prepare for our battle with the Empire."

Dimitri sighed as he thought of all the work that would soon be upon them. It was exhausting just thinking about it.

"To start, we must absorb the Kingdom knights taken by the Dukedom into our own forces and reshuffle our troops. The lords will need to help purge our territory of Imperial forces, and I will use my authority as king to gather forces from various regions. And we'll have to ask the merchants to lend us the funds we require... Oh, and we must request delivery of supplies at once..."

"That sounds like a lot of work."

"Heh... Just thinking about it all makes my head spin. There is much to do but it is all critical if we hopes to stand a chance against the Empire."

"You know, you can call me by my name when it's just the two of us." Byleth brought up, effectively changing the subject, bringing the topic of conversation away from the Empire and Edelgard and back to them. "I'm not technically your professor anymore."

"You will always be our professor. Our Beloved-." Dimitri paused and considered his words, particularly the last one. It was perfect and judging by the her expression it was one that she had heard before. He must have come to the same conclusion as his other self: her husband. Odd that he found himself jealous of _himself. _ A streak of possessiveness added emphasis to his words. "Yes,_ my_ beloved."

Dimitri moved closer to her, watching in fascination as she blushed and she looked up at him in anticipation. He found it intriguing how expressive she was now. Back when he had first tried confessing at the goddess tower she had been so hard to read but now he could easily tell that she was waiting for him to kiss her. He happily complied with her silent demand.

As it had the first time, and many times following, kissing Byleth lit a fire of desire in his blood and he wanted to act on it; to take her in his arms and march right to the nearest bed. They _were_ right in front of his room. Would she accept it? Would she insist on waiting until they were married? How could he tell? Maybe he could test her reaction somehow; like opening his door. If she pulled away from him then he would know that she didn't want the same thing he did, at least not currently.

He placed several light pecks to her lips as he thought, pausing at the creak of his door opening and he pulled back in surprise. Byleth's smug smile was all it took for him to realize that _she_ had been the one to open the door, effectively derailing his plan.

"You didn't need to test me. You could have just asked." She knew him so well that she was able to easily tell his thoughts just by his distracted kisses, almost as if she could read his mind. Byleth reached out and took his hands in her own, holding them to her. He marveled at the warmth that spread through him at just the touch of her hands. He leaned down and kissed her which she accepted readily and he _knew_.

"Byleth, I lo-."

"Don't!" He was paused by her shout and her hands over his mouth, dropping his own as if they were on fire. He tried not to be hurt by her denial of his verbal intimacy. She had readily accepted his physical affection, so why was she denying his words? He received his answer as she continued. "If there's even the _slightest_ chance that you could grow to love another, don't say those words."

Ah, of course. She knew him well and knew that should he devote himself to her his honor would not allow for anything else. Even if his heart would get swayed towards another in the future, he would give up that happiness to keep to the silent vow that those three words carried. Other nobles may not have qualms about taking mistresses but Dimitri's integrity would never allow him to be with someone who was not his significant other. Even now, after everything they've been through, she was still trying to protect his heart.

He didn't want to tell her that it was alright because they weren't married yet so anything that happened was just as lovers and not a promise of more. Not that he didn't plan for that to happen in the future. He had been her husband once before, hadn't he? There shouldn't be any reason she would refuse him this time either. Right now, though, he just wanted to savor her company and have her relish his.

In a fit of childishness that he blamed _entirely_ on Byleth, Dimitri licked her palm; causing her to yelp and yank her hands back in surprise.

"I _love _you Byleth. I always will." He leaned forward and kissed her before she could protest, dragging her against him. She hesitated for a moment then wrapped her arms around him, returning his intimacy with enthusiasm. Dimitri lifted her up easily and carried her into his room, kicking the door shut behind them.

* * *

Byleth woke, still groggy, to the grey light of predawn where the sun hadn't quite breached the horizon. She blinked a few times to get the sleep out of her eyes and looked around to search for what woke her. Dimitri sat on the edge of the bed, dressed only in a pair of black breeches and she took a moment to marvel at the sinewy muscles of his back, dotted with old scars and new scratches. She felt a little embarrassed at the sight.

"What is it Dedue?" Dimitri asked and Byleth realized that the retainer knocking on the door must have been what had woken her. She didn't see Dedue which meant that he was still on the other side of the closed door for which she was glad because she wasn't exactly in a state to be seen.

"I apologize for waking you so early, Your Highness, but an express messenger came early this morning from the Alliance."

"An express messenger? What could Claude be playing at? I'll get dressed and head towards the reception hall. Will you notify Rodrigue and Gilbert?"

"Yes, Your Highness. Shall I also wake the professor?"

"No, I'll inform her and we'll meet you and the others there." Dimitri replied with a small smile as he glanced over his shoulder at the woman they were talking about, reaching out to cup her cheek as his thumb brushed back and forth as if he reveled in the feel of her skin.

"You know what this letter is about?"

"Of course I do. And so will you in an hour or so." Byleth replied with a sly smile as she moved to stand and search for her clothes. She was distinctly aware of Dimitri's piercing gaze on her as she moved, taking in every aspect of her bare body. It was rather thrilling to be so desired, even after all this time.

"You're not going to tell me?" Dimitri asked, noting how her smile widened a bit more and knew the answer to his question.

"Now where is the fun in that? Now, we should go before Dedue sends a search party after us."

* * *

The battle of Derdriu was quick and decisive with the forces of Faerghus taking the Imperial army by surprise, crushing them against the remnants of the Alliance army. It had been decided that they would help not only because it would be advantageous for the Kingdom in the future but because the Alliance needed assistance. Byleth knew that Dimitri would be a good and righteous king when he said that. She would support him with everything she had now and in the future.

It was a shame that Arundel died so quickly, though. Dimitri lamented the wasted opportunity to get information.

"For now, let's rejoice in our victory." Byleth plied. They had just struck a pivotal blow against the Empire that would only be a boon to kingdom efforts in the future.

"Teach is absolutely right. We should take this rare opportunity to let off some tension." Claude added with an easy smile as he approached the two, noting to himself how close they stood to each other. A single side-step and their shoulders would touch.

"It's been a long time, Claude. I am glad to see that you're safe."

"Same. I haven't seen you since the nightmare that was Gronder." Claude rubbed at an old wound absently and Byleth frowned. She had missed how the battle at Gronder had ended since she had been knocked out by the pain of being literally on fire.

"Are you alright? Have your wounds healed?" Byleth watched as Claude's eyebrows shot up in startlement as if just realizing something and he stared hard at her unmarked face. The last time he had seen her, her skin had been blackened and flaking.

"I should ask you that question, Teach. You were taken from the field with bad burns. You must have some_ incredible_ healers. Your skin isn't even sunburned." He pointed out, watching as Dimitri moved slightly between them when the prince had noticed his hand raise as if to touch the professor. He rested his hand on his hip instead, tilting his head as he gave Dimitri a sly smile. He knew that if anyone could bring Dimitri around it would be Byleth; he just hadn't realized just how close their relationship would get. "Anyway, you really did come to help us... You must be a bunch of soft-hearted suckers, eh?"

"If you really felt that way, you would not have set up a defensive battle in the hopes we would come. It worked out only because we made it in time... Were you really so confident that we would answer the call?"

"Of course. I knew you wouldn't hesitate to put yourself second and come running to our aid." The only one that could see Byleth's proud smile was Claude as Dimitri had placed her at his back when he had stepped between them.

_So they're not just _close. _They're acting like a couple. Protective and Proud. _Claude thought to himself, careful not to let it show on his face.

"You know him well."

"You and I are cut from different cloth. I wouldn't make a move unless I could gain something from it. You've always been just the opposite. And, of course, I've always been fond of taking dangerous risks. After all, I sent that express messenger before you had even recaptured the Kingdom capital. It was riskier than usual, I'll give you that, but it was the only card I had to play so I took the gamble."

"You cross too many dangerous bridges for my liking."

"I know, I know. But... That ends today."

"What do you mean?" Dimitri asked. Claude saw that Dimitri was surprised, which was expected, but Byleth was not. Had she somehow anticipated that he would give up being the leader of the alliance? He figured that she was smart but he didn't think she was clever enough to calculate his moves. Could he surprise her still?

"Here, take this. Use it however you see fit." No, Byleth still showed no signs of shock. It was a little disappointing because it took all the fun out of Claude's actions.

"The legendary bow, Failnaught... Isn't this the Hero's Relic of House Riegan? Hold, Claude. This must be one of your jokes. You cannot truly intend to part with this..."

"It's not a joke. As of today, the Leicester Alliance is no more."

"What are you planning, Claude?" Dimitri asked humorlessly, crossing his arms and Byleth stepped up to stand beside him once again. His movements had partially blocked her view of the mischievous man; she had barely been able to see Claude passed Dimitri's bulk and cloak originally.

"If you're going to lead Fodlan then the Alliance lords will follow you. Back in the day, the Alliance split off from the Kingdom. I'm just putting us back together again. Oh, and I've already gained the support of the other lords at the roundtable conference, so you can stop looking at me like I'm crazy. All that's left is for me to officially step down as the leader of the Alliance."

"Will you be returning back to Almyra?" Byleth asked innocently enough but still managed to catch Claude off guard. He hadn't expected to get the tables turned on him so effectively.

"How-?"

"Oh, Claude, before you leave I do need to talk to you about something. You're pretty resourceful when it comes to getting information. I want to ask you to look into something."

"Ha, You never cease to surprise, Teach. Why not walk with me as we talk?" Claude sighed with a shake to his head. He glanced to Dimitri and instantly decided that he wanted to mess with the future king one more time before he left. He offered Byleth his arm, grinning when she placed her hand into the crook of his elbow, effectively causing Dimitri to glare at Claude. He remained silent, though, probably figuring out what Claude was trying to do. Claude gave a wave over his shoulder as he walked with the Professor. "Let's promise to meet again and when we do... Don't be too hard on me, Your Kingliness."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this we have caught up to what I have on FanFiction.net.  
With the holidays coming up, updates may slow down a lot. I'll try to update at least once more before Thanksgiving but if I can't it will definitely come out the first week of December.  
Happy Holidays!  
-DarkDevilsAdvocate


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I swear that I didn't abandon this story!
> 
> Sorry this took so long to get out. I really meant for this to come out in December at the latest but then life punched me in the face. The holidays, family coming to visit, work, and my computer messed up. It shuts off if you even look at it the wrong way and the screen is messed up.
> 
> I managed a temporary work around so that I can finish this chapter and get it out to you guys but it will definitely slow down the chapter updates. I will try to get them out monthly but if I can't make it, please understand that it's because my computer decided to mess up on me.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this long awaited chapter!
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate  


"Well, Dimitri? Are you finally going to tell us the damned truth?" Felix demanded as everyone cornered the prince in the hall. They had just returned to Garragh Mach earlier that day and was to take the rest of the day off. Instead, they had unanimously decided to get some answers by luring and trapping Dimitri who now stared at them in confusion and a little bit of apprehension. Did they find out about his relationship with Byleth? Had they somehow been found out when he had carried her into his room? Neither of them had really talked about whether to let others know or not. It had never really come up during their conversations with each other. It always seemed like there were always other things to talk about. It wasn't that it was an important matter that others needed to know, either. Dimitri decided to err on caution and neutrally ask for clarification.

"What are you talking about?"

"Didn't Lord Arundel say something about you and Edelgard being family?" Ashe asked, clearing up the conversation for Dimitri. Ingrid jumped in right after.

"To claim that the King and the Emperor are related... Could it be?"

"Ah, I suppose I never told you, though I have talked to the professor about it... Lord Arundel spoke the truth. My stepmother was Edelgard's birth mother. Political turmoil drove my stepmother out of the Empire. Father fell in love with her at first sight and they married. I lost my birth mother before I was old enough to remember her. My stepmother filled that role for me but she lost her life in Duscur nine years ago, along with father."

"Hang on. I didn't know she was your stepmother. Does my father know about this?"

"Yes. All those where close to my father knew, including Rodrigue. But to speak openly about it would have caused a scandal and so she was our secret. No one in the general public knew about her. Naturally, the fact that Edelgard and I are step-siblings was kept a secret as well." The pieces clicked into place for the others; explaining Dimitri's actions all these years. His constant rage and pain.

"I'm finally beginning to understand what you went through five years ago. I mean, Edelgard is the only family you have left, isn't she? To find out someone so precious to you is actually your most hated enemy... How heartbreaking." Mercedes murmured. Of all people, Mercedes was the one that understood his position the most with her own brother a part of the Empire; as the death knight no less.

"But wait! You two were born and raised in two different territories, right? So you probably never met until you were both at the academy. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think the idea of fighting family is just about the worst thing ever, but hopefully the fact that she's a stepsister who you never really knew helps with the pain... I don't know, it was just a thought"

"I'm afraid that's not the case. Though it was only for a short time, Edelgard once called Fhirdiad home. It was a long time ago, but she was a cherished friend of mine." Dimitri explained in response to Annette's desperate attempt to find the situation less tragic. He almost felt a little bad at how her expression fell at his words. He did appreciate how his friends, and he did consider them friends, kept trying to find the good in a bad situation for him.

"Wait! I remember now! She was that girl, wasn't she? The one you gave a dagger to! Heh, so your little girlfriend was Edelgard." Sylvain smiled cheekily and if he was closer he would have nudged the prince with a wink while probably earning a well-deserved smack in return. Still, he had effectively cut through the tension that had been growing in the air.

"Sylvain, If you have any more foolish things to say, please hold them for later." Dimitri sighed heavily. He had adored Edelgard but never to the point that Sylvain seemed to think and kept teasing him about. It had been years and, despite how Dimitri had denied it, Sylvain still called her his girlfriend.

Dimitri had always wanted to consider her family but knew when they had reunited that that would no longer be a possibility. She kept herself cold and indifferent from him. A clear wall had been placed between them.

Then he had found out she was the Flame Emperor.

"I do have a few more up my sleeve but they can wait. Go on, Your Highness. This is important for us to hear."

"She may be a hated enemy now, but the emperor is your old friend and your stepsister." Felix stepped in with a frown, leveling an even gaze on Dimitri as he asked his question. "Can you bring yourself to kill her?"

"I will kill her... if I must. But if there is any chance that the world she seeks to create could be a just one... Then I... I would love to see a future in which I may reach out my hand for her and have her reach back. That said, I have no intention of letting my personal feelings cloud my judgment. Too much is at stake."

"Your Highness... I think you should meet with the emperor and at least try to talk to her. If there's any hope of ending this war without more bloodshed, we have to try. Besides, killing your own family... I'm sorry, but it's not right." Ashe suggested and Dimitri had to agree. He found it odd that just a month ago he had been determined to kill Edelgard but now he was willing to take the chance to make peace between them.

"I... I think so too. And you are right. That we should at least try." He agreed, silence following his words until Sylvain gave a cheeky grin at his friend and Dimitri felt trepidation grow in the pit of his stomach.

"So, Edelgard isn't your girlfriend... but what about the_ professor_?" Dimitri sighed heavily as Annette shouted 'oh yeah!' and all eyes focused on him for his answer. All but Felix who scoffed and walked away with a mumbled 'this is a waste of time'. Dimitri hesitated in his answer. He and Byleth had never really discussed revealing their relationship. It was still new between them, only a few months old, and though they both knew that the other students were aware that there was something going on between the prince and the professor, other matters were more important and needed to be the focus; the war being one of them.

"F-foolishness..." He mumbled as he took a step back then another. This was a conversation he didn't want to have, at least not alone, and he took a page from Byleth's book; he could hear their gasp of surprise followed by shouts behind him when he turned and ran.

* * *

Byleth stood before the dorm, ready to knock on it's sturdy, wooden door when she hesitated. It felt like perhaps it would be too little too late. It had been months since she had last interacted with Bernadetta and she didn't know just what she would say to the girl. She just felt that she had to say _something_ or else everything she had done thus far to save the girl would end up for naught.

After steadying her nerves, Byleth knocked with an assertiveness that would have forced others to open by her sheer willpower alone.

That didn't work for Bernadetta.

Byleth heard a yelp followed by silence. She waited a moment as she listened attentively for the slightest of sounds in the dorm room. The silence was so thick that Byleth thought that the girl was holding her breath. She wondered if Bernadetta was truly that frightened of her old professor.

"I'd like to talk to you; if you'd give me your time." Byleth spoke aloud, hoping her voice carried clearly through the bulky door.

"P-professor?" Bernadetta called out, giving a soft 'meep' when Byleth gave an affirmative. "I'm so sorry! Please don't kill me!"

"Kill you? Why would I do that?" Byleth asked automatically in her confusion, composing herself of her surprise after the sudden yell from the timid girl who's previous word had been a mere mumble a moment before.

"You were hurt... b-because of me..."

Byleth opened her mouth only to shut it with a clack of teeth. She had been about to say something along the lines of _'it's fine_' or _'it's not your fault'_ but stopped herself. Bernadetta had been fretting over this for the past few months and she deserved proper consideration in the answer she would receive.

Byleth thought carefully on what she would say, on how her words would impact the girl still standing on the other side of the door, taking a long while. She didn't know if it was only a couple minutes or if it had been an hour but she finally came to a decision.

"Bernadetta?"

"I'm here." Bernadetta murmured.

"You believe I was hurt because of you."

"Y-yes?"

"I can't say that you're wrong. I was indeed burned because we couldn't get off of the structure before it went up in flames." Byleth stated honestly, hearing the soft gasp that the younger woman gave but continued on before she could fall into self-reflective depression. "But that wouldn't be a reason to kill you. It kind of defeats the purpose of saving you in the first place."

"O-oh."

"And I have to say that it was very much my own fault that I was hurt. There were many things I could have done but didn't. I could have just left you and saved myself. I could have grabbed you and pulled you with me without trying to get your consent. I could have just tackled you and rolled ups both off that thing. I could have tried to find some way to stop the fire from starting in the first place. I could have used a Pegasus or Wyvern and just lifted us up where the fire couldn't have gotten us."

Byleth sighed and leaned against the door, her forehead pressed against the rough wood as she closed her eyes and mentally went over everything that had happened, everything she had experienced so far.

"Now that I think about it, there were so many other choices and options that would have been better." Byleth gave a hollow laugh at her own over-eagerness to save another that it had narrowed her line of vision away from other, _better,_ possibilities. "But you want to know something? I don't regret my choice any. Not at all. I don't think I would ever regret saving another person."

"Not even an enemy?" Bernadetta asked after a moment of hesitation.

"Not even an enemy. It's hard enough to get through life without regrets, I don't want to spend any of it regretting on not doing something I _could have_ to save another person. I want to try and end this war as soon as possible for all the people like you; those that didn't have a choice in this. I want to bring peace back to everyone."

There was a long silence as Bernadetta thought over Byleth's words and the professor waited patiently for her. She was surprised by the gentle click of the door opening and was greeted to the sight of a single grey eye staring up at her with shimmering hopefulness.

"I-I would like to help."

* * *

"Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" Catherine yelled. They had gathered for a meeting on how they would penetrate Fort Merceus when Byleth had brought up the fact that Bernadetta would be of help. Predictably, Dimitri and Rodrigue had considered her words but Catherine had argued against it.

She had pointed out the Bernadetta had been an enemy, might _still_ be an enemy, and they were willing to hinge their plan on her? They didn't know if she had really changed sides. Byleth insisted that she had but Catherine wasn't having any of it. They had argued back and forth for the past few minutes, ignoring any attempts from others to mediate.

"People should be given the chance to-."

"Stab you in the back? You've given her plenty of opportunity." Catherine's hand motioned towards the girl cowering behind the professor. Bernadetta squeaked as the intimidating knight's attention fell on her. Byleth really didn't want to argue with Catherine. She had been one of Byleth's staunches supporters when she had become Archbishop and she was afraid that she would ruin any future friendship that had blossomed between them before. Still, Byleth couldn't let her just doubt Bernadetta's sincerity like that.

"She can be of help and she wants to! We should give her that chance!"

With an aggravated grunt, the knight looked towards the others, her eyes focusing on the calm Rodrigue and Seteth.

"Aren't you guys going to say anything? Talk some sense into her!"

"I believe she has a point." Rodrigue answered with an almost uncaring shrug. "It's not called an 'Impregnable Fortress' for no reason."

"Ha. I expected this from Dimitri, He's a love sick-puppy, but you? I thought you were more level-headed than that." Catherine sighed heavily, ignoring Dimitri's attempt to interject, and turned her attention to Seteth who had managed to stay out of the argument so far; gaining his attention and waving towards the professor in a silent bid for his help. Everyone knew that Seteth didn't hold back in his scolding if he thought someone was doing something to hurt the church. The older man looked between the knight and the professor, frowning after a moment.

"I understand where you are coming from, Lady Catherine, but we cannot simply dismiss the possibility of the girl's help. The Professor's plans have been helpful in the past. Her experience as a mercenary-."

"Does not make her an authority in war." Catherine hissed with a shake of her head. "I can't understand what Lady Rhea was thinking, leaving a young girl like her in charge. You put too much trust in the enemy. First that general, then his sister, and now this!"

Bernadetta flinched and pressed her forehead into Byleth's back as if she could escape from the weight of everyone's eyes on her by melding with the solid stone that was her professor; the only protection standing between her and the scrutinizing gaze of everyone else. Byleth felt Bernadetta shaking like a leaf against her back and the thread of patience that Byleth had left snapped.

"That is ENOUGH." Byleth scowled. Her voice didn't raise into a yell but there was a sharp enough edge to her words that everyone fell silent and focused their attention on her, somehow finding it hard to meet her burning gaze. If authority was a weapon, Byleth would be wielding hers pointed at the throats of the others until they bent to her will. "Just as you said, Lady Catherine, Lady Rhea left _me_ in charge of the church. Bernadetta will assist us in the next battle. After we take Fort Merceus we will march Enbarr. Am I understood?"

Byleth's gaze traveled over each person, reaching behind her and gently taking Bernadetta's hand when no one spoke up so she could lead the girl out of the room and the people that had been scaring her.

"Yes, well... I believe that brings this meeting to an end." Seteth coughed into the silence that had followed Byleth's departure. With a bit of awkwardness, everyone slowly filed out of the room.

* * *

Byleth paced the garden path as she worried her bottom lip with her teeth. She had managed to stay calm until she had escorted Bernadetta back to her room but then was suddenly hit with the realization that she had just put everyone that was technically higher in rank than her in thier place. She wasn't the Archbishop_ yet_ and though she had started to cultivate friendships with them before the five-year gap, they weren't the close friends that they had been before her journey back in time.

She hated that she and Catherine had argued but there was one that was even more important to her and she didn't want to lose them as a part of her life.

"Professor?" His voice called out and she looked up at Seteth; giving him a small smile as she approached him. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to speak with you, actually. I wanted to say how grateful I was for your support in there."

"As you said, Lady Rhea chose you to lead the church in her absence."

"Ah, true... But I wanted you to know how much _your_ support means to me." Byleth emphasized and she watched as the surprised look on Seteth's face evened out and slowly reddened.

"Oh... I was... I was under the impression that you and Dimitri were..." Seteth began, confusing Byleth as he continued. "Not that I don't _appreciate_ your attention but I'm not looking for- What's so funny?"

Byleth had tried not to laugh at the awkwardness of Seteth's attempt to let her down gently but the misunderstanding and the relief that he was still willing to treat her normally her had forced the giggle out.

"No, Seteth, no. I care about you but like _family_. You're like an uncle to me. Flayn is like a cousin." She told him with a smile, walking with him down the path towards the dining hall.

"Ah, My apologies for the misunderstanding but I wouldn't say we were close enough to be family."

"Arent' we though? Technically? My mother was created by Rhea, after all." Byleth shrugged nonchalantly, pausing when she realized that Seteth had stopped in his tracks. He was staring at her oddly at her confession.

"You knew?"

"You told me."

"I did not. I believe I would remember such a conversation."

"Right, I guess I should have said you _will_ tell me. Or I guess not, now, since I already have the knowledge but you _did_ tell me." Byleth rambled, watching his confusion grow at her words. She couldn't blame him. trying to explain something without the context would confuse anyone. Byleth motioned for Seteth to follow her to a secluded spot, away from where they could be accidentally overheard, and then proceeded to tell him everything. He would be the third. The third to know everything about what she could do and what she had been through. Seteth listened in shocked silence and his breathing became a little ragged during her story.

"You could talk to her? To Sothis?" He asked in a soft voice; as if speaking any louder would cause this current reality to shatter all around him.

"Yes. She was a steadying force for me when everything was being upended around me." She confessed in a soothing voice. She had expected his reaction. It was the same one he had the last time she had told him, but then they had been a lot closer as well. Still, She understood that it must be hard to know that your sister had been somewhat successful when it came to returning your mother to life. It wasn't a chance that most people get. It made her wonder how she would react if she had the chance to see her father again.

"I see." Seteth closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. She waited patiently for him to come to terms with all the information she had just dumped on him. "Dimitri and Rodrigue knows all of this as well?"

"Yes."

"That explains why they have such faith in your decisions." Seteth sighed and looked to Byleth, studying her face in silence before speaking again. "So you see me as an uncle?"

"Yes, and Flayn is like a cousin." Byleth nodded with a smile, glad that the conversation had turned towards something lighter in tone.

"And what about Lady Rhea?"

Byleth paused and thought about it. Rhea certainly had a _motherly_ feel to her but it wasn't 'mother' that Byleth felt when she thought of Rhea. No, if anything she was more like a...

"Grandmother?" Seteth's laugh caught Byleth off-guard, causing her to jump at its sudden sound.

"She's old enough." Seteth said. Byleth blinked and then joined him in laughing. "Don't tell her I said that."

It was nice to be able to just have a moment of levity with her family again.


	15. Chapter 14

Flayn was the next one to be brought into the fold of those who knew of Byleth's powers. The girl was surprised but took it all in stride; happily welcoming the professor as another member of her family. They had always been on amicable terms but now Flayn happily treated Byleth like the family that she technically was. Byleth had been spending her afternoons with the two of them creating familial bonds.

Byleth was glad to have her family back again. When she had lost her father she hadn't been sure she would ever have someone she could depend on like that again. That had changed when Rhea and Seteth had sat down with her and explained her history, how she was the daughter of Rhea's creation who had fallen in love with Jeralt, and suddenly she had family again. Family that were willing to _be_ family. Byleth was happy to be able to spend time with Seteth and Flayn again outside of school or war planning, just talking about inane things.

Though Seteth and Flayn occupied Beleth's days, Dimitri always had her nights.

"We'll be leaving tomorrow." Dimitri murmured into the darkness as he ran his hand up and down Byleth's back. It was a habit he had gained as if he was using the motion to sooth himself, like he was reminding himself that she was there, that this was real, instead of some blissful dream that he could wake from at any moment and find himself alone in the darkness again; waiting for his inevitable death.

Byleth didn't mind the action; though she had quickly realized that it was something that had differed between _this_ Dimitri and _her_ Dimitri. No, that wasn't right. They were both _her_ Dimitri now. She would have to find some other way to designate the Dimitri she was currently in bed with and the one that she had left behind. Her Lover and her Husband? No, that sounded like she was an adulterer even if they were just monikers she had given to them in her mind.

Still, she figured that it was something he had gained by starting their relationship so much sooner than they had last time she had lived through this. Another change to the myriad that was slowly piling up. The basic timeline was the same but the people around her and the relationships she had with them were completely different. She sometimes wondered just what the future would look like now.

Byleth shifted so she could look at Dimitri's outline in the darkness. Even when she couldn't make out his features clearly, she liked looking at him. He looked so relaxed as they laid in bed, having worked out their energy and stress through other productive measures. Certainly more_ enjoyable_ deeds.

"Bernadetta should have arrived at Fort Merceus by now." Byleth agreed, frowning lightly. The plan that everyone had finally agreed on was that Bernadetta and a few others dressed up as peasants would go to Fort Merceus, claiming to be escaped prisoners of war from Garragh Mach. Bernadetta had enough going for her that she should be able to convince the people at the fort that she had been brought back to the monastery and locked away. She would tell them that she had posed so little a threat that they had stopped locking her door and she had escaped. She was also to tell them that she had information about other captured Prisoners; A captive general and his sister. Byleth had opposed to it for a while, mostly in fear of putting Bernadetta in danger, but eventually caved since it was a best option presented to them.

The Kingdom Army would march on the Fort and trust that Bernadetta would leave a way in for them. It was better than a long siege to an impregnable fortress. Rodrigue and Dimitri had asked Byleth how she had taken the fort last time and she could only tell them 'with time and a _lot_ of force'. It had been a long and tiring battle, constantly under attack as they whittled down their way inside. That was when the _real_ battle started.

Risking Bernadetta wasn't something that Byleth wanted to do but it was better than what they had had to resort to last time. Bernadetta's severe case of low self-esteem, her fear and paranoia, her compulsion to run and hide made it easily believable that she was left in her dorm with the door carelessly unlocked. It also would help her keep a low profile after she got access to the fort until it was time for her to open the gates for the Kingdom Army. Byleth also knew it would take a special kind of courage to risk one's life to open the gate and she was confident that Bernadetta had that courage within her. She was stronger than she believed.

"I'm worried about the Death Knight." Dimitri spoke into the darkness with a heavy sigh. Byleth had made them aware that the fort would be guarded by the Death Knight before the reports had come in about it and it concerned everyone; especially when they saw how wary Byleth was about the upcoming battle. They had faith that they would win the war since she had experienced it all before but her anxiety was easily spread to the others. They had faced him a few times before but that fear never really left.

"I hope Bernadetta will be alright in his presence." 

"Say, Byleth... In the past, it seemed like the Death Knight took some strange satisfaction from his fights with you. He's an unpredictable opponent. A dangerous one." Dimitri's hold on her tightened, pulling her up until there was only a breath of space between them. He could see her shining green eyes vividly in the darkness. "You might become his main objective. Please, proceed with caution."

"Will you save me if I get in trouble?" Byleth asked in a half-teasing voice, taken off-guard by the kiss he gave her; deep and passionate, just like his voice as he answered her.

"Of course. You were the heart of the Blue Lions, the same holds true for the Kingdom army, and-." He held her hands flat against his chest, over his beating heart. "you are _my_ heart."

"It feels like it beats for the both of us." Byleth whispered in reverent awe. She knew that they had to sleep, that they had a big day tomorrow full of travel, but his words lit a fire in her and she leaned up enough to capture his lips to spread that warmth back to Dimitri.

A few more hours without sleep wouldn't make _that_ much of a difference, right?

* * *

Despite her misgivings about the plan to have Bernadetta infiltrate the Fort it went smoothly; allowing the army to march right in. That was when the real battle started. Even though the walls had been a major obstacle it wasn't the only one.

They fought their way through the forces that held the fort. Any that surrendered were shown mercy but none did. Perhaps their fear of the Death Knight was greater than the death that the Kingdom Army brought.

Byleth didn't blame them any for that. Years had dulled the memory and fear but standing before the imposing figure on horseback radiating an intimidating aura brought it all back like a blow to the face. It was like a freezing wind that bore through her clothes, her skin, and right to her bone; spreading like ice in her blood. She _knew_ who he was, what he was capable of, and that they could defeat him but that didn't stop the feeling of black dread that spread through her when those glowing red eyes focused on her.

_I have to try_.

"Jeritza, this is enough. Please. Mercedes misses you." Byleth pleaded. She didn't know if there was a way to save the man that had once been Mercy's brother but Byleth had to take the chance. She wanted to save everyone she could.

"**Jeritza is no mor**e." The deep and gravely voice of the Death Knight ground out. It was his only answer as he lifted his weapon to strike at the professor. She readied herself for the blow, determined to weather it so she could get another attempt at convincing the man behind the mask but all thought, all plans, left when someone else stepped in the way.

At first it was just a thin line across his armor, shoulder to shoulder, then crimson began to flow and he stumbled backwards, held to his feet only by Byleth's arms pressing against his back and taking his weight. She heard everyone shout in worry around them but she couldn't focus on any of that. Another type of fear, greater than that for the Death Knight, gripped her heart.

_No... No this isn't... This couldn't...Not again...._

"I'm alright." Dimitri spoke as he got his feet steady under him, attempting to step forward to get back into the fight but was held in place by someone gripping his cloak. He turned to see Byleth holding on to him in a white-knuckled grip. Her face was oddly blank as her eyes stared unfocused at nothing in particular. "Byleth?"

She didn't respond. She didn't move. If he couldn't hear her ragged breathing he would have thought her a solid statue with how stone still she was. Her eyes slid closed when his fingers brushed against her cheek but made no other movements.

"I'm alright." He repeated, moving closer to her as he whispered reassurances. His armor had taken the brunt of the damage and though he was hurting, he was by no means dead. She didn't react to his words and Dimitri was worried that if she didn't snap out of it she would be in greater danger. The Death Knight was currently distracted by the others but it was only a matter of time before he turned his attention back to his favored opponent.

Dimitri was startled when her eyes snapped open, staring passed him at the Death Knight with a focus both sharp and steely.

"Mercedes. I'm sorry." Byleth apologized, brushed Dimitri off as she stepped around him, and swung with a yell. They had been struggling against this beast of an enemy, one that even Dimitri at his worst would have a hard time against, and Byleth cut him down in a single swing.

The Death Knight fell to the ground with a heavy clatter. His horse reared up and sped away, through the stunned soldiers and students that watched as the Professor stood over the Death Knight; her face as blank as they had ever seen it. It was as if all the emotion she had gained, that she had shown over the passed few months, had fled.

"**This... is suitable..**." The Death Knight said with a satisfied tone. Mercedes was the first to break out of the trance that Byleth's strangely tranquil aura had placed them all in, rushing to her brother's side and peeling his helmet off. Byleth, instead of encroaching on the last few moments that the siblings would have, turned and strode away.

"Byleth! Byleth, wait!" Dimitri called to her as he followed her, a hand to his chest as if it could hold back the pain and the slow flow of blood. They had essentially taken the fort. They should be celebrating.

So why did he have the feeling that she was angry?

"Byleth, Wait!" He grabbed her hand and turned her to face him, startled by the glare she leveled at him.

"You can't keep _DOING_ that!" She shouted as she pulled from him roughly. Her voice had carried easily and drew the eyes of the others, gazes that she willfully ignored in favor of scolding the future king. "Do you not understand the position that you're in?! Do you not realize who you ARE?!"

"Wha-."

"The Alliance has been disbanded and absorbed by the Kingdom; If you die the Empire wins! If by some miracle the Kingdom continues and wins the war, that means Fodlan would be without a leader! _I_ am not worth that!"

"You expect me to just allow you to be hurt, to possibly be killed, without even trying to prevent it should I have the chance?" Dimitri snapped back, her anger infectious. "Even though you could not claim the same? You cannot say you would not risk yourself if you were given the opportunity to save another!"

"YOU are the only ruling body! Even if I ignored my feelings I still could not allow you to die!"

"Neither can I! Unlike you, some of us don't get second chances!"

The silence that came after his words was all encompassing; like a thick blanket had been thrown over everyone, smothering all sound. The soldiers quickly found other things to do; searching the dead for any survivors, cataloging the supplies, setting up base in the fort. Anything to keep them away from the frozen atmosphere that surrounded the two that currently led the whole army.

Dimitri had realized his words were too much as soon as they had left his lips but it was too late to take them back. They had already been thrown out into the world to do their damage.

"Byleth, I'm sorry. I didn't-."

"Why are you apologizing? Your words were true." Byleth sighed. Her powers came with a weight that no one else would ever know. They would never know what it was like to see Felix's head smashed in with a hammer; half his face caved in, an eye popped out from the pressure of the blow. They would never know what it was like to watch blood slip from Ashe's lips as he tried to speak around the arrow in his throat, fear in his eyes when he realized he was going to die. They would never know what it was like to hear the death whinny of a Pegasus or the heavy splat and the crack of bones breaking as Ingrid fell from the air. They would never share the experience of having seen someone burn alive, their skin blackening as their eyes burst and run freely like tears; their screams becoming hoarse from the smoke before falling silent forever. 

Those were memories that she would have to carry for the rest of her life that they would never know. The violent death of a Friend.

She had never considered how it would be for the others should they have to watch another die without Byleth's ability to prevent it. She seen horrible deaths but she had been able to reverse time and ultimately save them. The others didn't have that ability. If she died... She would be _dead_ and they all would have to live with that. There would be no chance to reverse it and save her. They would be left with the stain of whatever terrible death she experienced for the rest of their life. The _should have, could have, would have_ questions that would plague them forever.

Why had she never considered that before? It was a massive oversight on her part. Had she just been willfully ignorant? 

Still, Dimitri couldn't constantly be risking his life for her, especially during the war. He had to survive until the end. He couldn't put her before himself. He was the future _king_. He hadn't done such things the last time she had lived through the war and she wondered if perhaps it was because they weren't in a relationship then. Had this all been a mistake on her part? Because of her selfish need to be loved?

"Byleth...?" Dimitri called out, reaching out for her only to pause when she took a step back out of his range.

"I need some time. To think." She murmured softly, letting her eyes fall so she couldn't see Dimitri's expression as she turned and walked away from him.

Dimitri was unable to say anything as he watched Byleth get further and further away. Why did those words worry him so much?


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to unforeseen circumstances this will be my last chapter. The story ends here.
> 
> ...
> 
> That is not true, it's an April Fools joke. A really bad one. I have no intention of abandoning this story.
> 
> Anyway, I hope everyone's staying safe and please enjoy the chapter.
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate

A messenger arrived from Margrave Gautier, Sylvain's father, with two pieces of news; one good and one bad. The good was that Fhaergus was finally united, the other lords cowed into falling in line and supporting Dimitri's war effort. The bad was that one of Viscount Klieman's men confessed to being a part of the Duscar Tragedy and that the Viscount had also been a part of it. The man, along with the troops and supplies, were currently headed towards the monastery.

The thing was Dimitri wanted Byleth to come with him but he didn't know how to ask after their last conversation.

_It wouldn't be weird to just ask... right?_ Dimitri thought as he wandered through the fort in search of the professor. He found her walking the ramparts, looking out at he fields that stretched out in every direction from the fort. He took a moment to marvel at how beautiful she was bathed in the glow of the setting sun.

_I need some time to think._

Dimitri frowned when his brain unhelpfully reminded him of her words. How was he supposed to ask her to come with him after that? He wasn't even sure that she wanted him around until she had come to whatever conclusion that came after her serious considerations. It was frustrating.

"Byleth." Dimitri forced himself to call out to her only to frown at the strangely blank expression on her face reminiscent of when she had first arrived to Garragh Mach all those years ago. He had grown so used to the emotion she readily displayed lately, the fact that she wore her heart on her sleeve, that such an empty look was startling. It also had the added benefit of hiding her thoughts perfectly.

Frustrating.

It had been so much easier when he had been swallowed by anger, surrounding himself in his own melancholy and allowing himself to be used as a tool for vengeance. He didn't have to worry about others. He didn't have to think about consequences. He didn't have to be bothered about the future. He had been living as a corpse driven by revenge. He hadn't needed to consider the future at all when he had been willing to die as long as it meant that he killed that woman. It had all been to uselessly appease his ghosts.

"A messenger has come. there's new about Duscar." Dimitri growled in a way that was re-mindful of his aggressive and feral state, causing Byleth's eyes to widen. He was a little happy to see that he could cause her to react; to make an expression other than her blank but also felt a little guilty by it as well. What could she think other than the fact that he was reverting to how he was when she had found him? It was the only thing he could conclude as he noticed how stiff her body was or the white-knuckle grip she had on the stone of the fort. Despite that, though, he didn't pull back from the hostile tone in his voice. "I will return to the monastery. I want you to join me."

He hadn't stated it as a question but Byleth nodded in answer anyway. They stared at each other with Dimitri breaking the silence when it started to grow awkward.

"Right. Good." He resisted the urge to cough just to add more noise between them and turned with a bit of a dramatic flair with his cloak. He stormed away with an aura of menace that instantly faded once he had turned the corner and was out of her sight only to be replaced by utter embarrassment.

_Why did I do that?! She probably thinks I'm regressing to my predatory feral state! What if... what if I succeeded in pushing her further away?_

Dimitri sighed and ran both of his hands over his face with an aggravated groan.

_I'm an idiot._

* * *

The soldiers were lively as they marched through the fields and the forests; laughing and joking. There was two circles of silence in a perfect diameter around Byleth and Dimitri, who traveled in different sections of the parade of troops. After their argument the previous day, and with the speed of spreading rumors, everyone in the army was convinced of the relationship between them. The soldiers that were outside of the areas of silence were making bets, first initiated by a certain red-head, on whether or not the two leaders would get back together and, if so, who would be the first to cave and apologize. So far it was 3 to 1 with Dimitri the losing side.

Dimitri hadn't come to any conclusion in his worried thoughts by the time they had stopped to camp for the night and he decided that he would take his mind off of his concerns he decided that he would help out with setting things up. He first offered his help to putting the tents together but after breaking three poles, two stakes, and a mallet in his distracted state, it was suggested that he find others in need of help. He found his way to food preparation but with his lack of taste the food ended up over-seasoned, under-seasoned, or burnt. He was chased away after that. Word must have spread quickly, because everyone else quickly, but politely, refused his offers of help.

With nothing to occupy him, his thoughts came back to plague his mind.

_I need some time to think. I need some time to think. I need some time to think. I need some time to think. I need some time to think. I need some time to think. I need some time to think._

Over and over those words echoed in his head. The night air cooled his skin as he paced through the camp while Byleth's words repeated consistently; more insistent than the accusing dead that tormented him. She hadn't been _avoiding_ him exactly but she hadn't sought him out and he had been so distraught by what she had said that he hadn't been able to approach her since asking her to come with him back to Garragh Mach. Whenever his eye was drawn towards her those words would repeat.

_I need some time to think._

What was there to even think about and for this long? Shouldn't it be simple?

_I need some time to think._

Her words were louder and more persistent than any of the vengeful dead that plagued him. Their voices were mere whispers compared to the strength behind Byleth's declaration that repeated over and over again. Consistent. Reverberating. Tormenting.

_I need some time to think._

"Hey, Board Prince." Felix called out, breaking the future king out of his thoughts. He had seen how distracted Dimitri had become and had decided that he would help... in his own way. "Spar with me."

Dimitri looked up Felix who stared at him with a flat look as he waited for the prince to make up his mind. After a moment, Dimitri turned to face his old friend fully.

"Lets."

* * *

No one really wanted to fight, even a false one, after the battle at the fort and the daylong march so there hadn't been an official training area set up in camp. Dimitri and Felix made due with a wide empty area at the edge of camp. Far enough that the camp wasn't in any danger but close enough that they had light from the campfires to see by.

The battle started slowly with the two of them circling each other. Dimitri was the first to make a move, stabbing forward with the training spear he had picked up for the fight. Dimitri outclassed Felix with strength and it would only take one or two hits for him to win. That was _if_ he could hit. Felix easily dodged the attack and sliced up at Dimitri who only just managed to block. Dimitri may have the strength but Felix had the dexterity to dodge and attack right after.

Back and forth they exchanged blows, evenly matched, as they ignored the soldiers and knights that looked their way, watching and making bets on who would be the winner.

Dimitri growled as he stabbed forward again and sliced sideways when Felix lept to the side, the swordsman bringing his sword up to take the brunt of the attack. Dimitri was pressing his advantage, the corner of his mouth lifting as the swordsman's feet began to slide along the grass at Dimitri leaned into his attack. With a grunt Felix angled his blade and caused Dimitri's spear to dig into the ground. Dirt exploded around them as the prince lifted his weapon quickly when his old friend attempted to counter.

It wasn't fast enough.

"Sloppy." Felix scolded with a scowl as he pulled his blade back to his side after having smacked Dimitri across the shoulders. There was a noticeable sting as Dimitri stood up and he scowled up at the sky at his own failure. "You're distracted."

"'_I need time to think_'. What does that mean?"

"Is that what she said?" A third voice asked and both of them looked towards Sylvain as he walked up to them with a careless wave of his hand. "That's never a good thing."

"What do you mean?" Dimitri asked with a slightly desperate note to his voice.

"Well, usually when a girl says that it means that she's considering breaking up." Sylvain as he gave his friend a sad look and a shake of his head. He really did feel bad for the Prince's first real breakup.

"W-what?"

"He _means_ that she's finally come to her senses and realized that she's better off without you." Felix added with a glare that was ignored. Dimitri was too distraught to hear what they said. There was no way, right? Byleth _loved_ him. She had said so. She had married him in another timeline. She wouldn't give all that up, would she? She wanted to still be with him right?

Sylvain had to be mistaken. Had to be... but if anyone had expertise of breaking up, it was Sylvain. How many times had Dimitri witnessed women breaking up with Sylvain? How many more had there been that he hadn't seen? If anyone knew that hose words were the end of a relationship, it was Sylvain.

Could it be true? Was Byleth truely going to separate herself from him? Was there anything he could do to convince her otherwise?

No, he shouldn't be so selfish. If she truly decided that she would be happier without him...

If she would be happier...

* * *

Byleth sat before one of the fires that had been set up throughout the camp to keep everyone warm in the cool of the night and to light up the darkness. Being further south, it was warmer than it would have been had they been in Garragh Mach but the nights were still chilly. None of that really mattered to Byleth at the moment. Even the war was far from her mind. Instead she was focused on what had happened between her and Dimitri. She was so frustrated with the fact that Dimitri kept throwing himself in harms' way to save her, he _knew_ what it did to her, and yet he never seemed to think about it. She knew that he acted more on instinct than thought when he moved to defend her and she knew she should take that into account but ever since her emotions had become more pronounced she had a hard time setting them aside to think about other's motivations clearly. She didn't have the practice that others did at controlling her emotions.

"May I have this seat?" Byleth looked up to see Seteth standing nearby, waving to the empty spot next to her. She gave a nod and scooted an inch in silent invitation. She said nothing as stared into the fire while Seteth gave a soft groan like the old man he was as he lowered himself into a seated position. They sat there in silence long enough for Byleth to wonder if Seteth was waiting for her to speak. Just as she was about to give in, Seteth spoke first.

"It wasn't exactly subtle." He began, nodding to the other side of the camp where a space had been left on the edge of camp and was currently taken by Felix and Dimitri as they fought each other in a spar that was friendly for them. Anyone who watched could see that Dimitri was throwing himself into the faux battle. He had the superiority in strength but Felix was dexterous enough to dodge almost every blow. It was a battle of brawn over finesse. "What are your plans?"

"I don't know..." Byleth answered softly. She really didn't. Her thoughts had hovered over the fact that perhaps... perhaps this had all been a mistake. Her husband Dimitri hadn't thrown himself in danger to save her until that night where he had died and she had to wonder if it was because they hadn't had an official relationship until he had proposed to her at the Goddess tower. By then the war had been over and there hadn't been any more battles to fight. So was it her fault? Was it because she couldn't keep her secret to herself? Was it because she couldn't carry the burden of knowledge alone? Was it because her desire to be loved overwhelmed her good sense?

"Well, what do you _want_?"

"I... I want..." What? What did she want? She _wanted_ to be with Dimitri. She still loved him. Still wanted to be his lover, his wife, his beloved. She _also_ wanted him to take better care of himself instead of throwing himself into danger every time there was a chance. "I still want to be with him... But I want him to _stop_. stop trying to _protect_ me every time he _thinks_ I'm in danger. I want him to be _safe_."

"No one can stay safe. Not in war." Seteth reminded her and she frowned at the truth he spoke. Just because he was right didn't mean he had to point it out to her.

"Funny hearing that from the person who called a medic when Flayn tripped." Byleth replied a bit more bitterly than she had intended. "You asked me what I wanted, not what was feasible."

"True. Now, the question is have you actually _talked_ to him about what it was you wanted?" Seteth asked and silence was his answer. He gave her a knowing smile at the obviousness of her quiet pout. "I believe a talk is in order, then."

"Talking doesn't always work."

"You won't know until you try. Sir Catherine was correct in one thing: Dimitri is a love-struck puppy. He will wag his tail happily for your smile."

Seteth's words startled a laugh out of her and Byleth raised a brow as she looked at the man she considered her uncle, her eyes glowing in the firelight

"You really think it's that easy?" She grinned at him when he gave her an even look that repeated his words as loudly as if he had said them out loud. _You won't know until you try._

"Seteth... Thank you." She spoke softly, blinking in some surprise as Seteth stared at her with an odd expression on his face. She was about to ask him about it but he spoke first.

"Byleth-."

"Byleth." A third voice interrupted them and brought both their attentions to Dimitri who stood before them; his appearance shrouded in shadow with his face cast in darkness from the campfire behind him.

"May we speak?"


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had this conversation all planned out... and the Byleth didn't want to follow the script. And when Byleth went off script, of course, Dimitri happily followed so nothing I had thought up fit well. So, finally, here's the big talk and it feels a little anti-climactic to me but... well, whatever.
> 
> Sorry it took a month to get out and as always, enjoy.
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate.  
***

"May we speak?"

  
There was a moment of silence as both of the men waited for Byleth's response, Dimitri letting out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding when she nodded.

  
"If you'll excuse me. I think it's about time I put your advice into practice." Byleth gave an uneasy smile to Seteth who waved her off; motioning for her to go ahead with Dimitri.

  
With Seteth's blessings, Byleth stood and followed Dimitri back towards the empty area that he and Felix had been using earlier to spar while trying to ignore the curious gazes of every eye that followed them. Dimitri was also aware of everyone's attention as he led her further away from the edge of camp than was strictly necessary so that there was little chance of them being overheard on accident.  
They stood in silence at the forest's edge as Byleth waited for Dimitri to gather his thoughts and start the conversation. He had been the first to approach her for this conversation so she felt that it was only respectful to let him begin when he was ready.

  
"Byleth..." His voice wasn't more than a murmur but enough to gain her attention. Dimitri had turned to look at her with a serious expression and she felt herself begin to shake as she resisted her fight or flight instincts that kicked in. It was a weird sensation to feel when she had faced him at his worse and had never felt the adrenaline rush she had now. Was it the situation she was currently in? Did she want to run from whatever had him looking so serious? Or was it something else that was pushing her? Something she couldn't name?

  
Dimitri must have noticed the slight shake to her hands, despite her gripping them together to hide the effect, and increased the distance between them by a step. It helped a little but only because She was distracted by how thoughtful his actions were. It was as if whatever had flooded her with adrenaline had realized that he was no threat to her.

  
"I know you said that you wanted time to think but I believe that this is important." He began in a carefully neutral voice. He may not have wanted to scare her, to drive her away, but his attitude that was borderline cold worried her all the same. She was surprised when he suddenly closed the distance between them in a single stride to grab her shoulders. "I will support you."

  
"Wha-?"

  
"I would rather not us separate but if that is what you truly wish for then I will step aside. I just want you to be happy. Even if you do finally decide that being with me will not bring you to that happiness, I hope we can at least still be comrades and, possibly, friends."  
"Dimit-." Byleth began but he didn't hear her words as he continued his quickly created speech, releasing her to pace in order to keep his mind on what he needed to say without faltering.

  
"I must be honest, though, that I cannot say I will be completely without hurt or envy for the next man you choose to share your life with; but I will endeavor not to allow my feelings get in the way of our friendship. You are my Beloved and I only wish the best for you even if it is not with me. I just- I- W-why are you crying?!" Dimitri nearly shouted, coming to a sudden stop when he glanced towards Byleth to gauge her reaction. Silent tears were not what he had been expecting. Tears weren't what Byleth expected either. He quickly closed the distance between them, reaching out for her, but his hands just hovered in the air between them as he hesitated, afraid that he would only make it worse.

  
"You're so stupid...." Byleth said as she wiped at her face; including herself as well as Dimitri in that statement. Even if he asked, she had no answer to give him because she had no idea why she was crying. Her eyes had suddenly burned and the tears had come before she could stop them. It was a miserable thought that her husband had only seen her cry once, maybe twice, in the several years they had been married and now this Dimitri had seen her cry at least 4 times in less than one. "Why would you think I wanted to separate from you?"

  
"W-well Sylvain said that... that when a woman says that she needs time to think, she's reevaluating the relationship... Thinking about leaving.... Was I wrong?"

  
"Maybe if it had been anyone else but I really did only need to think." Byleth answered with a shake of her head as she wiped at her face, trying desperately to stop her tears. 

  
"I... I see...." Dimitri said even though he really didn't. He was still unsure what she had to think about so much that it wold take all day if it hadn't been her seriously considering leaving him. He stood there as he waited for Bylth to calm down so she could speak without gasps or sobs breaking up her words. It was a bit uncomfortable mostly because he could feel the stares of the people from the camp and he could imagine the whispers that were spreading as they watched Byleth sob before him. "Is there anything I can do?"

  
"Yeah, you can stop throwing yourself into the way of danger!" Byleth snapped with a frown, sighing when her sudden spike of anger managed to dry away her tears more effectively than her previous attempts had. "I love you Dimitri. I don't want to be separated from you. I just don't want you to take any blows for me. If something happened to you... Even if I can fix it.... If something happened to you, I don't think I could stand it. I... I don't know what I would do."

  
"So I should just allow you to be harmed?" Dimitri asked a little bitterly. She was asking a lot from him. This felt like the same argument that they had had the day before with nothing new to add. "What you ask for is unfair. Do you realize how I felt when you were burned at Gondor Field? When we weren't sure that you would survive your injuries? We weren't lovers then and I still felt the potential loss keenly. I cannot promise that I won't try to protect you."

  
Byleth frowned at Dimitri's stubbornness but didn't say anything as he grabbed her shoulders again.

  
"I know how skillful you are and I know that you will not go down easily but that does not mean that I cannot try and keep you from harm if given the chance. If you dislike it so much then you can either keep yourself out of danger or...." Dimitri gave her a small smile to the glare she leveled at his suggestion. "You can protect me."

  
Any irritation that Byleth had felt slipped away at the cheeky grin he gave her with his proposition. It was unexpected and she laughed at the silliness of it but it was probably the best they were going to get. The war would be over soon and if he was going to throw himself into danger, then she would just have to throw herself into protecting him.

  
"That's probably the silliest thing I have ever heard." She told him with a small laugh, leaning her forehead against his chest. Taking this as acceptance to his words, Dimitri wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

  
"Thank the goddess..." He whispered, kissing Byleth when she looked up at him, having not quite heard what he had said. He would have laughed at her blush but instead he opted to glare at the soldiers that cheered, jeered, and wolfwhistled the kiss. His dark look was enough to send them all back to whatever they were doing before their curiosity got the better of them. Byleth, for her part, pressed herself against Dimitri and hiding herself in his cloak; embarrassed by the soldier's reactions.

  
"Well.... If they didn't know before...." Byleth said in a joking tone, even as her voice was muffled by her face pressed against his armor. "It's pretty obvious that they know now."

* * *

  
Everyone was glad when they had returned to the monastery and the comforts it provided: warm baths, good food, comfortable beds.  
it was in the dining hall in which Gilbert found Byleth. From the number of empty plates that surrounded her, her appetite was as hardy as ever.

  
"Is he ready?" Byleth asked while the knight was distracted by the sheer amount of food that the professor always managed to put away.

  
"Ah, yes. He asked that you join him."

  
"Then I'll head over now." Byleth replied as she stood and reached for the many plates spread around her seat, stopping when Gilbert held out his hand to pause her.

  
"I'll help. He wanted us both there."

  
"Thank you." Byleth smiled while Gilbert looked at the mass of empty plates and wondered just where she put it all.

* * *

  
"I cannot overlook your reckless remarks. Are you really so keen to lose your head?" Byleth walked into Dimitri's angry words. He spared her a glance when she stepped up next to him, Rodrigue on his other side where Gilbert took his spot.

  
"I only did what I believed was right. I swear to the goddess that I'm not lying. Amidst the Tragedy, Lady Patricia was supposed to be the only one who was unharmed. We had been given orders ahead of time not to approach her carriage...."

  
"Was Patricia an accomplice?" Byleth asked. This was one of the rare moments that she didn't remember. Perhaps it was because it was an odd conversation that didn't have much impact on the end of the war or any of the reformations that happened afterward. She didn't know why, but her mind had pushed this conversation completely out of her head.

  
"Of course not. What would my stepmother have had to gain from such a -."

  
"Perhaps Lady Patricia would have done anything to return to the Empire... to her husband and daughter." Gilbert interrupted and Dimitri scowled at what was being hinted at.

  
"For the past few months, I've been spying on lords who defected to the Empires in order to investigate rumors about Lady Patricia." Gilbert gave Dimitri an apologetic look. "Cornelia's words were true. The two of them... I am afraid they conspired together, after all."  
"Enough of this nonsense. You say she wished to return home? That isn't nearly enough reason to cause such a tragedy."

Dimitri scowled, the familiar growl from those first few months returning, causing both Gilbert and Rodrigue to flinch at its sound. Gilbert straightened, trying to hide his reaction that had been obvious because it had been mirrored by Rodrigue, tried to explain.

  
"I do not intent to imply that the two of them were solely responsible for the whole affair. There were likely nobles who apposed the king, or potentially someone who wanted to throw the Kingdom into chaos. The Empire, and people like Solon and Kronya, had their motives, too." 

  
"So, my stepmother joined with them to cause the tragedy... Is that what you believe?"

  
"Ultimately, this is just conjecture based on the evidence at hand. I have no idea what their true intentions were." Gilbert answered as he held his hands out, palms up, in an attempt to pacify his angry king.

  
"I see. We will hear what this man has to say. For now...."

  
"My lord had long felt that King Lambert's radical ways were dangerous." The prisoner started with little prompting. "At the time, he was approached with an offer to take part in the incident at Duscur... My lord loves his homeland. To me, he embodied justice. We were only doing what we thought was right."

  
"And so, In the name of justice, he caused massacre upon massacre out of love for his homeland. You murdered your own king, killed our soldiers, and involved innocent citizens. And yet you have the gall to speak of justice?"

  
"I am only standing before you now because I could no longer bear the weight of my sins." The prisoner confessed while maintaining eye contact with Dimitri's cold glare.

  
"Do you regret your actions?" Byleth asked as she took a subtle step closer to Dimitri for two reasons: the first being to give Dimitri support in response to the obvious unease that Rodrigue and Gilbert showed. The second was so she could easily step in if Dimitri decided to attack though she doubted he would. She had no memory of him doing so before but there was always the chance that her choices could change something. Rodrigue standing on his other side was proof of that.

"No. I accept your hatred, and even the punishment of death, but I still believe it was a massacre in the name of justice."

  
"Gilbert. Lock this man in his cell." Dimitri scowled and Byleth reached out to take his hand, coaxing him to open his fist so she could thread her fingers with his, and ignoring the pain his grip gave. He needed this.

  
"Are you not... going to kill him?" Gilbert hesitated in case the prince suddenly changed his mind and suddenly lashed out.

  
"I will make that decision once I have had time to consider this man's definition of justice."

  
"Yes, Your Highness." Gilbert gave a slight bow and lifted the prisoner from his kneeling position and led him out of the room. Silence blanketed the room after his departure. Rodrigue looked as if he wanted to say something but was unsure if he should with Dimitri glaring at the spot the prisoner had occupied. After a moment he released Byleth's hand and strode out of the room.

  
"I had... suspicions..." Rodrigue sighed heavily, breaking the silence that surrounded them. "But never anything as concrete as a confession. That Patricia, Dimitri's step-mother, had a hand in the tragedy. Conjecture was all I had. Perhaps having him interact with the prisoner was a mistake."

  
"Why?"

  
"Could you imagine what it would be like to find out that the woman you thought as a mother, the only mother you have ever known, was a part of a plan that resulted in the death of your father, guards, and so many innocent people? A whole country destroyed by one woman." Rodrigue said as he faced her, giving her an appealing expression. "Please. Keep an eye on him. I have a fear that this may cause him to backslide."

* * *

  
It was dark when she found him in front of the alter. Byleth had waited on purpose to give him time to calm down and so that their conversation wouldn't be interrupted or overheard as everyone else would be heading to their beds.

  
"Are you OK?" Byleth asked though she knew the answer.

  
"No... I can't say that I am." Dimitri replied softly, turning to face her as he asked his question. "Tell me, Professor... How well do you remember your father, Jeralt?"

  
She remembered this question. She remembered her previous answer. She had told him that yes, she remembered her father well. She remembered the smell of steel and oil as he patiently taught her how to wield a sword. How he would laugh whenever she replied with a deadpan remark to something another mercenary said. How he would ruffle her hair or how he used to pick her up so she could ride his shoulder when she was still a child.

  
Now... now the answer was different. She had so many more years to fade her memories. She couldn't remember the color of his eyes. She remembered his laugh but not the sound of his voice. She forgot everyday interactions. Banal conversations. Easy-going days.... they were all fading away.

  
"Not very well."

  
"I figured as much. Even the memory of those who pass away is taken from those they left behind. Little by little. Year by year." Dimitri sighed and closed his eye. "To be honest, I cannot really remember my stepmother's... that woman's smile. Nor the sound of her voice. I always told myself that I would not allow my mind to forget. And yet... all I can recall with clarity is her gazing away, so forlorn. Did my stepmother wish to go home so badly that she would kill Father and me... kill her false family?"

  
Dimitri's expression took on a contemplative look.

  
"Home... to her own blood. Her true family."

  
"I don't have those answers." Byleth answered his unspoken question. She could see that he was wondering if his step-mother never thought of him and his father as part of her family. She stepped closer and he willingly welcomed her into his arms, resting his cheek on the top of her head as he sighed again.

  
"I suppose it doesn't make any difference now. I am asking you questions you could not possibly know the answer to. I am finished with thoughts like that. I am finally able to go on living without clinging to hate. If I truly treasure those who have died, then I must earnestly atone for my sins."

  
Byleth gave him a little squeeze in silent support and she felt him shift so he could place a light kiss to her hair in thanks, his voice slightly muffled.

  
"Father, Glenn, all if the soldiers who have fallen... The people of Duscur who still suffer persecution... The only atonement I can offer them now is to take responsibility for this broken Kingdom that has been entrusted to me. That is why I must meet with Edelgard and try to talk to her. Do you think it's a fool's errand? Honestly... I think so too."

  
"No, I don't think that." She murmured with a slight shake of her head. She couldn't see his expression nor him hers but they both seemed to know that they were supported. "I understand. You need to ask her about the future she's fighting for."

  
"Yes.... For what she aims for after her domination is complete. What kind of justice she clings to ask she fights. And why she felt it necessary to start this war... I believe that asking her these things is the true responsibility I have been tasked with as king."

  
"Send her your message. I'm sure she will agree to meet with you." Byleth spoke with the confidence of someone who had been through this before and Dimitri gave a soft laugh at her assurance. Somehow it was comforting to him to know that Byleth had lived through this before. Her conviction gave him strength.

  
"You know, Beloved... When we fought in Fhirdiad, Cornelia mocked me and called me pitiful. But even if it is true that my stepmother never loved me, I am not to be pitied. After all, I have allies and dear friends who care for me. And now, I also have you by my side."  
Byleth allowed herself to smile at his words, looking up at him when she felt his grip around her loosen, and eagerly returned the kiss he gave her. She knew, with this, that everything was going to be alright.


	18. Chapter 16 and a half

David was one of the new recruits that had marched to Garreg Mach under the orders of Margrave Gautier. He had lived in Faerghus all his life and knew all the rumors that were spread. He had heard about how the prince had been accused of killing his uncle, about how he fled, about how he became a demon in human form able to kill battalions of men sent to hunt him down and come out victorious. David had also heard that there was a beauty that had tamed the beast.

Of course, just because he had heard these rumors didn't mean he really believed them. There was no way a single man could take on a full battalion and survive by himself. It was also a bit of a silly thought to think that the love of a pretty woman could change a man half-mad.

They were nice stories, granted, but unrealistic.

David walked through the camp that had been set up for the night. They were marching for Enbarr and would arrive in a few days. It was bit of a scary thought that they would soon be going into battle but it was nice to think that this would be the last. The war should end after they take the Emperor's head.

It was nice that their army allowed women. It would have been too depressing to go however long without seeing or talking with the fairer sex. And if one decided to spend a little _extra_ time with him after hearing how this will be his first real battle and how he's afraid that he may die without really accomplishing anything... well, all the better.

David paused when a shining green caught his eye and he did a double take. There was a woman sitting by a fire; pretty and thin and _that chest_. Marvelous Yeah, she was the one.

He approached slowly, as if he was just meandering and not heading towards her with a goal in mind, before sliding into a seated position about an arm's length away from her. She spared him a glance and not much else. After a little consideration, David opened with a heavy sigh.

"It'll be nice... That this may be the last battle."

"Yes."

"It's funny. My first battle will be the last. I just hope... no, it's silly." David shook his head, keeping the woman in view from the corner of his eye. Once her beautiful emerald eyes focused on him he knew he had her.

"What do you consider silly?"

"I just hope that this isn't going to be _my_ last battle, you know? I'm a fresh recruit. Thought I would help my country. Only Faerghus should rule Faerghus. But... My poor mother wasn't all thta happy when I did. See, my father died and I have no siblings. I'm the only one who can carry on my family name should something happen to me."

"That _is_ a shame." The woman nodded in sympathy and David figured that it was safe enough to slide a bit closer. She was beautiful in the flicker of the campfire, her eyes seeming to glow as they caught the light, and her chest... absolutely stunning.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm happy to fight for my kingdom and country. I will gladly lay down my life to see an end to this war so that no one else will suffer. It's just a little intimidating, is all."

"It can be."

"You know, you're really nice to talk to. I was wondering if-."

"What is going on?" A third voice broke in and David froze from his subtle leaning towards the woman he was now sitting right beside. That third voice was low, cold, and held an audible growl. The soldier turned his head slowly to look towards the intimidating figure that was blocking the light from the campfire, glaring down at David with death in his eyes.

"Y-your Highness...?"

"Oh, Dimitri." The woman called out with a soft smile that lit up her face in a way that told David that the polite ones she had been giving him had been just that: polite. "This nice young man was just telling me how he's the only one that can carry on his family name and his poor mother had lost everyone else. Perhaps we should move him the back of the lines?"

"Is that so? I was thinking the _front-lines_." The future king growled but his menacing aura instantly faded when the woman held her arms out and he moved over to lift her easily and set her on his lap. He shifted his cloak so that she was effectively covered and hidden away except for her face that was surrounded by fur. David quickly stood and gave the two of them a bow.

"I'm sorry for disturbing your evening." He apologized quickly. How was he supposed to know that this beautiful woman with the amazing chest was the beauty the rumors talked about? Without a backwards glance the soldier quickly made his escape. It was a shame to lose such a _nice_ chest, though.

* * *

"He was a nice young man." Byleth laughed lightly as the obvious pout on Dimitri's face as he murmured '_I bet_' and other complaints under his breath. The man's intentions had been obvious. She had only been giving him the barest of attention but it'd been enough to raise his unwanted interest. The soldier was about to get a rude awakening if he had pressed his luck; Byleth had planned to literally knock him on his ass. She didn't need to, though, because Dimitri had appeared.

His jealousy was so plainly obvious that Byleth couldn't let the opportunity slip away. She acted nice and smiled happily as she explained the young man's plight, trying not to laugh outright when Dimitri not so subtly threated to put the man in the line of fire.

Byleth looked up at the grumpy king whose lap she currently occupied and kissed his chin; grinning when he looked down at her.

"You're still my favorite."

* * *

David was given his assignment the next day. Latrine duty for the foreseeable future. It wasn't a pretty job but at least it wasn't a death sentence. Still... that was one heck of a chest.


	19. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? An Update? What is this miracle?
> 
> This chapter was so hard to write for me which is stupid because half of it came from the game almost word for word! What the heck me?
> 
> The next chapter is the end of the war. The next chapter should be easier to write. Fingers Crossed.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this long-awaited chapter.
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate.

* * *

They stood in a field outside of Enbarr, far enough away from the city and the kingdom camp so that reinforcements from either side would have a hard time sneaking up to the meeting. Dimitri was nervous though he tried not to show it. Not that it mattered. From the small smile on Byleth's face, he figured she knew anyway.

"Do you think Edelgard will show up?" He asked to break the silence. Anything to take his mind away from the meeting for a moment and calm him of his nervousness. He knew that she would, Byleth had said so before, but he asked anyway just so he had something to focus on other than the heavy silence that came with their weight.

"She will." Byleth said with such confidence that Dimitri would have believed her even if it had been a lie. Dimitri opened his mouth to say something else but was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Well, well. It's been a long time, Professor. And hello to you too, Dimitri." Edelgard walked towards them with Hubert at her side. As agreed upon, they had each brought only one person to the meeting. Dimitri's choice was and would always be Byleth while it was easily guessed why Edelgard would choose her most loyal subject. No one who spoke with him would ever doubt the fact that Hubert would gladly throw his life away if it was for Edelgard.

"Edelgard. I did not think you would actually accept my request." Dimitri stated simply. It was true that he had doubted. After all, who would have been crazy enough to accept what would essentially be a one on one meeting with an enemy commander? The chances of it being a trap were too high. Rodrigue and Gilbert had been dead set against the idea. They had tried everything to convince Dimitri to give up such a foolish plan. It was only with Byleth's absolute support and confidence that he was even standing here now, forcing Rodrigue to bend if not Gilbert.

"Call it a whim. Well then? What did you want to talk about?" Edelgard asked a bit impatiently as she frowned at the two of them; particularly Dimitri. She didn't see the point in his calling her out but curiosity had gotten the better of her. It was one of two reasons she had shown. The other had been to see if the professor truely was well after the incident at Gronder Field. Edelgard had feared that she had died there but rumors from following battles had put that worry to rest.

"I will get straight to the point. Why did you start this war? There had to be a way to change things in your territory without the need for so many senseless casualties."

"It may be hard to believe, but this is the way that leads to the fewest casualties in the end. Don't you see?" Edelgard asked rhetorically. She knew that Dimitri could not see what she did, had no idea what she had been through, and would never understand. She didn't see much point in even trying to explain how the church had been the inadvertent cause of everything that had happened to her and her siblings.

"How could I? Countless people have already lost their lives in this conflict." Dimitri pointed out passionately. He, himself, had taken some of those lives. She had thrown her armies against him and he had killed them in return. He had happily hunted them down in his maddened state until Byleth and Rodrigue had managed to pull him out of it. Now he had regrets piled on regrets but he was determined to try and correct some of the wrongs he had committed, hoping against hope that Edelgard would help him put the violence and war aside for the betterment of the common people.

"The longer we took to revolt, the more victims this crooked world would have claimed. I weighed the victims of war against the victims of the world as it is now, and I chose the former. I believe that I have chosen the best path, the only path."

"Even after seeing the faces of those who have suffered the ravages of war, you would still force them to throw their lives away for the future? You are obsessively devoted to this war and deaf to the screams of its victims. You cannot change the cycle of the strong dominating the weak with a method like that."

"You're wrong. That very cycle is exactly what I have devoted my life and my power to destroying." Edelgard tried hard not to scowl at Dimitri's blindness to her point of view. "If after all of this you believe the weak will still be weak, that is only because they are too used to relying on others instead of on themselves."

"Yes, Perhaps someone as strong as you are can claim something like that. But you cannot force that belief onto others. People aren't as strong as you think they are. There are those who cannot live without their faith... and those who cannot go on once they have lost their reason for living. Your path will not be able to save them. It is the path of the strong, and so, it could only benefit the strong."

As they spoke Byleth bit her lip. There was so much she had wanted to refute. She had so many arguments that she had thought up over the years as she laid awake at night; going over the conversation over and over again, wondering if there was anything she could say that would change Edelgard's mind, that could end the war without any more death. Despite all that, Byleth stayed silent. This was _their_ conversation. She would let them say what they needed to say, even though she knew that neither one would give way to the other. Both of them were too stubborn to give up their ideals.

"Heh, so you consider me strong?" Edelgard murmured with a mocking smile, continuing with a shake of her head. "Even if one clings to their faith, the goddess will never answer them. Countless souls will be lost that way. living without a purpose. And I can be counted among those who have died that way as well. But that is why I must change this world, on behalf of the silent and weak!"

"And do you intend to become a goddess yourself? Will you steal the power to take action from the broken-hearted masses you claim to defend? The ones you can truly change the way of the world are not the rulers, but the people. Pushing your own sense of justice and your own ideals onto even one other person is nothing more than self-righteousness."

"Maybe it is self0righteousness, but it doesn't matter. Someone has to take action and put a stop to this world's endless, blood-stained history!"

"Do you not believe in the power of the people to join together and rise up? Humans are weak creatures. But they are also creatures who help each other, support each other, and together, find the right path." Dimitri glanced towards the professor, giving her to briefest of smiles before focusing on his step-sister again. "I learned that humans are capable of all that from the professor... and from everyone in my life."

"I doubt a highborn person like yourself could know how the poor feel or what motivates them." Byleth had to release her lip when she tasted blood because she had somehow pierced skin. As Byleth was, she couldn't say what Edelgard had been through, but she was the _emperor_. She had been the princess of one of the three ruling bodies of Fodlan. Who was she to say that to Dimitri? Byleth was no one of noble birth and neither was Dedue; and both of them were the closest people to him. Who did Edelgard have? Hubert? Another noble?

Byleth struggled to keep her expression neutral.

"This is nonsense. Though, I'm finally starting to understand how you feel. But that makes it even clearer to me that we can never fully understand each other."

"I feel the same. I finally understand... what you believe is right." Dimitri agreed in a somber tone.

"Good-bye, Dimitri."

"Wait, Edelgard. There is something I must give you." Dimitri called out as he stepped forward and held out a dagger, handle first, towards his step-sister. "This is for you. Use it to cut a path to the future you wish for. And I will rise up to meet you there... El."

Any of the disappointment and anger Byleth held slipped away at the surprised expression Edelgard held that shifted to sorrowful nostalgia as she took the blade.

"I... I remember now. You gave me a dagger all those years ago."

"Heh, I'm still sorry about that. I should have given you something that wouldn've made you happier."

"Perhaps. At the time, I was quite flustered by such a dangerous gift. I left without giving you a proper response... and that was the last time we saw each other."

"True. It is a sweet memory with a bitter ending." For once they weren't standing there as the leaders of their respective armies. They were old friends reminiscing about their childhood.

"I'm afraid it will do no good reminisce, Dimitri. That girl you knew back then is gone. As good as dead. But... I'll tell you now what I wasn't able to tell you back then. Thank you. My dear, forgotten friend... because of you, I never lost my heart.

As for the future... that will be decided in battle. King of Faerghus. As the emperor, I shall await your arrival in Enbarr."

"Edelgard, wait!" Byleth spoke up, taking a step forward. Hubert, being protective, stepped sideways to block her if she kept after the emperor. Both Byleth and Edelgard stopped. Byleth stared at the current Emperor's back. Her back was straight and her shoulders stiff, telling the professor that she was waiting for whatever the professor would say to try and convince her, ready to refute whatever it is.

No matter what Byleth said, nothing would get through to her. She had made her choice and she was going to stand next to it. As she stood there stiffly, Byleth realized another problem. Perhaps if they had met earlier, if she had had more time to try and convince her, Edelgard would be able to be willing to stop but no... she couldn't. Too many had died, too much blood had been shed for her to give up now.

And she _knew _that one of them wouldn't be getting out of the war alive. If for whatever reason one of the leaders should surrender to the other, it could only go one of two ways: People upset by the death of their family and friends would demand the execution of the fallen commander or the people still loyal would attempt to free the imprisoned sovereign that would eventually cause civil war once again.

Edelgard had always been clever and proficient. Surely she would have come to the same conclusion. When Dimitri held out his hand to her, she would smile at his silly idealism of a peaceful future that she could never see, and then she would force his hand with the very same dagger he had given her.

It was inevitable.

"I'm sorry..." Byleth spoke softly, watching as the stiffness in Edelgard's body slip away and her head turned some as if she was about to turn around, stopping with her back still facing the two of them, speaking after a moment of silence.

"Me too." With those last words, Edelgard walked away, towards her destiny.

* * *

"Byelth!" A familiar voice called out, pausing Byleth three steps from her tent, bringing her gaze to Seteth who was headed her way in a hurried manner that wasn't quite a jog. He slowed to a stop before her as he gave a generic wave at nothing while he explained what brought him searching for her. It must have been hard to find her right away since she had taken a walk through the camp to put into order the doubts that plagued her. "I saw Dimitri speaking with Rodrigue and Gilbert."

Seteth's expression showed concern as he leaned closer to get a better look at her face.

"You look tired."

"It's... It's been a long day." Byleth sighed heavily and rubbed at the area between her brows. "We just got back from the talk with Edelgard. She's just as stubborn as we thought she would be."

Byleth looked up and gave a sympathetic smile at Seteth's wince. Of everyone, he would be the person who would have the greatest resentment towards the current emperor; She was the cause of the war, the attack on Garragh Mach, and his sister Rhea's capture.

"You have my condolences."

"It's just..."Byleth hesitated, hugging herself. "I just keep thinking about 'what ifs'. What if I had gone and Talked to Edelgard earlier? What if I had gone straight to the empire when I woke up? What if I tried harder to convince her to stop the war?"

"If you had we would not be where we are currently. Dimitri would not have changed for the better. Every life you have saved through your insight would have been lost. Thinking about what could have been is a dangerous slope to rest on. It's too easy to slip and lose sight of everything that you have accomplished." Seteth reached out and rested a hand on her shoulder in comforting touch. "I am glad you are here with us."

"Thank you, Seteth. It's good to hear sometimes."

They took a moment to dwell in silent solidarity and taking comfort in each other's presence as family. Byleth was the first to break the silence.

"I'm sorry. You were looking for me, was there something you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes, of course. I wanted to ask you about-."

"Byleth." Again they were interrupted by Dimitri as he walked up to the two, pausing when he noticed Seteth. Byleth drew his eyes so readily that he hadn't noticed the older man at first. "Seteth. I apologize. Am I interrupting?"

Seteth opened his mouth to speak but paused as he looked between the two lovers before closing his mouth with a snap of teeth followed by a sigh.

"No, Nothing so important that it cannot wait. Good evening Your Highness. Byleth." Seteth bowed to them before turning to walk away. They watched him go a few moments then the two of them entered their tent. After their relationship had been revealed many of the people in the army, particularly their close friends, had decided to set up a large tent they designated as Byleth and Dimitri's so they could spend every night together; not that either of them minded. If anything, they found that the fact that so many people were willing to accept their love to be a spot of hope.

As they took their armor off, Byleth was reminded of how deft Dimitri was at removing his armor as he had stripped himself down to the slacks and shirt he wore underneath before she could finish taking off the last of hers, slipping his now bare hands around her waist to pull her back flush against him. She always enjoyed the open affection he showed her and happily leaned back against his warmth as he peppered kisses to her hair and shoulders but his fingers sliding against her stomach caused her to sigh heavily, gaining her lover's attention.

"What's wrong, Beloved?"

"Oh, no, it's stupid." She warned him with a derisive laugh. "I was just thinking that perhaps I should start cutting down on how much I eat. I've been gaining weight."

Dimitri blinked in surprise at her words and pulled back so he could look at her. As far as he could see her midriff was as flat as ever and it was only with a thorough inspection did he notice that her waist did indeed curve but it was hardly noticeable. He hadn't. It was certainly nothing that would normally cause worry.

It was only when Byleth shifted uncomfortably under the piercing gaze that he realized that he had messed up. Sylvain had warned him about this; that should a woman mention her weight a man was to never _ever _agree. That it was a trap that would only cause a fight.

But then... the last time Sylvain had given him sure advice it had turned out to be wrong for Byleth. He knew that she wasn't like the average woman but still... she was a woman. Surely she would be just as hurt by him agreeing that she had gained weight?

"Dimitri." Byleth called to him with a smile in her tone when she recognized the panic on his face. "It's alright. Let's just go to bed. We have a big day tomorrow."

She took his hand and led him towards the cot that they shared, curling up against his firm body. They laid there under the thing blanket, just holding each other in silence as they waited for sleep.

"Byleth. You're beautiful." Dimitri murmured into the dark, his hold on her tightening to pull her closer against him. She had already told him that he didn't need to worry about such things but she loved him for it. She wiggled to loosen his hold enough for her to lean up and kiss him. She hadn't been lying when she had said that they had a big day coming up but right now she didn't mind losing some sleep to the pleasure of Dimitri's touch. Worries could wait and

Tomorrow would be the battle of Enbarr. Tomorrow would be the end of the war.


	20. Chapter 18

They stood inside the castle now with the last of Edelgard's forces between them and the end. Hubert had given his life trying to keep them out; hoping to stop them even as they knocked on the door of the Empire's last stronghold.

They tempered their hope with realistic expectations. The army didn't want to have come this far just to die and Byleth had pounded into their heads that they had to be careful. After all, just like an animal, a person was the most vicious when backed into a corner and this was the corner for Edelgard. She had her back to the wall and she _would_ bite.

It had been all carefully planned out with the knowledge she had given them so they could take in every eventuality. Byleth knew by heart what they were going to do. They had gone over it over and over again. There was no way they could mess this up. They would win.

She truly believed that.

Then she had seen them.

Byleth saw the men in the dark robes in the courtyard with the monstrous beast and she realized that she recognized them. She _recognized_ them. _She recognized them_.

Burning anger hotter than any fire scorched her and her vision became hyper-focused, tunneling until all she could see was the men in black, not even hearing the voices of the others as they shouted her name behind her.

In a matter of moments, she was cutting down the first of the black-robed men despite his attempts to block and dodge. He died under the weight of her rage and sword. It wasn't enough. They would all fold before her anger. They would all bow to her vengeance. They would all die.

"Myson's dead!" She heard someone scream and she saw the power build up around the ones that remained as they readied to teleport away. She went to race after them, to kill them before they could escape, but was stopped by a rough grip on her arm, pulling her back.

"Byleth!" Dimitri shouted as he held her back and like a splash of cold water his voice extinguished the burning rage that had been pulsing through her veins. She realized that she had messed up. The carefully constructed plans that they had gone over again and again to keep everyone safe and mitigate the number of lives that would fall had taken every possibility into account except for one: Byleth.

"I- I'm sorry." Byleth apologized, gasping in surprise when Dimitri pulled her into a half-hug, the rough cool feel of his armor grounded her and she had to keep herself from clinging to his comfort.

"I understand." He told her and she believed him. Of all the people in all of the world, Dimitri was the one person who _would_ understand the feeling of unrelenting rage and the need for vengeance. Byleth hadn't ever thought she would have been grateful for Dimitri's past and the hardships he had had to endure. If given a choice, she wouldn't have wanted him to go through such things, but for this brief moment, she understood him better than she ever did before.

"Hey lovebirds!" Sylvain's shout cut through their moment, drawing their attention back to the battle at hand and Byleth realized that the others were still dealing with the beast that had gone mostly ignored by her as she had chased down the black-robed assassins. "We could use some help here!"

* * *

The battle was over. Edelgard sat on her knees before them as the dark corruption evaporated like ash, a defeated look on her face. She looked up as Dimitri held out his hands towards her.

"El..." He murmured, giving her one last chance. A smile, one that was a little sad, came to her face as she looked up at the only living sibling she had left; at his foolish kindness, his need to try and save her despite everything she had done, all the lives lost that she had been the cause of.

Edelgard forced his hand.

Her hand slipped back under her cape and Byleth flinched, knowing what was coming but knew it had to happen. She remembered her husband had said he hadn't regretted what happened that day. That it was a necessary exchange between family, between enemies, between them. He would forever carry the scar as a reminder of the past, even if he does lose feeling in three of his fingers. In his opinion, it was worth it.

The knife flew through the air to dig into Dimitri's shoulder while the end of his spear dug into her gut. The melancholy edge to her smile vanished into a brilliant grin before she slumped over, her life ebbing away with the intense red that slowly spread around her still form. Dimitri grunted as he pulled the dagger free and let it fall with a clatter next to the body that was slowly growing colder.

After a moment he turned and walked towards the door with Byleth. At the threshold, Byleth looked back, to see if he would turn back like he had the last time they were here. He hesitated a moment but his eye didn't turn away from the light that filtered in through the door. Instead, bright blue focused on Byleth's green and he held his hand out towards her, threading his fingers with hers, and stepped out of the throne room with her, hand in hand.

The gaze of the others turned to them when they exited and Byleth looked for Manuela, motioning towards the slowly seeping blood coming from Dimitri's shoulder.

"He's been injured, could you look at him?"

"Of course." Manuela nodded as she moved over to Dimitri's side so she could lead him to a chair and force him to bare his shoulder. While she worked at getting the stubborn man to take his shoulder piece off, Byleth walked over to the rest of the Blue Lions, gripping her hands together in a tight grip before looking at the uneasy expressions they all held, the same ones they had had ever since she had rushed off in a killing rage.

"I... should apologize. I shouldn't have rushed like that. I nearly ruined everything and worse... I put you all in danger. I'm so sorry."

For a moment no one said anything. The others gave each other glances, waiting for some sort of unseen signal. Felix was the first to break the awkward silence with a click of his tongue.

"Tch, I knew you were an impulsive fool the day you ran right into an obvious trap 5 years ago." The swordsman said with a half-hearted wave and just like that the spell of unease was broken. The others relaxed and even smiled at their professor in support.

"Well, I guess this just means that the Professor and his Highness are perfect for each other." Mercedes joked with a soft giggle. Ashe grinned and nodded as he spoke.

"You've always been there for us, Professor, so it was time we did the same."

"Everyone... Thank you." Byleth sighed happily, glad that her students didn't see her differently. The relief was brief, though, as Seteth stepped up towards her, his expression grim.

"Byleth." He called and she knew what he was asking without him saying. She knew where Rhea was being kept and he wanted her to lead him to her so they didn't have to search the whole palace.

"Right, I'm coming." She nodded and glanced at Dimitri to make sure he was doing alright. His shoulder was exposed to the nurse. He looked up and noticed Byleth's gaze, giving her a slight smile and nod, saying without words that he'll be fine and that she should go. With that, Byleth returned the nod and led Seteth through the halls. The fact that Sir Catherine, Shamir, and Cyril followed them didn't escape her notice.

She led them through the pristine halls; facing no resistance as the news of the Empire's fall had spread quickly and the soldiers that had survived had quickly surrendered. Five years of war was more than enough for even the most blood-thirsty or patriotic person. On and on they walked, down into the dungeon, passed empty and filthy cells, coming to a stop before a wall near the back.

It had taken them forever to find the secret chamber the first time they had gone through this, slowly piecing together the clues that Edelgard and Hubert had left behind to Rhea's whereabouts, but they didn't need to go through that hassle this time. Byleth already knew how to get in.

"Stay here." Byleth ordered their three tag-a-longs. She didn't need them getting in the way and getting angry at the sight that they would behold. Seteth and Byleth slipped inside and even knowing what they would find, Byleth felt her heart clench at the sight. Before she had fallen over that cliff, the last thing she had seen was Rhea as a mighty dragon. Now the archbishop was in her human form; dirty and torn up. It was probably to give the people in the black robes as little to work with as possible.

The brilliant green of Rhea's hair was dull and matted, the white archbishop gown was dark with blood and filth, and Rhea was thin; little more than skin over bones. Dark bruises over her arms marked the traces of blood drawn and there were areas of healing skin where the black-robed men had skinned parts away for testing or whatever else they used it for.

The last time Rhea had been conscious but nearly unresponsive; her eyes dull as Seteth, Flayn, and Byleth had all worked to help her recover. It had taken a month before she had spoken a word and several more before she had started doing things independently again. Her retirement to Zanado had seemed to help from what Byleth had seen whenever she had visited but she had never really been the same again.

Expecting the same, Byleth was surprised when the archbishop's eyes focused on her own, Rhea's hands lifting to caress each of the professor's cheeks, surprising her when she spoke.

"Your eyes... They glow..." Byleth's eyes widened at the fact that Rhea had acted, had spoken, had done something out of alignment to the last time she had been through this. Usually, the only changes in people had been when Byleth had interacted or interfered in some way but she hadn't with Rhea. She hadn't done anything different from the last time so why had Rhea done something different from the last time?

Her answer came when Seteth stepped forward and gently took Rhea's hands, helping her to her feet.

"I haven't had a chance to talk to her about that yet." He told the weakened woman quietly, the sound of his words carrying through the silence of the cell to Byleth's ears. He led Rhea into the waiting arms of Sir Catherine, Shamir, and Cyril. By the expressions on their faces in Edelgard wasn't already dead they would have killed her again and much more brutally than the death she had received.

"Seteth." Byleth called to him in that tone that only teachers and mothers knew how to emulate. She could see the flinch he tried to hide as he pretended that he didn't hear her while he gave instructions to the Archbishop's three retreating escorts. "Seteth. What was she talking about? What did she mean about my eyes glowing?"

"Perhaps we should move somewhere less... dreary?"

_"Seteth!"_

"Fine." The green-haired man sighed heavily and turned to face the younger woman with an even expression while he steeled himself for a conversation he didn't want to have but knew was needed. "Let me ask you this: Have you noticed an increase in your appetite?"

Byleth gave him a flat look. Had it been anyone else they might have been able to give him an answer but Byleth was quite infamous for how much she could put away. Who would have noticed if there was more than normal? She wouldn't have.

"Alright, then what about severe changes in mood?" Byleth sighed and had been about to dismiss his questions as a waste of time when the incident upstairs came to the forefront of her mind and she paused. She had just been so angry and it had come so suddenly she hadn't had time to reign herself in. Other such incidents slowly made their way into her mind; Her sudden anger at Dimitri putting himself in harm's way to protect her, the way tears came unbidden when they made up, or how, before that, when Dimitri had come to demand that she return to Garrag Mach with him, she had had to keep a tight grip on the fort just to keep herself from jumping him right then and there. It wouldn't have mattered if they had had an audience or not, she would have stripped him of his armor and made him hers.

Her expression must have said something because Seteth nodded and continued.

"Those aren't common symptoms but they are ones that Rhea and I have seen before, coupled with the glowing eyes." Seteth explained while crossing his arms and leaning against the rusty metal bars. "They're things that we have seen in our mother... while she carried our siblings."

"What are you saying?" Byleth asked a little breathlessly; afraid of his answer.

"What I'm saying is that you're... with child..." If Seteth said anything else Byleth didn't hear him. She couldn't hear anything over the dull roar in her ears from her blood rushing through her veins. Her vision blurred and her legs gave out, causing her to stumble. Seteth was there, grabbing her to keep her from falling completely to the filthy floor, and she clung to him as if he was the only thing that could keep her grounded, could keep her from losing her mind.

"W-what am I going to do?" She asked rhetorically, looking up at the man that held her now. "You must be mistaken. You have to be mistaken! I-I can't... I can't have a child!"

Seteth frowned at the distraught woman in his arms. He didn't want to tell her what she should do but he couldn't help but feel disappointed by her insistence that she couldn't have this child. This child, even if it didn't have the typical Nabatean traits it would still be a welcomed addition to a family that was only 6 strong; including Byleth. Flayn was the light of his life, the best thing that had ever happened to him, so he couldn't understand why Byleth was so willing to give up on the life she now carried.

"They _killed_ Dimitri! They killed him because he was defending _me_! They were after _ME_! What do you think they'll do if they find out I have a child? Something so helpless? Something that can't defend itself at all? You saw what they did to Rhea! I can't- I can't let them do that to an innocent babe!" Byleth sobbed as she clung to him for support and just like that all the frustration and disappointment that Seteth had felt was washed away by the guilt that came with the fact that he hadn't considered her reasoning for her fears. Did he not feel the same? It was why he still insisted that Flayn call him brother instead of father even a thousand years later on the off-chance that someone would put two and two together and realize that they were the famous Cichol and Cethleann.

"We'll figure something out." He tried to soothe, rubbing her back as he had Flayn whenever she was upset, and let her cry out her tears. Once she had used up all her tears and all she had was the desperate gasps for air interrupted by the occasional hiccup, Seteth gently led her out of the chamber and back up to the palace proper while still murmuring soothing words. They only stopped once to speak to one of the Kingdom soldiers who explained to them that the kingdom army was setting up in the Empire palace to rest somewhere dry and warm while Dimitri worked to take stock of food and resources so that he could divvy it out as needed while he united the Empire with the Kingdom and Alliance into a fully united continent. Those of significant rank in the Army were given individual rooms in the Palace while the common soldiers would be camping out in the main halls. The soldier they spoke with lead them towards the room that Flayn and Rhea had occupied.

"Byleth!" Someone called out before they could get inside and Byleth nearly flinched. She didn't think she was ready to face him yet but she quickly schooled her face into something presentable, hiding her uneasiness, and turned to give a small smile to Dimitri as he approached them. Despite her confidence in the fact that she had hidden her emotions, Dimitri slowed to a halt in front of her, resting his hand against her cheek as he looked at her with concern. "Are you alright?"

"Yes..." She realized he must have seen the red in her eyes from when she had cried earlier. She took a moment to explain what state they had found Rhea in the secret chamber. "If you don't mind, I think I should stay with Lady Rhea tonight. She's had a rough time."

"Of course." Dimitri agreed softly, his thumb brushing her cheek gently and he gave a light kiss to her forehead. She was glad that he wasn't going to inquire further but she felt the familiar stab of guilt in the fact that she was withholding this information from him. This child would also be his and he deserved to know but she just wasn't ready yet."Sleep well, Beloved. I will see you tomorrow."

"Good night Dimitri." Byleth smiled lamely and went with Seteth into the room that Flayn and Rhea rested in. Her hands were grabbed by the youngest member the moment she stepped inside.

"Oh, Professor!" Flayn's bright smile faltered when she saw the look on Byleth's face. "You do not think this is wonderful?"

"I need time to process."

"Of course. That makes sense." Flayn nodded and led her professor towards an empty chair, urging her to sit. Rhea was tucked into the bed; washed, and changed into a spare set of clothes. Flayn must have helped her while Byleth and Seteth had spoken earlier.

"Seteth... spoke to you...?" The Archbishop asked, coughing a little when her voice got stuck. She still wasn't used to speaking.

"Yes."

"An addition... to our family."

"...yes..." Byleth sighed as she stared down at her clenched hands. Her dark mood seemed to be bringing down the overall atmosphere in the room. "I'm going to be a mother..."

"Pfft." A sudden suppressed laugh caused three pairs of eyes to turn towards Seteth who was still standing near the door. When he noticed that he had all the attention in the room he focused on Byleth. "Yes, it's _Great_. Just _Grand_ that you're going to be a _Mother_."

She was confused and a bit upset by the joking tone that Seteth had until she noticed how his eyes flicked to Rhea and then his emphasized words made sense; calling back to an inside joke that they shared between them and Byleth laughed as Seteth's grin grew. For that moment in time, the weight of everything had slipped from her shoulders and she was glad that she was with the people she considered family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say, I love reading people's theories in the comments because there are some that really hit some of the future plot points and there were some that weren't quite that close. I won't say what or who though.
> 
> Now, Here's where we get viewer participation.: Byleth is pregnant and (spoiler alert) it's a son. Now, I have names that I'm inclined towards: Alexei, Rodion, and Nikolai. The thing is I'm open to suggestions so if anyone has a name that they like, leave it in a comment and who knows? Perhaps that name will get chosen. Or even choose one of the names that I have listed if you like one of those.
> 
> Anyway, I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and Please enjoy!
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate


	21. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, The child's name was supposed to be revealed next chapter but then my brain kept throwing new scenarios at me that I couldn't just turn down because of sweet sweet ANGST.
> 
> So this story is now lengthened by another chapter and a half.
> 
> Still, this gives you all a little longer to get your votes for kid names in.
> 
> So far Nikolai is leading, followed by Mikail and Alexei. There's also a vote for Sergei.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed your Holidays!
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate

The war was over and things got even busier. Dimitri worked hard to get the Empire stable and he was exhausted every night but he was never so tired that he didn't miss Byleth's warmth at his side. Once Rhea was well enough, She had returned to Garragh Mach with Seteth, Flayn, and the knights of Seiros.

After a discussion with the two; Dimitri left Rodrigue as Regent of what was once the Empire while Felix was set up to lead the Fraldarius territory in the north. After that was settled, two weeks later, Dimitri headed back towards the monastery, arriving just as Rhea announced that she was passing the title of Archbishop to the person who had been leading the church the past few months. Byleth didn't seem to show any surprise by the news, even as it spread across the country with the speed of a wildfire.

"Congratulations." Dimitri smiled as he approached Byleth after the slight ceremony that was held to officially set her up as the Archbishop so that there could be no arguments about her newly acquired authority. His own coronation would be in a week or two, once Byleth's powerbase as Archbishop had settled, and then things would get even busier for them. There was a whole fractured country that they had to fix, to bring together, and there wouldn't be much time for them to spend together. "I suppose you knew that this would happen already, though."

"I had an idea." Byleth replied with a half-hearted laugh. There was something about her expression, though, that didn't seem right and Dimitri brushed his thumb along her jaw, stopping under her chin.

"What's wrong?" Byleth's brow furrowed as she looked up at him and she reached up to take his hand between both of hers and pulled it up against her cheek. She closed her eyes and stayed silent for a bit. When she spoke it was a soft murmur that only reached him.

"Stay with me tonight."

"Of course, Beloved." Even though there were still people around hoping to speak to the new Archbishop, they didn't get the chance as the two of them slipped from the party. Byleth led him by the hand up to the archbishop quarters, her new room, and pushed him onto the bed.

He didn't know if it was because they hadn't been together intimately since the night before the attack on Enbarr or if it was the stress of everything currently going on and the things that would come but there was a desperateness in her kisses, her touches were a bit rough as she urged him in their entwining and he found out that she knew his body almost as well as hid did since she would wait just long enough for him to recover before teasing him into another session, one after another until they were both too tired to continue. Their night was long and filled with passion.

Dimitri woke to the room awash in the bright orange light of mid-morning edging ever closer to noon. They had duties to get to but he really didn't want to move just yet, not with Byleth curled around him like she currently was in her sleep. He happily watched her sleep, brushing his fingers through her hair and placing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

It would be ready soon but he was growing a bit impatient. He had commissioned a ring to be made as soon as they had come back to the monastery from Enbarr; one of silver inset with a green jewel. Anna had helped him pick the perfect jewel; a brilliant green Idocrase that matched Byleth's hair. He planned to present it to Byeleth the night before his coronation in a week but sometimes he wished it was done already so he could put it on her finger now. He wanted to have her as his wife. He wanted so much to have her claim him as her husband. The other him had been so she wouldn't turn him down, right? With the confidence of that knowledge, Dimitri was growing impatient.

"Mmm..." Byleth hummed as she woke slowly to a bright room and Dimitri peppering her face with light kisses. It took her a few moments to realize that the light was a lot brighter than it should have been. "What time is it?"

Byleth appeared to be on the verge of panicking but Dimitri took his time to soothe her, rubbing her back as he drew her into kisses, easing her worries away from the duties she had been putting off. No one had come to wake them so Dimitri had taken that as a sign that they weren't necessarily needed at the moment.

"Right! I forgot I have something to give you." Dimitri told the fully relaxed Byleth as he slipped from the bed. He missed the surprised look on her face or the fact that despite her slight trepidation at what he could have wanted to give her she was still gladly inspecting his bare body while he searched through his discarded clothes. "Ah, here it is."

"A dagger?" She asked surprised. It looked very similar to her old one, even the blue sheath. If there was a difference it was in the handle; with a golden lion head carved into the hilt.

"You lost yours at Gronder field and I thought you might want a replacement," Dimitri explained, returning back to her side in bed. He wasn't sure what her reaction would have been at his gift but her laugh and the subsequent kiss had been one of his more hopeful outcomes. "Just... don't tell Sylvain."

* * *

Dimitri's coronation went smoothly. Byleth, as the current Archbishop, crowned the prince into the new king of not only Faerghust but all of Fodlan. The audience in attendance cheered when he stood to his full height and turned to face them, the crown gleaming in the late afternoon light. Byleth stayed near the Alter as Dimitri walked through the Cathedral towards the doors where more people were waiting to cheer.

_"Long live the King!"_

Dimitri walked through the monastery, greeting the people that had come to see the new King.

He was exhausted after a few hours of this but there was still a party that was planned. He had been a little concerned by the use of resources for such a lavish thing but that subtle guilt was assuaged by the fact that it wouldn't be nearly as opulent as parties from previous years and that it held a duel purpose; to celebrate the new Archbishop and the new King.

Everyone was already there when Dimitri walked in, one of the guards announcing his appearance as he stepped into the party hall. It was a lively and happy occasion and it showed on the faces of everyone present. Dimitri subtly touched his front pocket to feel the little lump that ensured that he still had the ring he had commissioned.

Tonight. He would ask her to marry him tonight.

There were a few people dancing or snacking but the majority of people were talking. With the war over finally and the country united everyone was working to restore connections and set up future correspondences. Dimitri could see Byleth across the room and every time he attempted to make his way to her side he would be stopped by people that wished to speak with him. Politely Dimitri would listen to them, participating in the conversation until there was a natural place to stop, and then he would excuse himself to approach Byleth only to be stopped again. Every time he made progress he would lose it with every pause; Byleth would somehow always been on the other side of the room as if she was making her rounds as well. Sure enough, every time he looked to determine where Byleth was she was deep in conversation with others.

Around and around the room they went, stopped constantly by those that wanted to set up a connection with two of the currently most powerful people in the country, and slowly chipping away at Dimitri's patience. Some minor lords were talking his ears off but Dimitri wasn't paying much attention. Instead, his eyes were focused on Byleth. He knew it was rude and that he should be looking and listening to the people that were talking to him but he couldn't; not when his beloved was so close and yet so far, smiling so easily.

Bright green met his light blue as he caught her eye and he kept her gaze as he excused himself a little rudely so he could cross the room towards Byleth with obvious intent. He only made it halfway before he was stopped by the look of utter panic on her face. He could only watch helplessly as she looked around for something or someone, only to leave the few people she had been speaking with the rush to Seteth's side. She talked to him about something and he looked to Dimitri but the future king had already turned to leave the party. He was no longer in a celebratory mood.

"Are you alright, your Highness?" Gilbert asked when he noticed Dimitri's fallen expression as the king walked by him towards the exit.

"Hm? Oh, yes... I was just going to get some air." Dimitri gave a half-nod as he passed the knight and stepped into the night and took a deep breath of the cool air.

There was no other way to interpret that expression. She had seen him approaching and she had obviously panicked. The only question was _'why'_?

Dimitri was standing before the training grounds before he realized it but he didn't stop, instead of slipping into the field and took a training lance from one of the weapon racks left for anyone that wished to use them. He always felt better while he moved his body.

The whistle of the weapon as it sliced through the air and the solid 'thunk' as he hit the straw and wood dummies focused him and he finally allowed his thoughts to return to the party. To her expression.

He wanted so desperately to deny it, to think that it was some kind of mistake, that she would come to find him, explain everything, and they would be fine again but it was hard to deny what he had seen. Her dread had been obvious.

She had known what he wanted to ask her. She had known and she had been panicked by the thought. It could only mean one thing.

She didn't want to marry him.

Straw exploded from the dummy at Dimitri's vicious attack while he growled at the effort and the fact that straw wasn't as satisfying.

No. He had to stay away from those dark thoughts. He had responsibilities now. People he had to protect. A country to govern. He couldn't let himself get depressed over the fact that Byleth didn't want him. She had essentially turned him down. She had married his other self and yet she didn't want to marry _him_. Was he so different from her husband that she didn't want him? Had he done something wrong to have her throw him away? Had she grown tired of him?

"Stop!" Dimitri scolded himself, the lance digging through the dummy. He had to stop himself before he allowed himself to get too deep. He couldn't allow himself to think about the fact that Byleth didn't want to marry him.

"_What did you expect?" _A familiar voice asked though his ears didn't catch the sound while a familiar weight wrapped around his shoulders_. "That you would live a happily ever after like you're some handsome prince in a fairy tale?"_

"Stop... You're not real." He scowled as he tried to block out Byleth's mocking voice. He knew his ghosts had morphed to become a new terror to plague him with this new development.

For once the voices did as he asked and fell silent, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the training field. Dimitri looked up at the stars shining in the sky.

_It's raining... _He thought to himself as he felt something wet on his face.


	22. Chapter 19 and a half

Byleth walked the grounds of the monastery. She knew exactly where Dimitri was since Dedue was standing guard outside the doors that led to the training grounds. Dedue was an observant man and by the cold stare he leveled at Byleth at her approach, she realized that he probably had an idea of what had happened.

She felt so very guilty. She hadn't meant to have her thoughts show so plainly on her face. It was one of the problems she had had growing up showing no emotion and then never having to hide them after she began to feel them clearly. She sometimes had no control over her expression. How many times had she cried in the past year simply because her emotions had overwhelmed her?

It was just that she had spent all night trying to avoid him to keep him from proposing to her, especially in front of all those people, and when she had seen him break from the silly cycle they had found themselves in to approach her, she had panicked and had run to Seteth to be the last barrier between them. It was obvious that Dimitri had his heartbroken. Even in her panic, she had seen his expression; first shocked then crestfallen as if she had reached in and had ripped his heart out with her own two hands.

She hadn't meant to hurt him that much. She had just wanted to keep him from proposing. She had a plan but it meant that they couldn't be married. He had been doing so much better lately that she hoped that it wouldn't make him back-slide. Byleth knew that mental health couldn't be fixed with just a hug or the love of another but Dimitri had made great strides in healing himself and she was afraid of doing anything that would ruin his progress. Still, right now Dimitri couldn't be the only one she thought about.

"How is he?" She asked Dedue as she hugged herself in an attempt to keep the chill of her own actions back. The larger man stared at her hard before sighing. He had always respected Byleth and even liked her. They got along well and when he had learned that she and his King were in a relationship he had been overjoyed.

Then tonight had happened.

"I cannot say for sure. I believe he will be fine... eventually." Dedue answered. He probably would have stayed silent if it hadn't been so obvious that Byleth had been feeling guilty by her actions. He always considered himself his king's staunchest supporter and was always trying to protect him from his side so he had been close enough to see the subtle exchange between them. He had seen the hurt on Dimitri's face as Byleth's reaction had crushed his fragile hope.

"Are you not going to speak with him?" Dedue asked, watching Byleth as she flinched at his words. They had argued before, which was nothing new, but talking had helped them grow past their misunderstandings and Dedue hoped that they would be able to get through this as well. His hopes were dashed, though, as Byleth shook her head.

"No. Not yet." Byleth's grip on her arms tightened until her knuckles were white from how hard she was holding herself. She had no intention of elaborating further. "I will... but not yet."

They stood there in silence that was neither awkward nor companionable until Byleth spoke up again. She was staring hard at the ground as if she wasn't willing to meet his gaze.

"Please... take care of him."

"I will." Dedue vowed, surprised when Byleth bowed to him and gave him a sad smile before turning to leave him to his guard duty.


	23. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Years Resolution: Finish this story.  
This and the next chapter were supposed to be one but then it started getting two to three times longer than every other chapter so I decided to split them up. Ah, Extended angst.  
Hope your New Year is better than your last year was and please enjoy!  
-DarkDevilsAdvocate

* * *

Dimitri's fingers tapped on the wood of his desk as he read through the reports that littered the top in a messy heap. It had been a few months since he had left the monastery for Fhirdiad and he had been swamped with work since he had arrived in the kingdom capital. He didn't hate it, though, as it kept his mind busy and focused on something other than the fact that he _still_ wasn't married and he didn't know if he even _wanted _to be.

It was no secret that he and Byleth had been in a relationship, the rumor had spread faster than a wildfire, but that hadn't stopped some nobles from trying to present their daughters in the hopes that he would become smitten with one of them instead. In fact, he was glad that the subtle falling out between him and the archbishop hadn't been spread, or else he would be drowned in attempts to get him hitched to someone else with the excuse that it was his responsibility to have an heir. He knew that the only interest in him having an heir was if that heir was connected to _their _family.

Dimitri sighed as he rubbed at his temple to try and stem the headache that was growing there. He could feel _her _weight around his shoulders, heavier than all his current responsibilities, and he tried to ignore her unsuccessfully. He was used to his ghosts glaring and scowling at him; demanding death and blood. Even while he had been going over the potential punishments of the enemy soldiers that had surrendered at the end of the war when he was still in Enbarr, his ghosts had chanted _kill them, kill, kill them_ in his head. He had been able to ignore them mostly but sometimes the days got so bad he had to put off judgments until he had a clearer mind. He didn't want to sentence someone to death just because his mental demons were being particularly persistent.

This tormenter was unlike his other ghosts, though. Maybe because he knew she wasn't the real Byleth, as the Archbishop was still alive, but this one acted differently. She didn't glare at him. She didn't urge him to kill. She didn't push him to _do_ anything.

But she belittled him. She would mock him. She would laugh at him. She would weigh him down like a physical burden.

She would hold onto him in a twisted version of a lover's embrace. She becomes a heaviness around his shoulders as she laughed in his ear. Sometimes she would just sit in his view and watch him with a deriding smirk and tell him all the mistakes he had made in his life. She would tell him that everyone hated him and it was his own fault for pushing everyone away after telling them all they were nothing but tools for his vengeance. He had to constantly remind himself that she wasn't _really_ her. That she wasn't really here and she wasn't really doing all of this. Sometimes it was hard, though, as what she said always matched his darkest thoughts and beat him down better than the persistent bloodlust of his dead family.

_"You can't get me out of your head."_ She whispered near his ear, though her voice was inside his head, and he resisted the urge to flinch away from her. _"Even after everything I've done to you."_

"You didn't do anything." He murmured under his breath to the illusionary Byleth as she looked over his shoulder at his work.

_"Well... you're not wrong. Isn't that why you're angry? Because I didn't do anything. Especially becoming your wife."_ She laughed and even with its slightly contemptuous sound Dimitri couldn't help but find it beautiful. It was Byleth's laugh, after all, even if it wasn't really coming from her. He sighed as he tried to ignore her and the situation in which she was trying to tease him with the fact that Byleth hadn't approached him after to explain what had happened at the party. Specifically, it seemed as if she had avoided him until he left for Faerghus. She had seen him off with nothing resolved between them.

The tapping rhythm of his fingers sped up.

_"Oh, is someone upseeeet?" _The Ethereal Byleth asked and though she couldn't really touch him she poked at his cheek. Why was she so different from his other ghosts? Why couldn't she just stand there and stare at him with disappointment so that ignoring her would be so much easier?

"Stop. I have to finish this." He scowled, nearly jumping when there was a knock on the door to his office right after and he wondered if whoever was on the other side had heard him talking to himself. He took a moment to school his features before he ordered them to enter.

"I apologize if I'm interrupting."

"I have assured you that you don't need to apologize every time you come." Dimitri returned Mercedes's smile with a half-hearted one of his own as she entered his office with the ease of someone who had been there many times before. Mercedes had stayed in Garrag Mach to become part of the church and help the Archbishop out. She acted as a courier between the Archbishop and King whenever she found time to come north to visit Annette, all their missives professional in nature without a single word of affection. "You are always welcome."

"That's sweet of you to say." Mercedes giggled and stepped closer so she could hand over the letters and reports she carried. Dimitri thanked her as he took them and began to look them over. It took him a moment to realize that Mercedes hadn't left right after handing everything over as she had previously when she had seen how busy he was.

"Is there something else?"

"Ah... Not really... It's just you haven't really asked about Her Grace the Archbishop... Ever." She pointed out with that uncanny sense of hers and Dimitri flinched at his mistake. The people who knew of the falling out between him and Byleth could be counted on one hand and his indifference could only be seen as out of character.

"I've been busy." He tried to excuse, glancing away when Mercedes leaned in to get a closer look at his face as if she could see into the darkest parts of his soul and all his secrets were laid bare before her.

"You do look tired. Have you not been sleeping?"

"I'm fine." Dimitri assured even though she had been correct in her guess. His nightmares had returned to plague him and even the false Byleth tortured him whenever he tried to sleep; Even though he _knew_ she wasn't real he could feel her weight on his chest, constricting his ability to breathe as the darkness he once found comfort in closed in like a claustrophobic coffin until all he could see was her mocking smile as he struggled uselessly against his deadened limbs while her hands slid up to his throat. His heart would beat rapidly against his ribs as panic set in while his voice choked him in his futile attempt to scream past his incapacitated throat.

Then whatever paralysis had overcome him would be broken and he would rush from the bed that had trapped him. Unable to sleep for the rest of the night he would return to work until Dedue found him in his office in the morning and brought him breakfast.

"Dimitri?" Mercedes' concerned voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He could only blink at the fact that he had zoned out so badly. Had he gotten so bad that three nights without sleep had affected him so terribly? He remembered being able to go weeks without while he had been on the run.

"Sorry. I was just..." He paused before shaking his head. She would easily see through any lie he tried to weave. Mercedes frowned lightly as she looked at the way Dimitri had closed himself off. It was clear he wasn't going to say more so she decided to change the subject to something that would hopefully bring more life to him.

"She asks about you."

"S-she does?" Dimitri asked, startled at the new revelation that Byleth inquired after him.

_"I have to make sure you have no reason to return, after all."_ The false Byleth answered as she slipped around him to sit on his desk. He made a point not to look at her.

"Every time I return." Mercedes assured with a gentle smile. He stayed silent as he processed this new information and what he would do with it. Mercedes didn't seem bothered at the fact that the silence stretched on for longer than most people would be comfortable with. She waited patiently and smiled when Dimitri finally looked up at her with an odd expression.

"How is she?"

"Ah... actually..." The soft smile the older woman had faded with the ominous way she started. "Her grace has been appearing in public less and less recently. Lady Rhea even returned to help Seteth in the running of the monastery. There's a rumor that she's been ill lately. I believe it's been a week since she's last been seen."

"What? She's sick?!" Dimitri was on his feet before he realized it. Mercedes hadn't even flinched at his movements, as if she had been expecting it. The false Byleth laughed at his reaction.

_"You're going to make me cry with how much you care."_

"There's something else," Mercedes spoke up while Dimitri ground his teeth as he attempted to ignore his ghost's mocking tone, gaining his attention in a way that the false Byleth never could. The older woman pulled out a folded piece of paper. "She said this was for your eyes only and you were to burn it afterward."

He stared at the paper that Mercedes held, hesitating in taking it. For his eyes only? What could Byleth have to say to him that she couldn't have said before? Was this her attempt to explain _months_ after?

Dimitri gingerly took it from her and held it in limp fingers. The slightest breeze could take it from him. A part of him hoped it would.

"I'll be going to see Annette now. Let me know if there's anything you need me to do." The gentle woman gave him a light smile, a bow, and left him with his thoughts. He took little notice; his attention was still on the paper he held.

_"What are you afraid of?"_ Byleth asked as her hand rested on the wrist that held the letter. _"Worried that I'm finally making our breakup official?"_

"She wouldn't." Dimitri denied lamely. Why was he even defending Byleth against Byleth? The absurdity of it wanted to make him laugh. Instead, he tore the note open and scanned it quickly.

_"Not quite the breakup... yet."_

"No. Not yet." Dimitri agreed as he read it a second then a third time.

_"'Dimitri.'"_ The false Byleth read over his shoulder, somehow still managing to make a mockery of the real Byleth's voice. _"Ha, not even a 'dear' before it. 'Dimitri. You need to see me this month. No matter what anyone says you need to meet me.' That's right. Drop everything you're busy with to come running to my side like the dog. You. Are."_

"Shut up." He scowled at the false Byleth's words and how they somehow managed to echo his thoughts. How many times had he heard people refer to him as a dog since he had started his relationship with Byleth? It was effortless for him to think that she believed that he was little more than her pet. How easily had she thrown him away and now she demanded that he just come running to her side?

Dimitri rubbed at his head again as his headache grew in force. He really wanted to just flippantly ignore her letter, to return to his work and pretend that this never happened, but he knew deep in his heart that he would, predictably, return to her side.

It wasn't because she demanded it of him, though. He was just worried. She was sick after all. At least, that's what he told himself.

_I will support you._ _I just want you to be happy. Even if you do finally decide that being with me will not bring you to that happiness_. He had told her that once. His own words haunted his thoughts now, mocking his insincerity, his hurt, and his anger at being thrown away when he had _told _her that she could. It was the only reason he put up with the false Byleth's constant ridicule when he _knew_ that she wasn't real. He felt he deserved it for his hypocrisy. As much as he wanted to be angry at Byleth for hurting him like this he was even angrier at himself.

Despite everything, including the fact that they hadn't spoken to each other in months, he was still hopelessly in love with her.

"I'm an idiot."

_"No arguments here."_


	24. Chapter 21

"I need to speak to the Archbishop." Dimitri scowled at the guards that wouldn't let him up the stairs to the second floor, much less up to the Archbishop's quarters. He didn't know what he had expected but being stopped by some low-level guards hadn't been it. It didn't help that his ghosts that weren't Byleth had decided to turn up, glaring at the men in his way while urging him to get rid of the ones that dared stand between him and his goal, hopefully in the most bloody way possible.

"We apologize, Your Majesty, but its orders from Lady Rhea. No one can go up."

"_Lady Rhea _isn't the Archbishop. _She_ shouldn't be telling _me_ that I can't see Byleth." He pointed out as he glared down at them. It was a little satisfying to see these fully armored knights flinching at his deadly tone and averting their eyes from his gaze. They no doubt knew of the rumors that had surrounded him before his heel-face-turn; about how wild he had been or how easily he had killed swaths of Imperial soldiers single-handedly. It would not have been hard for them to imagine him turning the malice he was obviously radiating in to take their insignificant lives; even with the fact that he wasn't wearing his intimidating black armor.

"W-we're sorry, Your Majesty... We can't let just anyone up."

"Do I look like _just anyone?!"_

"What is all this noise about?" All three of them looked up the stairs at Seteth as he descended the stairs towards them. The knights saluted the second-highest rank in the church and the relief they felt was tangible. Dimitri turned his glare away from the knights that had gained a subtle shake under his unrelenting stare to instead focus on the older man.

"I need to speak to the Archbishop." The King of Fodlan stated flatly as his arms crossed over his chest just as stubborn, if not more so than the knights that had just been following orders.

"She's resting at the moment and it's getting late. We can try to set up a meeting tomorrow if she's feeling better." Seteth spoke in a carefully neutral tone as if he was trying not to step on the landmine that was Dimitri's quickly thinning temper.

"I will see her tonight."

"Please, Your Majesty. Her Grace is resting. We shouldn't disturb her."

"I _will_ see her tonight." Dimitri scowled with narrowed eyes, every one of his muscles tense, ready to spring into action as his body was flooded with adrenaline at the prospect of a possible fight.

"That's not possible." A female voice interrupted, setting Dimitri even further on edge as his ghosts roared to life in a way they hadn't been moments before, their voices almost drowning out everything else.

_She's in the way! Get rid of her! Kill her! Kill her!_

"The Archbishop isn't seeing anyone tonight." Rhea continued as she moved down the stairs in the graceful way she had about her despite the fact that there were signs of stress on her face and her hair had a ton of strays that gave her a semi-wild appearance.

Dimitri respected Rhea. He thought her a wise woman full of practical experience. Faerghus had always had a close relationship with the church. It was called the _Holy Kingdom_, after all. Byleth also seemed to have a close relationship with the church's highest members, Rhea and Seteth, and despite the currently falling out between them, Dimitri didn't want to hurt the people that she loved.

All of them were making it really hard, though. Rhea, Seteth, his ghosts, the false Byleth who was laughing at the whole scene. All of it was compounding and giving him the mother of all headaches. As if sensing that Dimitri's patience was holding on by a mere thread, Seteth stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on the younger man's shoulder to attempt to lead him away and it took everything in Dimitri not to knock Seteth off of him. He didn't know what it was with the last few minutes dealing with these uncooperative people that had him sliding back through several months of progress. He was just so _angry_. Angry at the fact that he was here simply because Byleth had asked him to be. Angry at the fact that these people were stopping him from seeing her. Angry at the fact that he seemed to have only the slightest control over himself. He was just _angry_.

"Please, your Highness. It is late and you are stressed. We all are. There's so much to do for this country. Get some rest. Maybe take a walk in the garden? It's beautiful this time of day."

"I don't _want-._"

"I think a walk would do you good. The garden is nice." Seteth interrupted, giving the king a hefty push, managing to make him stumble. Dimitri turned quickly with a heavy scowl, ready to retaliate, but was paused by the pleading look on Seteth's face now that his back was towards the previous Archbishop and the two knights. He took a moment to consider what Seteth was saying without actually _saying_ it and finally nodded.

"Fine. I'll leave for now." Dimitri conceded as he shoved the advisor away from him so he could storm down the hallway towards the garden that Seteth had insisted he visit without a look back. He stopped once he had passed the threshold to take a moment to try and calm himself down and think of another way up. He was going to see Byleth _tonight_. Nothing was going to stop him. Even if he would have to turn around and knock those guards out.

"Evening Your Majesty! Nothing to report!" Dimitri's anger was quickly replaced by startlement at the Gatekeeper's loud announcement at his side. Calming down after the mini heart-attack, Dimitri looked at the sentinel who was grinning at him with all the friendly ease that softened even the burning anger that had been raging through him moments before.

"Good evening." Dimitri replied, a little deflated as he was suddenly emptied of the rage that had filled him previously. It took him a moment to realize that something was off with the whole scene. "I thought you were normally at the front gate? May I ask why you're here?"

"It was a direct order from her grace, Lady Byleth. At first, I thought that I had done something wrong and was being demoted but the Archbishop insisted that I was moved because I was trustworthy."

"But... why _here?_"

"I believe it's to maybe guard that rope?" The gatekeeper pointed up and sure enough there was a braided rope hanging about a foot or so over the guard's head that led up to the balcony across from the Archbishop's room. It was convenient and Dimitri realized his single-minded determination to get to the Archbishop had had him completely miss both rope and gatekeeper earlier. "She told me that I was to let no one touch that rope except for Your Majesty."

He wanted to laugh, impressed at Byleth's forethought. That was until he looked up at the rope and realized that it would be just out of reach, even if he leaped to his highest possible point, and he wondered how he was going to _get_ to it. The gatekeeper came to the rescue again as he threaded his fingers together and shifted into a stance ready to boost the King of Fodlan up.

Dimitri clambered over the side of the balcony railing and collapsed on the floor afterwards. His arms felt weak and numb and he growled up at the clear sky. Where he had been praising Byleth earlier for her forethought he was now cursing her for having him climb up three very tall flights with nothing but a rope. If he hadn't been in such good shape...

He took a moment to both calm his breathing and check to make sure no one was going to come up and stop him mid-mission. When he didn't hear anyone rushing up the stairs to get in his way he stood with some difficulty, dusted himself off, and strode to the Archbishop's room with determination. He was paused in the doorway, though, by the sight of Byleth strung out on her bed in a half-sitting position from the pillows tucked in around her. She looked as ill as Mercedes had said she was. Her face was both pale and flush and her hair was stuck to her by the sweat still on her skin. Even with all that, there was a glow about her that made her awe-inspiringly beautiful.

"Byleth..." He breathed. His voice must have wakened her for her eyes fluttered opened and he was met by brilliant green.

"Dimitri. You made it." Byleth gave him a tired smile and in that instant took his breath away. "You have the best timing. He just arrived."

"What do you mean?" Dimitri took a few steps closer as a compromise with his dueling needs to go to her side and to stay away from her. Instead of speaking, Byleth's eyes slipped to a piece of furniture that Dimitri had completely missed in his initial arrival; a wooden crib was sitting in the corner. Inside laid a newly born babe; small and frail while swathed in a soft baby blanket.

_"It's not yours."_ The false Byleth whispered and for a moment, _only_ a moment, he believed her. That single moment was enough to shake him to his very core and he quickly stepped away from the vulnerable life sleeping so peacefully before his mental demons pushed him to do something he would regret.

"It's mine." He stated in sharply. He could take the derision and the blows to his self-esteem but he would _not_ let her make him doubt Byleth's fidelity. Refusing to turn his gaze away from the sleeping life for the false one that was leaning over the crib with that scornful grin that he had grown to hate so much. It was a mockery of Byleth's genuine smile.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before." Byleth, the real Byleth, apologized as she shifted weakly to look at him more directly. "I was afraid. I couldn't let anyone know."

"Rhea and Seteth know." Dimitri stated bitterly, taking another step away from the child but this time it was towards the weakened woman who he had just realized was wearing only an overly large black shirt. One of _his_ shirts that had gone missing some months ago. Somehow it gave him a fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"I know they can keep a secret."

"Are you saying I cannot?" He was offended at the thought and the flat look she gave him told him that that was _exactly_ what she had thought. He frowned and crossed his arms but her expression forced him into self-introspection. He couldn't really blame her for thinking that way since he never really hid anything from her. How easily did he confess some of the darkest moments in his life to her? How often had he just spoken his thoughts in search of her advice? Not to mention that he knew himself well enough that if he had known that he was going to have a child with the woman he loved he would have bragged to nearly everyone he knew. "But why the secrecy?"

"I... No one can know I gave birth. That child shouldn't be put in danger because of me." Byleth explained as the pain she must have been carrying in her heart the past few months showed so plainly on her face. The last little bit of angry will Dimitri had faded away and he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, gathering her in his arms and pulling her into his lap. "You kept dying in defense of _me._ They were attempting to kill _me_. Probably because of what I am. The baby is helpless... so very helpless..."

"What is your plan?" Dimitri asked for he knew she had one. It had all fallen into place; her reaction at the thought of him proposing, the few months of silence, Rhea and Seteth's over-protective actions. He also guessed that Seteth was also in on whatever plan she had since he had been the one to insist that Dimitri go into the garden where the rope had been waiting as an alternate route up.

"Take him. Take him with you and claim that he's yours from someone else. Some village girl. Take him with you and raise him." Byleth pleaded as she clung to Dimitri with a desperateness that didn't fit the strong and stubborn woman that he had known. . "I'm so sorry. You'll come across as a tramp but he'll be safe at least. He'll be safe. I can only hope they won't go after him if they don't think he's mine. You can't tell anyone... Noone but Dedue."

"I understand." And he truly did. It meant that this would be the last time they would be together in any sort of intimate setting. They would have to convince the rest of the world that the two of them had a falling out. He would have to find some way for everyone to believe that he had been with some girl, someone other than Byleth, and had conceived a child with her. It meant that she would have to act like a stranger to her own child.

"I'm sorry. I'm really so sorry. I'm sor-."

"I understand." Dimitri repeated after silencing her with a chaste kiss. It wasn't fair but like a true parent, Byleth was willing to do anything to keep her child safe. Dimitri admired her for it. He was more than content to just sit there with her curled up in his arms.

"Dimitri... I'm sorry."

"How many times are you going to apologize?" He asked with a little chuckle, kissing her forehead tenderly. He tried not to feel hurt when she slipped out of his lap.

"Dimitri, That box." Byleth pointed at a small ornate box on a dresser that he hadn't seen earlier but to be fair he hadn't seen anything but Byleth. Obediently Dimitri stood and moved to open the box. He hesitated and slowly lifted the only thing that laid within the box's depths. "So you'll never doubt how much I love you."

Dimitri slipped the silver and blue ring onto his finger, surprised by how well it fit, and he had to wonder at when she had managed to get it sized to him. The sight of the delicately carved band on his finger took his breath away. He looked up at Byleth still sitting on the bed and she gave him a sad smile while silent tears fell freely.

"I would have married you... you know that right? Had things been different... I would have married you."

"I know."

He felt into his pocket for the ring that he still carried with him. Many times he had considered tossing it away, just throwing it into Faerghus' fields or rivers so that it could never be found again, only to hesitate at the last moment and stuff it back into his pocket to get rid of it at a later date. He was glad that he could never bring himself to toss it as he pulled the ring out now.

_"What are you doing?!"_ The false Byleth shrieked and it was a little disorienting to see her leap onto the bed next to the real Byleth, her figure distorted in rage. _"I don't deserve this after everything I did to you! Can't you see that I'm just thrusting my responsibilities as a parent off onto you? I'm just using sweet words to blind you!"_

"Byleth." Dimitri purposely called as he closed the distance and lifted her hand, grinning at the angry scowl that his mental demon gave him, and slipped the ring onto his beloved's finger. As soon as the ring was in its place the false Byleth faded, disappearing completely. He completed the little ceremony by giving Byleth a kiss.

He held her face in his hands, studying her face as she did his. His eyes slid closed as he memorized the warmth of her hands on his cheeks and he leaned down to place his forehead against hers, taking in the scent of her. He had to put it all to memory. It would be the last chance he would have for a while.

Dimitri didn't want to part from her, not when they just got back together, but he had his responsibilities and she had hers. He gave her a gentle kiss that she followed with another and then another until they were both breathless.

"If this is to work... I need to leave. Tonight."

"Yes..."

"I don't want to go."

"I don't want to let you go." Byleth shut her eyes as Dimitri pulled away, trying to stem the tears that were threatening to fall again, and she buried her face into her upraised knees. She couldn't watch. Not if she wanted to stay in one piece. In one night she would be saying farewell to the two most important men in her life.

She listened to the soft rustle of cloth, the slight whimper of the baby boy as he was removed from his crib, and Dimitri's notably silent footfalls as he crossed the room.

"Goodbye."

* * *

Dedue woke to a sudden insistent knock on his door and he wearily answered. Any fatigue he had been feeling disappeared when he saw his king at his doorstep with an impromptu cloak around his shoulders. It looked to be little more than a blanket that he had hastily tied around his neck. It covered enough that Dedue could see that there was something bulging under the cloth but not what it was exactly.

"Your Majesty?"

"Dedue, pack quickly. I'll get the horses ready. We leave tonight."

"Shall I wake the guards?"

"No." Dimitri shifted his stance oddly as if he was dancing in place. "Just you and I. I'll explain later."

"Yes, Your Majesty." Dedue nodded and moved to follow Dimitri's orders without question. Without much further delay, the two slipped out of the monastery to disappear into the night.


	25. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that the last few chapters have been an angst-fest. This chapter will be a little more light-hearted, I swear!
> 
> Also, the name gets revealed!
> 
> As always, Please enjoy!
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate

* * *

"Are you not going to say anything?" Ingrid demanded as she frowned at the King who was sitting calmly behind his desk, looking through his papers as if his office wasn't suddenly full of people pressuring him for an answer. He couldn't really blame them. The whole country had freaked out when he and Dedue had suddenly disappeared from Garreg Mach only to show up at Fhirdiad two weeks later with an infant that he readily claimed as his own. Of course, everyone wanted answers.

"I shouldn't have to. You heard it all from Dedue."

"You really think we're going to buy that excuse?"

"We're not doubting you." Sylvain, ever the peacekeeper, stepped in and placed a calming hand on Ingrid's shoulder while he used his silver tongue to get Dimitri to confess the truth. At least one that would be more believable to them. They would have willingly believed that the baby was Byleth's but Dimitri wasn't budging in his story. "It's just hard to believe that you had... relations with someone in the state you were in when we met you for the Millenium festival."

"Despite what you may believe, I _am_ a man."

"Did you force yourself on her?"

"Felix!" Annette scolded at the blunt accusation though she didn't say any words in defense of Dimitri's past. As Sylvain had said, it was really hard to swallow the idea that the man that had been nearly feral had willingly been vulnerable enough to take someone to his bed. That was probably the biggest obstacle for those who knew him to accept the tale he had told. He knew that rumors were already quickly spreading about his illicit affair and its result but the people that readily believed such rumors hadn't known Dimitri at rock bottom.

"Even at my worst, I would not take someone who was unwilling."

"Be real with us. How did it happen?" Sylvain asked, seriously perplexed by the idea that Dimitri was a father. No, it was more accurate to say that they were all confused by the fact that Dimitri had had a child with someone that _wasn't_ Byleth as he was claiming. Normally the ever earnest man was a terrible liar so the three that had grown up with him had thought that a little pressure and he would cave, tell them that it was all a farce and that there was more going on. More that they could sense but obviously couldn't see. Still, It was hard to _not _believe him when he was answering them with such a cool attitude; none of the flustered agitation that normally revealed his lies.

"You want details?" Dimitri looked up at the small crowd in his office with an incredulous expression, as if he couldn't believe what they were asking something so lewd.

"If necessary! How did you even _meet_ this girl?"

"As I told Dedue and he told you; I was injured and she helped me." It was the story he and Dedue had come up with on their travels back to Faerghus; that he had spent a night with a woman who was basically a stranger after she had helped him. That she had contacted him recently to tell him that she was pregnant with his child. That she died during childbirth. That he had taken the child to raise it as was his duty as the father.

"You told the Prof- The Archbishop?" Annette inquired gently. She had been one of the biggest supporters of Dimitri and Byleth's relationship so to hear that there was a sudden issue in the form of a _baby _that wasn't _theirs, _or hers rather, getting between them was distressing.

"Yes. It... did not go well." That was also part of the rumor that had spread. That Dimitri had told the Archbishop and they had a fight about it. It was the explanation of why she had fallen ill and why she had refused to see him the last time he had gone to talk with her about him taking in the child. As far as he was aware of there was three camps of people across the country; those that were angry with him for hurting the Archbishop by expecting her to accept a child of his with another woman, those that thought the Archbishop was being petty for being angry at something that had happened before she and the king had been together, and the third group didn't care about the drama between the two ruling bodies. They were just worried that the country would be plunged into war again.

"So..." Sylvain spoke once more to break the silence that had been building after Dimitri's words as the others worried about disrupting the melancholy expression he held by treading into the stillness his words had left behind. Sylvain was the only one that was both brave and tactful enough to step into the ring against the awkwardness. Felix also had no problem shattering the quiet but wouldn't do it nearly as diplomatically as his red-headed friend. "You have a son."

"I do."

"What's his name?"

They shouldn't have been surprised, really, but somehow when confronted by the absolutely blank look on Dimitri's face as he stared silently at Sylvain the group began to collectively worry about Dimitri's future skills as a father. Ingrid's indignation sparked back to life and she slammed her hand on the desk as she scowled at her king.

"You haven't named him? What have you been calling him?!"

"Baby." Dimitri's answer was so matter-of-fact that it shocked a laugh out of her.

"I don't know what I was expecting."

"Oh! Oh! We could suggest names!" Annette bounced excitedly at the sudden thought she had, grinning when the others seemed open to the idea. "Like Sergei!"

"Or Arthur. Maybe Mikail?"

"Wasn't your grandfather's name Klaus?"

"I always liked Alexei. If you want to follow Felix's suggestion of naming him after a family member you could always name him after your father or your uncle." Ingrid suggested. When Dimitri didn't say anything they continued to give suggestions only stopping when he finally spoke.

"Nikolai."

* * *

Tedious. It was all tedious. Byleth used to be a mercenary. Even when she had been a professor she had still been able to travel! Now? She read reports, listened to people complain, and held meetings. So many _meetings_! Whenever she wanted to change anything she would have to hold a meeting to discuss its potential effects on the church and the country at large and then she had to sit through the absolute _chore_ of the bishops from all three churches trying to convince her to reconsider. Even after five years they still tried desperately to persuade her against any decision she made that meant change. She sometimes wondered how long it would take for them to realize that she would never renege on her decisions and would let her just do what she wanted.

Byleth did have the advantage of the fact that she had been Archbishop before and knew _exactly _what her changes in the church would do so why would she take any of them back just because these men were being obstinate? Didn't they know that she could out-stubborn them all? She had stood toe to toe with Dimitri at his absolute worst; these old men were nothing.

"Do you find something humorous, Archbishop?" Seteth asked under his breath in a not-so-subtle nudge to bring her attention out of her thoughts and back to the windbags that were willfully trying to protect the precious little power they had in the church.

"Yes."

"...Do you care to elaborate?"

"Nope." Byleth grinned up at the flat look Seteth gave her. He was probably as bored as she was but she wasn't about to relieve him of his suffering. If she had to be here then so did he. Maybe if he got as annoyed by these meetings as she did he would stop _scheduling_ them and just tell the bishops to suck it up and get over their bruised egos.

"So what do you think, Archbishop?" One of the bishops asked, bringing her attention back to the meeting that she could only call _tedious_.

"I think... That we're going to put my plan into motion."

"But Archbishop-!"

"Now that that's been decided, this meeting is adjourned. Good day, Gentlemen." Byleth stood without giving them a chance to object and strode out of the room, leaving Seteth to scramble after her. She didn't know why they were surprised when this had been the result of _every_ meeting. How could they not get it after _five years?_

"That was graceful." His sarcastic tone made it blatant that Seteth's words did not match his true thoughts.

"They'll get over it."

"It would do to not make enemies within the church. It's harder for the older generations to adapt to change and they may resent you for it."

"Then let me ask you," Byleth turned and blocked Seteth's path to match his even gaze with her own glare. "As someone who is _older_ than them, do you think what I'm doing is wrong?"

She could hear his teeth ground and she grinned. He wanted to say something about the fact that she wasn't showing the dignified and upright air that was expected of the Archbishop but he couldn't argue with her methods when it came to fixing the overwhelming authority that was the church. Seteth had been a part of the church on and off throughout the millennium that Rhea was in charge, going years without being involved as he stayed near Flayn while she slept, so he was in the unique position to have seen how stagnant the church had become. Granted, corruption was limited under Rhea's leadership but her fear had kept the country in a technological impasse, unable to grow as it rightly should have.

In the 5 years that Dimitri and Byleth had taken over, Fodlan had changed. Slowly but surely, starting with setting up diplomatic relations with their neighboring countries. It was a strange thought that five years ago there had been an underlying tension between Fodlan and Almyra and now they could be considered their closest allies.

"Archbishop."

"You're back! How was your trip, Mercedes?" Byleth asked as she turned away from the man that was older but just as stubborn as the bishops that they had just left. She was delighted to speak with someone reasonable after having to deal with old men for the past few hours.

"It was good to see the others again." Mercedes smiled at the enthusiasm Byleth emitted as she nearly skipped to her. "They all seem to be doing well. Annette is expecting!"

"Is she?! I wish I weren't so busy, I would go visit her if I could." Byleth lamented, leading Mercedes into Seteth's office off of the audience chamber so they could sit and talk. It was relaxing and Byleth was glad for the older woman. She was an oasis of peace in this monastery of monotonous drudgery. Mercedes handed over the paperwork that she carried from Faerghus. Despite how everyone knew that the Archbishop and the King didn't speak with each other, the two of them still remained civil enough to work towards the betterment of the country. The people had faith that the two leaders had the citizen's best interest at heart no matter what happened in their personal life.

"There's also this." Mercedes spoke as she handed over a letter that was sealed with a rampant lion that was the king's seal.

"What... what is this?"

"An official request." Mercedes answered patiently. In the years that she had been a courier for the two leaders, this was the first time that a letter could be considered even remotely personal had been passed. That, in itself, had been odd for two people who had been so close before. Five years was much too long to keep holding a grudge for a mistake so Mercedes had, for the longest time, suspected that there were other things at play but she never brought the topic up. She figured that they had their own reasons for the deception that they were playing.

Byleth opened the letter and read its contents with an even expression that quickly changed into one of surprise.

"It's a request. To come to the Garreg Mach. To officially introduce the Prince of Fodlan to the church."

* * *

Byleth stood with the backdrop of the elegant stained glass windows in the audience hall behind her as she desperately tampered down her nervousness. It felt strange to think that after all this time she would see Dimitri again. It took everything in her to keep her expression neutral instead of the nervous, giddy smile that wanted to break out. She felt so odd; both happy and scared. It would be the first time she had seen him in five years. And her son. She would finally get to see her son grown up. It was a bittersweet feeling being able to see the baby she had given birth to as a young boy now even though she didn't get to see him grow.

The guard by that had been appointed as the Master of Ceremonies straightened when the door opened and his voice echoed through the room.

"Introducing His Majesty Dimitri Alexandre Blayddid, King of Fodlan and His Highness Nikolai J Lambert Blayddid, Prince of Fodlan!"

_Breathe_. Byleth had to remind herself and she wondered if Dimitri felt her intense stare drilling into him. He was as handsome as she remembered, especially with his hair pulled back in a half-tail, but as he came to a stop in the middle of the room her eyes fell to the young boy at his side. He had the same blonde hair that marked him as Dimitri's son but his eyes were darker than the Blayddid blue. It reminded her of the eyes she had seen in the mirror for years while growing up until she merged with Sothis and they had been forever morphed to bright green. She doubted anyone would realize the similarity, though, as her green are what most people saw and thought of now.

"My greetings, Your Grace." Dimitri hailed, drawing Byleth's attention from the nervous boy that looked like he wanted nothing more than to hide away from everyone's judging stare. There were a few light creases in Dimitri's face that hadn't been there before, showing how much he frowned as he worked, but at the moment his face was soft as if he was moments away from smiling at her. If she hadn't been so acutely aware of the audience that lined the walls, she would have willingly returned the shrouded smile. Instead, she kept her expression as even as she could manage.

"My greetings, Your Majesty."

"May I introduce my son, Nikolai J Lambert Blayddid?" He asked without expecting an answer as he rested a hand on the anxious boy's shoulder and pushed him to take a step forward. Nikolai kept his eyes averted as he moved unwillingly closer to the stern-faced Archbishop.

_He's adorable. I wonder if this is what Dimitri looked like at that age? Wait... two middle names?_ Byleth blinked at the unusual naming convention and she wondered about the single letter used as a middle name. It was unusual and she mused about it before something clicked in her mind and her gaze instantly returned to Dimitri who seemed to have been waiting for it because as soon as their eyes met he gave an almost imperceptible nod that one would not have noticed if they hadn't been looking very closely.

_Oh, I might cry... He's named after both of our fathers._ Nikolai Jeralt Lambert Blayddid.

"My greetings, Your Highness." Byleth welcomed the boy who hesitated a few moments before finally lifting his face to look at her.

"M-my greetings, Your Grace." Nikolai's shoulders rounded with his flagging confidence as a few of the nobles in the crowd giggled at the brief stutter. They fell silent quickly when both Dimitri and Byleth glared in their direction, the tension that the two of them had been feeling as they tried not to slip in their play of deception was turned into a massive wave of malice towards the people that would dare laugh at a 5-year-old's mistake.

"Be at ease," Byleth told the boy that did not know that he was her son, releasing the strain in her voice into a calm softness that would hopefully relax him. "For you are welcomed."

"T-thank you, Your Grace." Nikolai gave a slight bow and quickly stepped back to his father's side, close enough that he was nearly pressed against Dimitri's leg.

"Your rooms have been prepared. I am sure you are tired after your journey. Please take the day to rest." Byleth offered, waving towards one of the church officials that would lead them to their rooms.

"Thank you, Your Grace." Dimitri followed Nikolai's earlier action and gave a slight bow before following the official out of the audience chamber with his son in tow. Once they had left, the audience that was made up of curious nobles and high-ranked church members started to move to follow suit.

"_Stay._" Byleth commanded in an icy tone that stopped everyone in their tracks and they all turned their attention back to the stone-faced Archbishop as she gave them all a frosty stare. "I understand that there is a spectacle here between the King of Fodlan and I. I don't mind us being your entertainment, but know that whatever happened between him and I _will not_ affect how I treat his son. A child should not have to pay for the sins of his parents and I expect that as long as everyone here is at this monastery that _you _will do the same."

"Of course, Archbishop." Some of the people agreed meekly and after Byleth gave them a dismissive wave they all skittered out of the audience chamber. Seteth stepped up to her side once they were alone and spoke in a flat voice that still somehow managed to sound sarcastic.

"I think that went rather well."


	26. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this should be the last of my rapid updates. The next chapter will take a bit longer to come out. As always, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> -DarkDevilsAdvocate

* * *

He was bored.

Nikolai sighed as he flopped on the bed again after having paced the room and groaned at how bored he was. It hadn't even been an hour but there wasn't anything to _do_ in this room. He had already explored it yesterday when they had been escorted to their rooms and his father had already told him he wasn't allowed to leave without permission before promising that he would show Nikolai around the monastery later today.

Nikolai understood that his father was a very busy person and that 'later' could very well be that evening. It was a new place and he really wanted to look around but he was also a bit scared of going around by himself. Just remembering yesterday had him burying his face even further into the bedding. Why had he stuttered and embarrassed himself? He probably made his father upset too. Why wouldn't he be? His son had humiliated him in front of all those people and even worse, the Archbishop.

Nikolai sighed and sat back up, his embarrassment quickly forgotten. He was just so _bored_. It didn't matter if he was told to stay in his room, he was too bored to sit there any longer. Decision made, Nikolai leaped from the bed and opened the door to his room a crack to glance out into the hallway. Predictably there was a guard but he must have been a new one because he was on one side of the door instead of across the hall facing the room like most guards have learned to do when it came to watching Nikolai. That was because the boy, unknown to himself, had too much of his mother in him and could easily slip past anyone that wasn't paying attention; like this current guard.

He opened the door just enough to slip out and closed it behind him so slowly that even he couldn't hear the silent click of the door latching back into place, then slipped through the gap between the guard and the wall, inching down the hall until he was far enough to make a break for it.

He ran through the halls, out the door into the open air, and sprinted through the monastery until he was well and truly lost. He had never been to this place and he had been in such a rush to escape that he hadn't been paying attention to where he was going or where he had come from.

Worst yet, he didn't recognize any of the people around him. He didn't know who he could ask either. Not when the memory of those people's laugh from yesterday came back to him. He would just make things even more difficult for his father. He didn't want his father to be disappointed in him any further.

"What are you doing here?" Nikolai spun around at the voice that was obviously talking to him and was frozen in place by the sight of the Archbishop looking down at him with an expressionless face.

_She hates me... Of course, she hates me... Why wouldn't she hate me..._ His thoughts echoed in his head and he found that he couldn't force himself to turn away from the green eyes that had captured his own. He gripped at the bottom of his shirt to keep his hands from visibly shaking.

_You are the Prince of Fodlan. She can't hurt you. Dad- no- Father wouldn't let her._ Nikolai told himself and steadied his nerves.

"I-I'm exploring!"

"Is that so? And what have you found so far?" The Archbishop asked calmly, trying to keep her smile from showing at just how adorable he was when he stared up at her with such determination, his cheeks already round with his youth puffed out further in a stubborn way that begged to be pinched. The way his eyes widened and his face lowered when she asked him what he had found hit her heart in such a way that she wanted to double over in pain from having to restrain herself. Cute. He was just too cute.

"I haven't found anything yet."

"Then shall we look together?" Byleth asked as she held a hand out towards him. Nikolai hesitated, unsure whether he should or not. He didn't think she had any bad intentions even if she _did_ hate him. After a moment more he reached out and slipped his hand into hers. He was taken aback by the dazzling smile she gave once they were hand in hand. Had he been too frightened before to realize that she was so pretty?

She led him gently, going at a pace he could easily keep up with, and listened to him chatter away once he grew comfortable and bold enough to do so; telling her about his weapon lessons with Felix and Gilbert, his lessons in etiquette and politics, his explorations of Fhirdiad castle, and the time that Ingrid took him flying. Apparently, she hadn't asked Dimitri and the poor king nearly had a heart attack when he found out his, at the time, four-year-old son had been thousands of feet in the air. Any of the intimidation he had felt the day before when he had initially met the Archbishop was gone completely. She showed him the greenhouse and the lake where they fished, catching some fish that they cooked up for lunch. Nikolai had never cooked before and he was impressed that the Archbishop, of all people, did. After lunch, they visited the stables and then the gazebo before having afternoon tea.

"This is great!" Nikolai stated as he stuffed his third cookie into his mouth.

"I'm glad you've been enjoying yourself. It's good to see you so full of energy. This place misses that sometimes." Byleth smiled happily at the boy sitting across from her. She had had the best day watching the boy's eyes light up with every new place they visited and all the new experiences he was encountering. She had also heard about every aspect of his life that was tangentially related to everything they had done so far.

Nikolai stared up at the Archbishop and the gentle look on her face before lowering his eyes to his hands clenched in his lap.

"Your Grace? Thank you... For being nice to me..."

"Why wouldn't I? You are a sweet child."

"B-because... It's my fault...That you and my da- and my father... That you two aren't together..." Nikolai mumbled, his voice falling silent as his expression darkened and Byleth moved quickly to kneel before the boy, resting a hand on his to get his attention.

"What happened between us is in _no way _your fault." She insisted, trying to will him to believe her. "Why would you even think that?"

"I hear them sometimes." He confessed in a quiet voice, his lower lip trembling slightly. "The servants a-and some of the nobles. I don't think they realize I can or maybe they think I don't understand? B-but they say I'm a bastard child of some nobody... That if I wasn't born there would be harmony. T-that if a war broke out between the church and the monarchy it w-would be my fault. T-they say... sometimes they say I should have d-died with my mother.

"Uncle Felix almost broke a guy's arm once when he overheard him say something like that." Nikolai added with a forced smile that fled at the dark expression on the Archbishop's face when he looked back up at her and he feared that he had made her angry. Perhaps he should have just kept all of that to himself as he had done so far?

"Almost? He didn't break his arm?"

"N-no."

"He should have." Byleth scowled, disappointed that her old student hadn't finished the action. "What does your father do when he hears them say these things?"

"N-nothing. They never say those things where he can hear them. I-I don't think he knows they do."

In her anger, she felt the spark of power that she hadn't in a long time and, for a desperate moment, she considered grasping it and using it's dying embers to turn back time before she let her rage show on her face as it was obvious by the boy's expression that he was uneasy by her fury. She ultimately decided against using the little bit of power she had perceived. She wanted him to see her emotions. She wanted him to know just how she felt about the people that said such things about him. She hoped it would make her next words have more of an impact. With that decision, the power in her fell quiet again.

She took a moment to breathe deeply and calm down before reaching up and resting her hands on either side of Nikolai's face so he couldn't look away from the sincerity in her eyes. "You are a sweet, lovable child and you should _never_ feel bad for being born. Your father loves you and I am _positive_ your mother does too. She wants you to be safe and loved and to experience all kinds of good things. I have known you a day and I can see that you are a child that will grow up to be a great man like your father."

Nikolai's eyes burned as tears threatened to fall. His father loved him, he knew that. He doted on him when he wasn't busy and sometimes Dimitri would put off work to spend time with Nikolai. He also had precious people by him that always showed him kindness, like his uncles Felix and Sylvain or his aunts Annette and Ingrid. Dedue and Ashe always seemed so proud of him as well, always willing to put whatever they were doing aside to give him their full attention, but none of them ever said anything like what the Archbishop had. He knew it was because they thought he knew they loved him, and he truly did, but sometimes he needed to hear it too.

Without much thought to his actions, Nikolai slipped from his chair to throw his arms around the surprised Archbishop as the tears finally broke free. He sobbed into her shoulder as the ever kind woman returned the hug, rubbing his back in soothing circles until the boy calmed down, releasing him when he pulled back. She ran her thumbs under his eyes to rid him of the last of his tears.

"Hey, do you want to see something interesting?" She asked with a soft smile, standing and taking his hand when he nodded so she could lead him back inside and up the stairs to the third floor of the monastery, taking him towards her balcony.

"Oh, wow!" Nikolai gasped happily, his earlier misery forgotten at the sight of Garreg Mach and it's surrounding lands stretched out before them. "You can see forever!"

"I like to come here when I need to think." Byleth confessed as she smiled at the prince. It was a really beautiful sight, especially with the orange glow of the sun slowing setting in the distance washing everything in a warm radiance. As Nikolai glanced at the benevolent woman at his side, he had the thought that if he had known his mother that she would have been liked the Archbishop: kind and understanding and beautiful. She never treated him like the unwanted bastard that tore her away from his father. She was nothing but compassion.

It was a peaceful evening that was interrupted by shouts from down below.

"Oh no..." Byleth heard Nikolai gasp before he slipped down to conceal himself behind the railing and it took her a moment to realize that he was hiding from the people running around below. She recognized the dark skin and white hair of Dedue and the brilliant blonde of Dimitri as they seemed to be ordering people around. It took her a moment to realize that they seemed to be searching for something or, rather, _someone_.

"Did you not let your father know you were exploring?" Byleth asked without taking her eyes away from the scene below.

"I... I was supposed to stay in my room..."

"Ah." She needed to let them know that Nikolai was safe but she didn't want to call down to Dimitri on the off chance that it could break the delicate drama they had going on. Luckily there was another she could call to. "Dedue! He's with me!"

Every eye down in the garden suddenly looked up as the Archbishop's voice managed to reach them and she motioned to the boy that was slowly peeking over the side of the railing. Dimitri's relief was obvious as he sagged with the sudden release of tension from his body.

"I-i'm in so much trouble."

"Don't worry. I'll be with you the whole way." Byleth assured as she walked with the boy down to the second floor where they were met by the King of Fodlan, his retainer, and a few curious guards. There was a chilly air around Dimitri as he frowned at his son that was hiding behind Byleth's skirt.

"Nikolai. What is the _one thing _I asked of you?"

"T-to stay in the room." Nikolai mumbled and his hands wrapped themselves into the hem of his shirt while his eyes were glued to the floor, as if too embarrassed to meet his father's gaze. Dimitri frowned at the fact that his son hadn't forgotten his order, he had just willfully ignored it, and the expression grew darker when Byleth stepped further between him and his son.

"He was safe." She insisted, meeting the angry glare of Dimitri with her own righteously vexed one. Five years apart and it had accumulated into this fierce battle of wills, a metaphorically palpable clash. His frown was replaced with a scowl. Their audience wisely kept quiet.

"You can't know that."

"I can. He was with _me_ the whole day." Byleth hissed, her anger quickly matching Dimitri's in intensity. If ever there was someone that had doubted the rumor that the Archbishop and the King's relationship had broken apart, those doubts would quickly be put to rest at witnessing the situation they currently found themselves in.

"He could still have been hurt and I would have been none the wiser!"

"You think I cannot keep a child safe?!" She asked but there was an underlying question that only Dimitri would be able to pick up. Only Dimitri knew what she was really asking: _You think I cannot keep _MY_ child safe?!_

"That's not what I meant. Sometimes danger lurks where it cannot be seen." Dimitri shot back with his own deeper meaning: _Remember those that attack from the dark? He's still in danger!_

"I assure you, the monastery is quite safe."

"Is it? Even though it's been attacked before?" With those words, the fiery skirmish between the two leading bodies of Fodlan instantly cooled until the very air felt chilly and ice crawled through the blood of everyone present.

"Pl-Please stop!" Nikolai begged as he rushed between the two arguing people in his childish belief that it would keep them from coming to blows. He bowed deeply to his father, a desperate note in his voice. "It's my fault! I shouldn't have disobeyed. I'm very sorry, father. Please give me a punishment you consider appropriate."

Thrown off by the fact that someone else had leaped in between their argument, silence built between the two adults until they both simultaneously sighed, releasing whatever tension was left behind.

"It is not your fault Nikolai. It's mine. I should have at least sent someone with a message to your father to let him know where you were when I found you." Byleth admitted, looking up at Dimitri who gave an accepting nod at her round-about way of apologizing.

"I should also apologize. I didn't mean to let my temper get the better of me like that. I just... I worry."

"Any decent parent would." Byleth conceded. The silence stretched between them for what could they say after that? What could be said that wouldn't give the game away? Nikolai seemed to sense that the adults didn't know how to start the conversation again and came to the rescue with an innocent question of his own.

"So... You aren't angry at each other anymore?"

"No. Not currently." Dimitri answered as he rested his hand on his son's head in an affectionate manner, a smile blooming on Nikolai's face at the action. "Come on, It's almost time for dinner."

Byleth watched a little wistfully as Dimitri held out his arms in a silent question for the boy who answered by holding his own arms up and open, allowing Dimitri to pick the child up with practiced mastery. Without much thought, he turned his back to the Archbishop and moved to walk out of the room with Nikolai sitting on his forearm with ease.

"Um..." Nikolai hummed, pausing Dimitri in his tracks as he looked to his son inquisitively, waiting for the boy to gather up his courage to speak. Byleth watched as Nikolai said something to his father in a low voice that didn't carry further than Dimitri's ear and the King gave an odd half-smile as he looked his son in the eye.

"Why don't you ask and see?"

"Y-Your Grace..." Nikolai called after a moment of shy hesitance and Byleth was suddenly aware of two sets of blue eyes focusing on her. She straightened her posture as she regained the air of the head of the church; proper and proud. "I was just wondering... if you don't mind... would you like to join us? For dinner. If you're not busy."

"Oh." Byleth hesitated. It wouldn't be odd for her to accept, would it? It was a request from the Prince of Fodlan and she didn't want to be_ rude _after all. There were also plenty of witnesses that could vouch that it was the young prince that had asked and not a true reconciliation between her and Dimitri.

"You don't have if y-you don't want to." Nikolai added as Byleth's silence stretched on longer than he felt comfortable with and he insisted on giving her a way out if she so chose. He wanted to spend more time with the woman that had been nothing but kind to him but he didn't want to force her to do anything she didn't want to do. He didn't want her to come to hate him. "I just thought that... that you might want-."

"No, I will accept your generous invitation. Thank you for your consideration, Your Highness." Byleth interrupted before he could rescind his request. Nikolai's happy smile at her acceptance was brilliant and Byleth desperately wanted to hug the adorable boy, clenching her hands together in a white knuckle grip to restrain her impulses. Neither she nor Dimitri were aware of the not-so-subtle plan that was brewing in their son's mind.

_Maybe, if they got along, they'll fall in love again and maybe... just maybe... I'll have Her Grace as my new mother in the future. I think I'd like that... very much._

_ _


End file.
